


Artificial

by BlueberriesV



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anal Sex, Android AU, Android Victor, Angst, Artificial Intelligence, Black Mirror AU, Drama, Drinking, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Masturbation, Panic Attacks, Science Fiction, Sexual Content, Technology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-02-01 20:32:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 67,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12712437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueberriesV/pseuds/BlueberriesV
Summary: “We’ll win gold.” A bright smile lit up Viktor’s beautiful face. His expression was joyous and full of affection, all of it directed towards Yuuri. “Then, we’ll get married.”After the sudden death of Viktor, a mourning Yuuri carries on with his life but with little success. In a desperate attempt to find closure, Yuuri decides to use an online service that allows people to stay in touch with the deceased.





	1. Chapter 1

Yuuri Katsuki can’t say he’s ever been as happy as he was at that moment. Locking his brown eyes to Viktor’s beaming face, Yuuri felt as if he was on top of the world.

They weren’t doing anything special but the words that flowed out of Viktor’s mouth made him feel euphoric. He felt as if he were the only one for Viktor.

Because for nights like these, this was their moment.

“We’ll win gold.” A bright smile lit up Viktor’s beautiful face. His expression was joyous and full of affection, _all of it_ directed towards Yuuri. “Then, we’ll get married.”

Yuuri laughed softly, cheeks reddened in delight. His chest was fluttering warmly at the tender promise. A loving smile was sent back to Viktor, who was staring intently at his flushed face.

“I know we will.”

It must’ve been the hundredth time at that point. Those same whispered words that were always murmured close to Yuuri’s ear when they were laying wherever they were that night. Today, they were on the couch, bodies not even a mere inch away from each other.

But, no matter how many times Viktor may have declared it to Yuuri during nights like these. It always had the same effect on him. His face would always blush hotly and a faltering breath would escape from him. Despite Viktor always uttering the same, exact vow every night, the proclamation never ceased to surprise him.

They were in their isolated apartment in St. Petersburg, Russia, not doing much more than enjoying the warmth from the fireplace. However, Viktor’s fluttering touches against his body were much warmer than the heat radiating from their fireside.

During nights like these, Viktor would gently prop Yuuri backwards into the couch, laying on top of him. His hot mouth placing soft kisses onto his neck and when Yuuri moaned sweetly, Viktor’s eyes would darken in arousal and the pecks would become more passionate and in reply, Yuuri would groan more louder and wanting in response.

By the end of the night, there would be purple flowers blossoming all over his neck. Viktor never failed to remind him how gorgeous Yuuri was with his adoring blue eyes. Like always, during nights like these, Yuuri would reply with a response to Viktor’s own beauty with terms such as “handsome”, “stunning” or “lovely.”

For tonight, Yuuri settled for a:

“You’re beautiful.” Yuuri praised Viktor, watching as Viktor preened as usual at the compliment.

And maybe Yuuri was feeling more bold that night. Maybe it was the fact that he had a lot more nights like these. Whatever the reason was, Yuuri thought the time was right.

So for the first time, Yuuri uttered the words, “I love you, Viktor” and because it was for the first time, the words came out in a stutter, and no matter how awkward and shy Yuuri felt at that exact moment, he didn’t regret stating his love to Viktor. Though, he was slightly surprised at the fact that his anxiety made no appearance, that his doubt of Viktor feeling the same way wasn’t tightening his chest until he couldn’t breathe.

The soft declaration had Viktor repeatedly blinking his wide eyes in astonishment, his mouth wide open. Viktor stilled from where he was sitting on Yuuri’s stomach and a shaky breath had slipped out from the usually composed man.

“Oh, Yuuri.” Viktor replied, voice breathy, and Yuuri had never seen a much more beautiful man than at that moment. With the warm, glowing light from the fireplace gently complementing Viktor’s attractive features, Yuuri could swear he was looking into the face of a god.

There was no way someone as magnificent as Viktor could be a real-life human being.

Yuuri’s stirring thoughts were halted when arms flew around his torso and squeezed tightly, cutting off his breathing. Viktor was hugging him and before Yuuri could tell his fiancé to loosen up or else he might die from lack of oxygen, there was a head being rested next to his. A pair of warm lips touched his ear, making him shudder.

“I love you too.” Then the arms that were constricting his lungs loosened up and Yuuri was finally able to breath as Viktor leaned back and stared lovingly into his face with a doting grin. The infectious excited look on Viktor’s face had him smiling wide too.

Yuuri sat up and moved closer to Viktor. They leaned in to kiss and right when their lips were about to make contact, something smashed into them and Yuuri let out a high-pitched shriek in shock.

Their captivating moment was broken.

“Makkachin!” Viktor whined loudly and huffed as he stared at the dog, who panted happily at the pair of lovers. The short glimpse of annoyance disappeared from Viktor’s face as he started to coo at the dog affectionately, before patting the couch. Makkachin hopped between Yuuri and Viktor with an excited whine.

Apparently, Makkachin decided that Yuuri was in need of her attention and began to lick his face with devotion. The action had Yuuri laughing loudly at the dog that was seated on their laps as he scratched the poodle’s back.

A clicking noise of a camera going off had Yuuri glancing at Viktor in perplexity. Viktor only smiled in response at Yuuri’s confusion and showed him the picture on his phone. It was a selfie of Viktor with Yuuri and Makkachin in the background. In the picture, Viktor’s face was beaming happily while Yuuri had his eyes closed, mouth drawn upwards in a subtle smile as Makkachin licked his rosy cheek. They looked unbelievably blissful and Yuuri could say with confidence that he has never looked more carefree in his life.  

“We just declared our first “I love you’s.” Viktor stated with a bright smile. “I need to announce it to the world and show off how beautiful my Yuuri is.”

The words had Yuuri reddening and in a flash, he hid his warm face into Makkachin’s fur and hugged her for comfort, feeling more warmth pool into his his cheeks when Viktor laughed lightly at his embarrassment. His glasses were pushed against his cheeks uncomfortably but he didn’t dare to move. There was a clacking noise that signified that Viktor was typing out his post.

Then, it stopped after a minute and a warm arm wrapped around him and Makkachin. A soft kiss was placed onto his head and Yuuri leaned back, staring deep into Viktor’s soothing blue-green eyes that represented the tranquil sea.

“I love you, Yuuri.” Viktor proclaimed once more, voice more suave and prepared this time around.

During nights like these, Yuuri would wish the sun would never rise.

 

\---

 

However, like every couple, they had their downsides.

Yuuri sat at the dinner table in their apartment alone. Makkachin was laying on the floor at the foot of the table, dead asleep. At this time, Yuuri would be asleep as well in their bed with Viktor by his side.

But Viktor hadn’t come home yet and it was late. The katsudon Yuuri had prepared was now cold. His own bowl was left uneaten and no matter how many times his stomach had growled, Yuuri refused to touch his food. He had wanted to eat it with Viktor.

Today, they had been practicing until five at the ice rink on Yuuri’s short program. By then, Yuuri was willing to wait a few extra hours for Viktor to work on his own short program but Viktor had told Yuuri to go on ahead and that he would be home by nine.

Yuuri only nodded in agreement and promised Viktor that dinner would be warm and ready by the time he got home.

So Yuuri had fluttered around, attempting to make dinner as perfect as he can make it. Then, he had set the table neatly, smiling happily at his effort. The food was steaming hot and the candles that were placed in the middle of the table added a romantic flair.

As it quickly approached nine, Yuuri sat at the dining table, nervously shaking his leg as he waited for Viktor to come home. Ten minutes after nine, Makkachin plodded towards Yuuri with a whine and stared up at him in hunger.

Yuuri frowned with uncertainty at Makkachin before gasping softly in distress.

“I’m so sorry, Makkachin!” Yuuri apologized as he quickly stood up. “I completely forgot about your dinner!”  

He walked in a hurried pace towards the closet down the hall where the dog food was held. Makkachin followed Yuuri, panting eagerly when he scooped out her canned dog food and placed it into her dog bowl, along with a generous amount of kibble.

Then, Yuuri walked back out into the dining room to place the dog bowl down beside him. Makkachin attacked the food in a frenzy and swallowed everything down in quick gulps. Yuuri watched her with a light smile. She was just like her owner, Viktor, who was able to breathe in all of his food in a second.

_Speaking of Viktor…_

Yuuri glanced at his phone for the time. His phone lit up and the time, _9:17,_ popped up on his screen. Staring down, Yuuri duly noted that there were no messages or missed calls from Viktor.

It wasn’t like Viktor to be late like this. In the rare situations where he was, Yuuri’s phone would be flooded with apologies. But there were no new notifications on his phone, excluding a few texts from Phichit.

Yuuri dropped down on the chair at the dining hall with a heavy thud. He closed his eyes and breathed in heavily, trying to ignore the panicked worry pulsing through his veins. With another deep sigh, Yuuri plopped his elbows onto the table and removed his blue framed glasses to rub at his eyes wearily.

Without a second thought, Yuuri reached for his phone again and sent a concerned text to Viktor.

_You coming home soon, Vitya? Makkachin and I miss you! Also, dinner is getting cold._

Yuuri eyed the screen for at least five minutes and gnawed at his lips anxiously. When it was obvious that Yuuri wasn’t going to receive a reply any time soon, he locked his phone and placed it besides him.

Yuuri furrowed his eyebrows together as he stared blankly at the food dishes in front of him. He didn’t know what to think. There were more than a hundred possible scenarios that could’ve happened to Viktor and Yuuri was feeling more stressed by the second just thinking of the reason.

By 9:58, there was still no response from Viktor.

Since it was clear that Yuuri wasn’t going to earn any answers from Viktor, he decided to reach for the next best course of action.

He called Yuri.

There were at least two rings before the phone was picked up with a grumble.

 _“What?”_ Yuri growled, annoyance conveying itself clearly in his voice.

Normally, Yuri’s aggressive greeting would have Yuuri smiling in amusement but his panic was eating him up from the inside at that moment.

“Yurio!” Yuuri exclaimed, his distress clear.

_"That’s not my-"_

“Have you’ve seen or heard from Viktor?”

Yuuri interrupted abruptly, hands trembling, as he watched Makkachin lick her paws on the floor as a distraction. “He was supposed to be home for dinner by nine.”

There was a short silence on the phone before Yuri grumbled out more quietly.

 _"How am I supposed to know? I went home from practice at six today._ ”

“Was Viktor still there when you left?” Yuuri could hear his voice wavering as he blurted out the question. He was probably just being stupid and Viktor was most likely fine. There was no reason for him to be so jittery.

In fact, he felt like an overprotective mother obsessing over her child’s every move.

 _"Yeah_.” Yuri scoffed. “ _I’m sure Viktor was still at the ice rink by the time I left from the way Yakov was shouting his lungs out. There’s only one moron that gets yelled at like that these days and it’s sure as hell not me."_

“Oh…” Yuuri replied quietly. He was silent as his brain was racking up any other possibilities on why Viktor might be late.

 _“How ‘bout you try calling Yakov?_ ”Yuri suggested and the scattered thoughts running though Yuuri’s head stopped.

“That’s a good idea.” Yuuri sighed out in relief at the idea. “Thanks Yurio!”

 _"How many times do I have to tell-_ ”

“Bye!” Yuuri hung up, feeling slightly guilty for cutting off the call so suddenly but his urgency to figure out where Viktor was ran deeper than his desire to stay on the phone.

Yuuri quickly scrolled through his contacts list until he found Yakov. With his heart beating fast and hard in his chest, Yuuri called Yakov.

 _"Zdravstvuyte?_ ” A deep, grouchy voice answered in Russian.

“Hi, Yakov.”

Yuuri greeted politely in reply. When it was clear Yakov wasn’t going to say much more until Yuuri stated his reason for calling him, Yuuri let the words spill out.

“I was just calling to ask if you know where Viktor went. He was supposed to be home about an hour ago.”

 _"That boy went home the usual time today. What Vitya is up to after that is usually not my business._ ” Yakov then grumbled under his breath rather bitterly. _"It’s not like he ever listens to me_.”

“Is that so?” Yuuri said, eyebrows furrows together in perplexity. “Ah, then I guess that's all I had to say. Sorry for bothering you this late into the night.”

 _"Yuuri._ ” Yakov uttered his name in a serious tone. _"Watch over Vitya well. In my years of knowing him, that boy only knows how to pull off some really stupid stuff_.”

“I will.” Yuuri responded softly. “Thank you for your time, Yakov.”

After exchanging their farewells, Yuuri ended the call. He sat there, not moving, as he stared down at his phone silently.

_10:13_

His stomach growled hungrily. Yuuri turned back to the cold food but it no longer looked appetizing. Instead, it made his stomach twist uneasily and made him feel sick.

Yuuri turned away from the food and opted to go on his phone again. The only thing Yuuri had tried so far was texting so maybe if he tried calling, Viktor would pick up. Surely, Viktor would answer his phone call to inform Yuuri that something had come up, especially since it was so late. There was no way Viktor would make Yuuri fret like this.

With more certainty about the situation, Yuuri called Viktor and waited for his fiance to pick up.

 _"Hello!_ ”

“Viktor!” Yuuri exclaimed in delight but his excitement at hearing Viktor’s voice quickly died down.

 _"You’ve reached Viktor Nikiforov’s phone, congratulations! If you’re meaning to tell me something important, feel free to leave a message at the beep.”_ There was a slight pause where Yuuri could discern a giggle. _"Dasdivanya!”_

The voice message then ended and a beep rang loudly into his ear.

“Viktor, you haven’t been answering your phone. Please come home soon, I’m worried.” Yuuri ended the call after those words, not letting disappointment overcome him that quickly. Hopefully Viktor would notice his missed call and contact him back soon.

With another drawn sigh, Yuuri plopped his cheek onto the table. Makkachin was next to him on the floor, snoring loudly and peacefully in her sleep. In hopes of making time pass by faster, Yuuri decided to go through his social media.

Yuuri scrolled through a few tweets, chuckling softly at a few funny dog pictures. Since there wasn’t much activity Twitter, Yuuri quickly switched to Instagram. He wasn’t surprised to see that the first post that appeared on his feed was Phichit posing for a selfie.

 **phichit+chu** _Enjoying a warm meal after a hard day of training!_

The picture of Phichit grinning wide at the camera, alongside a dish of steaming pad thai, caused Yuuri to smile faintly. It had been awhile since he had talked to Phichit and Yuuri couldn’t help but admit he missed late night chats with his friend.

He should plan to call Phichit sometime soon and catch up with him.

After liking the photo, Yuuri scrolled past a few photos, pausing at a few posts to like. He went through at least seven posts before there was one that made him stop.

 **christophe-gc** _Just landed! #st.petersburg #russia_

There was a picture of Christophe in the airport, winking at the camera. The post was uploaded nine hours ago which meant he must’ve landed around one o’ clock. Yuuri hummed in thought as he regarded the phone.

Maybe there a possibility Chris was with Viktor. Yuuri stilled and furrowed his eyebrows in contemplation. Not wanting to ponder any longer on the subject, Yuuri exited the app and went on his contact list to call Chris.

The phone rang a couple times before going straight to voicemail. Yuuri frowned in frustration and hung up without leaving a voicemail.

It seemed like he wasn’t going to receive any answers easily.

Eventually, Yuuri’s worries and anxieties slipped away the moment he fell into a slumber at the table.

It wasn’t long before he woke up in a daze. There was drool on his arm and his back ached from slumping down onto the table. Yuuri squinted around in confusion, rubbing his eyes wearily before reaching for his glasses besides him.

It took a couple of seconds for Yuuri to realize he had passed out while waiting for Viktor to come home. Feeling drained, Yuuri reached for his phone, ignoring the soft snores coming from Makkachin.

_11:53_

It was nearly midnight and there was still no trace of Viktor. Sourly, Yuuri noticed that no one had replied to him.

Yuuri slammed his phone onto the table in agitation and placed his arms onto the table, before hiding his face into them.

There’s no reason to be worried.

Yuuri repeated the words in his head, trying to calm himself down. He breathed slowly with his eyes closed and felt the tension leave him. He stayed in that position for awhile, feeling sleep about to overcome him once again.

Right as soon as he was about to doze off, a loud thud against the front door startled Yuuri awake. With his heart pounding, Yuuri flickered his wide brown eyes to the door, gripping the table tightly in terror.

“H-hello?”

Yuuri called out nervously, swallowing to moisten his dry mouth. A loud giggle answered him in reply, causing Yuuri to blink in bewilderment.

“Viktor?”

He stood up quickly and went straight for the door. Makkachin followed along, whining lowly as she pawed the door. Yuuri unlocked the door and swung it open, feeling startled when the stench of alcohol hit his nose strongly.

Viktor stood there with a huge, drunken grin on his face and he was heavily leaning onto one side. His appearance was disheveled with his silver hair unkempt and his clothes wrinkled. He also looked like he was about to collapse.

“Yuuri!”

Viktor hugged him tightly, burying his face into Yuuri’s neck, smelling deeply. Yuuri shivered and tensed up, before taking a step back into the house. Viktor stumbled but did not release his grip on Yuuri, only holding onto him more firmly.

“You smell so good. I..I-” Viktor laughed loudly as he fumbled around his words. “I love you so much, Yuuri!”

Viktor slurred, as he snuggled Yuuri’s neck and kissed it sloppily. Yuuri didn’t reply to Viktor. Instead, he gently grabbed Viktor’s shoulders and pushed him away. Then, he locked the front door, before glancing back to Viktor, who was looking at him with adoring eyes.

“Viktor, you’re really drunk…” Yuuri said quietly, frowning at his fiance in disappointment. His frown grew deeper when Viktor didn’t react to his upset statement, opting to turn to his dog as an alternative.  

“Makkachin!” Viktor exclaimed in glee and dropped to his knees, before hugging the confused-looking dog as well. Then, his fiance closed his eyes and sighed in relief as he laid his head against their dog’s belly. Yuuri could only furrow his eyebrows together as Viktor laid on the floor with Makkachin as his makeshift pillow.

Yuuri dropped down besides Viktor, shaking his shoulder in concern. Viktor mumbled sleepily in reply but Yuuri didn’t stop until he saw blue eyes open tiredly.

“What?”

Viktor grumbled in irritation, closing his eyes again.

“Where were you?”

Yuuri said seriously, not feeling any remorse when he shook Viktor to jostle him awake once more. Viktor rolled his eyes onto Yuuri’s with a tired frown.

“Ouuuuut.”

“With who?”

“Chriiis…” Viktor replied in growing agitation, as he stared at Yuuri with annoyance. “Stop asking me questions.”

Yuuri looked back nervously, as his heart start to beat faster. He had never witnessed Viktor this drunk before and it was definitely not a sight he was liking. Yuuri breathed in shakily, staring at Viktor with a troubled look.

“I… I was worried about you. You told me you’d be home by 9 o’ clock so I cooked dinner for you and waited… but you never came home. I thought something bad might’ve happened since you never picked up my texts or calls. Then, I called Yuri and Yakov and they had no idea. I was so scared, Viktor!”

Yuuri realized he was rambling but he was anxious over the situation. He glanced at Viktor with distressed tears welling up but instead of the consoling face he expected of his fiance, Yuuri was met with a peeved glare.

“Stop overreacting. I was with Chris and he’s a good friend.” Viktor grumbled out in annoyance, his blue eyes looking cold. Yuuri winced back at the frigid stare and blinked rapidly, trying to stop his tears from escaping

“I didn’t know you were with him!” Yuuri cried out, as he tried to contain the sobs attempting to escape his throat. “Y-You need to tell me next time. I was concerned!”

Viktor stood up, wobbling slightly, closing his eyes as his head rocked back. Yuuri rose as well, moving closer to help Viktor find his standing but his body was shoved away.

“Don’t touch me!” Viktor yelled out loudly, words still slurred as before. Yuuri gasped at Viktor in shock, his teary eyes wide.

Viktor staggered away, mumbling drunken complaints about Yuuri under his breath as he walked into their bedroom. Yuuri could only stand there until the slam of the door jolted him out of his frozen stance.

Then, Yuuri was crying heavily and the tears were running down his face swiftly. He kept trying to convince himself that he shouldn’t be so upset over Viktor’s drunken antics but Yuuri felt so hurt by Viktor’s words. It was frightening how Viktor’s attitude changed from loving to unfriendly in just a mere minute.

A wet snout pushed against his hand and Yuuri glanced down with a sob and cried even harder at the sight of Makkachin trying to comfort him. Yuuri pulled his hand away and felt his face scrunched up in misery.

As he sniffled loudly, Yuuri glanced at the table and felt his chest tighten at the uneaten food. With another sniffle, Yuuri trudged himself towards the table and started cleaning up, not bothering to save the food for tomorrow. Instead, he just dumped all the food into the trash and left the plates in the sink.

After cleaning up, Yuuri dragged himself to the couch and rubbed his puffy eyes. He felt exhausted after weeping to himself for a good twenty minutes. He laid himself down, feeling a small bit of comfort when Makkachin jumped onto the couch right besides him.

In a sad attempt to ignore his nerves and sorrow, Yuuri closed his eyes and tried to lull himself to sleep. It took him a good thirty minutes before all of Yuuri’s stressful thoughts left his mind and he was unconscious.

 

\---

 

Yuuri slept on despite the loud sound of cabinets drawers closing in the kitchen and the bright light of the sun fell upon his closed eyelids.  

However, he did wake up when a cold palm caressed his cheek and ran through his hair. Yuuri opened his eyes with a jerk and a surprised gasp. He looked up to find Viktor staring down at him with a startled but regretful gaze.

“Viktor.” Yuuri croaked out worriedly and sat up quickly, rubbing his swollen, red eyes. “Are you feeling bet-”

Yuuri stopped speaking when Viktor threw his arms around him in a comforting embrace. It felt warmer and much more tender than the intoxicated caress from the night before. It was silent as Viktor hugged him.

“I’m so sorry, Yuuri.” Viktor said miserably and Yuuri breathed in sharply with disbelief when he felt wet tear drops falling onto his neck. “I didn’t mean anything I said last night. I’m so sorry for making you cry.”

Viktor tightened his embrace, making Yuuri gasp in surprise. Viktor must’ve really felt bad about last night for him to be upset like this.

“It’s okay.” Yuuri laughed shakily. “It’s okay, Viktor, I’m fine now.”

“Yuuri.” Viktor sniffled before whining. “I’m so sorry, I won’t do it again!”

Yuuri stayed still as Viktor cried silently before pushing Viktor away from him softly. Viktor looked at him in sorrow, his face as red and blotchy as Yuuri’s.

Yuuri smiled at Viktor shyly, dropping his eyes down to their laps. Seeing how distressed Viktor was about the incident made Yuuri feel silly about his own reaction. It was stupid of Yuuri to get so obsessive about Viktor’s whereabouts.

“It’s alright, I believe you.” Yuuri couldn't find it in him to look at Viktor. “I guess I did overreact a bit, it wasn’t your fault.”

A hand grasped his chin and lifted his face up. Yuuri stared at Viktor with wide eyes, blinking in befuddlement.

“Viktor?”

“It’s not your fault too, Yuuri.” Viktor said solemnly, blue eyes narrowed seriously. “You have the right to be worried about me, especially when I don't answer my phone for hours.”

Then, Viktor began to speak in a quiet, ashamed tone.

“I saw your text message and voicemail. I’m sorry for not responding, I must’ve panicked you. I promise I'll always tell you the next time I have plans.”

Yuuri could see a whole range of emotions flickering on Viktor’s face. There was regret, sorrow and self-hatred all combined into that intense gaze of Viktor’s. Yuuri’s eyebrows scrunched up in concern, not liking the disappointed look on Viktor’s face. So he gently grabbed Viktor’s hands into his own and smiled fondly at him.

“I trust you.” Yuuri smiled even wider when Viktor’s expression slowly softened into relief. “One time mistake, right?”

Yuuri then planted a light kiss onto Viktor’s lips, feeling his chest loosen when Viktor fixated his admiring gaze on him, looking as sappy as Yuuri felt.

There was a soft exclamation of his name before he was tugged into another kiss. It was much deeper than the previous one and Yuuri could feel the immense amount of love Viktor put into the kiss. When Viktor pulled away with a satisfied grin, Yuuri was dazed and panting lightly, his cheeks flushed pink.

“It’ll be my final mistake.” Viktor said in resolution, face drawn back with confidence. “No more mistakes like last night.”

Staring into Viktor’s determined expression, Yuuri was absolutely certain that Viktor would pull through with his promise.

 

\---

 

The months rolled by quickly from that point on. Their nights were often filled with passionate sessions of sex and the same whispered promises of winning gold. The first competition to qualify for the Grand Prix Final was rapidly coming up and they began working harder for the occasion.

Many of their days were filled with them training hard for the event and perfecting their routines. Most days, Yuuri went home early so that Viktor could train with Yakov. There was never a night where Viktor would come home late without telling him first.

At least until _that_ day.

The next time the day derived from its usual turn of events, it was a pretty typical morning and their daily routine was the same for the most part. Yuuri woke to the shrill sound of their alarm at six a.m. and immediately hopped into the shower.

When he finally left the bathroom, dressed and ready, Viktor was still snoring in bed. At that point, Yuuri walked over to Viktor and shook him gently with a smile. Viktor woke up with a tired groan, blue eyes squinted, looking adorably drowsy. Yuuri chuckled in amusement when Viktor sat up sluggishly and didn’t make the effort to move.

“Wake up, sleepy.” Yuuri murmured softly, smiling even wider when Viktor turned to him with a weary pout.

“I’m so tired, Yuuri. How ‘bout another ten minutes?”

When Yuuri sent Viktor a pointed look, Viktor sighed in resignation. However, he did not budge from the bed.

“Maybe a little something will wake me up?” Viktor smiled at Yuuri and winked suggestively. Yuuri rolled his eyes lightly, laughing at the ridiculous gesture.

“Don’t be cheesy, Viktor.” Yuuri remarked playfully, as he ran his hand through his wet, black hair. Although he said that, Yuuri could not deny the fact that he was as excessively sentimental as Viktor was.

In response of Yuuri’s comment, Viktor sent him a sulky frown and Yuuri couldn’t help but release an exaggerated sigh.

“You’re so silly.” Yuuri mumbled softly before leaning in to kiss Viktor’s lips. The kiss lasted around ten seconds before Yuuri pulled away, feeling his heart pound quickly in happiness at the bright, lively grin Viktor sent him.

“I feel so much more awake now!” Viktor exclaimed as he perked up and jumped out of the bed. “Thanks, Yuuri! Your kisses are definitely the magical cure for my sleepiness.” There was a slight hug between them before Viktor started to stroll to the bathroom. “My very own Prince Charming, am I right?”

“Viktor!” Yuuri cried out in embarrassment, his cheeks reddening at the remark. Viktor turned to Yuuri with a mischievous grin.

“Just teasing.” Then, the bathroom door closed and the sound of the shower starting up filled the air. Yuuri groaned in mortification and planted his face into his hands, wondering how he was still easily embarrassed by Viktor’s antics this far into their relationship.  

It wasn’t long before Viktor was out and ready. With coffee and a light breakfast meal in their hands, they left their house and began walking to their car.

At the ice rink, they fell under their regular drill. Yuuri skated his short program, heedful of Viktor’s watchful gaze, and would take account to any advice Viktor would offer afterwards. Then, Yuuri began to practice his jumps and step sequence in his own little corner at the ice rink while Viktor transitioned from his coach to a student.

Yakov watched with a sharp gaze from the side of the ice rink while Viktor performed his routine. As Viktor started his short program, Yuuri found himself not being able to take his eyes off Viktor as he swayed beautifully to the music booming through the speakers.

It took a snappy remark from Yuri for Yuuri to come out of his fascinated daze.

“Stop eye-fucking that old man and start practicing.” Yuri growled out in an annoyed tone, his turquoise eyes narrowed angrily.

“Sorry…” Yuuri replied nervously, sending Yuri a sheepish grin, who scowled in response.

“How are you even going to beat me at Grand Prix when you’re too busy ogling Viktor everyday? How disgusting.” The irritated remark had Yuuri smiling, feeling touched by Yuri’s concern. Even though Yuri’s statement was disguised with repulsion and hostility, Yuuri could detect the concern in Yuri’s words.

“I guess you’re right. Thanks Yurio.” Yuuri replied warmly, laughing softly when Yuri turned away with a scoff.

Yuuri didn’t find it hard to slip back into silently practicing his jumps and routine to himself while Viktor skated on the other side of the ice rink from him.

It wasn’t long before all the skaters stopped for a lunch break. As Yuuri slid off the ice, he could hear an energetic shout.

“Yuuri!” Viktor exclaimed with a gleeful face, waving happily. “Did you see me skate? Was it good?”

“It was magnificent.” Yuuri laughed in reply, finding Viktor’s enthusiasm compelling. Viktor’s skating has always captivated him and now that Viktor was back this season, Yuuri had to work harder than ever. He was thrilled to have his fiancé by his side as he worked towards the Grand Prix Final.

Viktor beamed even brighter at the statement and when he reached Yuuri, he wasted no time in kissing Yuuri’s cheek. Yuuri blushed hotly at the action and jolted in surprise at the disgusted grumble from Yuri.

They didn’t spend much time eating lunch and before Yuuri knew it, he was back on ice. At this time, he was practicing his free skate program while Viktor stood by and studied Yuuri intensely. When Viktor told him to attempt one of the jumps he failed to nail correctly the first time, Yuuri did so without retorting.

Yuuri was deeply concentrated on perfecting his performance and it wasn’t long before he was finished for the day. Yuuri panted softly to himself as he skated out of the ice rink where Viktor was waiting for him with his arms wide open.

“You skated so gracefully today.” Viktor whispered into his ear as he tightened his embrace, causing Yuuri to shiver. “If you keep that up, you’ll win gold in a heartbeat.”

Viktor released him with a smile and leaned down to take his ice skating guards off. As he stepped onto the ice rink, Viktor turned to him one last time.

“See you tonight, Yuuri.”  

Yuuri stared at Viktor as he skated up to Yakov, who had just finished giving lessons to Georgi for the day. Then, Georgi was by his side, taking off his skates.

“Ready to head out?” Georgi asked, causing Yuuri to blink out of his blank stupor. He flashed Georgi an apologetic look and bent down to take his skates off as well.

“Yeah.”

Since Viktor and Yuuri left the skating rink at different times, it was difficult to figure out a plan at first on how they’d travel home when there was only one car between them. They were clueless on what to do before Georgi came up with a solution. It was a brilliant answer to their problem considering that both Yuuri and Georgi finished their training around the same time.

However, the car ride home wasn’t any better by any means. Yuuri was usually quiet most days while Georgi would blast love songs through his radio. Sometimes, Georgi would ramble on about his ex, Anya, and Yuuri would be nodding along unenthusiastically as he pretended to listen along.

When they finally reached the apartment complex, Yuuri left the car a bit too eagerly and mumbled a quick farewell. Entering his apartment, Yuuri was quick to brighten up as Makkachin jumped on him with an excited bark.

He laughed, happy to have such a cute dog to be around. It often got lonely during the nights Yuuri had to wait for Viktor but Makkachin made up for Viktor’s absence.

It wasn’t long before Yuuri had dinner set up at the dining table. He decided to go for Chinese takeout tonight, something they both haven't had in awhile.

The food was steaming hot and Yuuri had the bowls set up, along with the containers of food being placed on the table.

Yuuri wasn’t worried about the food going cold because Viktor always came home around the same time each day. Sometimes though, it would be a few minutes earlier or later than the promised time.

The last time Viktor didn’t come home on time, he was out with Chris and forgot to mention it to him. Since then, Viktor has kept up on keeping his promise which reassured the small piece of doubt in the back of Yuuri’s mind.

At least fifteen minutes before Viktor was supposed to arrive, Yuuri grabbed Makkachin’s dinner and placed it beside the kitchen table.

Then, he sat at the table, already prepared to greet his fiancé with a wide smile. It always warmed Yuuri whenever his fiancé would beam at the greeting he would say every night.

 _“Okaeri!”_ Yuuri would say cheerfully and then Viktor would deliver a bright look and whisper _“I’m home”_ in Russian as a reply.

However, Viktor didn’t come home at nine that night. Yuuri didn’t worry though because he knew that Viktor wouldn’t break his promise. Viktor doesn’t make mistakes and this was indeed an error that his fiancé can’t make. Not after he swore profusively to Yuuri that he would never come home late again without warning him.

Then, in a blink of an eye, it was 9:30 and Yuuri was gnawing his lips nervously with his hands were clenched tightly into fists. Looking at his phone didn’t help because the fact that there was no notifications only proved to make him more anxious.

Breathing in shakily, Yuuri dropped his face into his hands while mumbling in disbelief. There was no way this was happening again. There was no chance in hell that Viktor would be late. But no matter how many times Yuuri reassured himself, Viktor did not show up.

There was a slight fear that resided in Yuuri that Viktor was going to come home with him in a drunken state. It wasn’t fun at all the last time and Yuuri wasn’t confident on what to expect once Viktor walked through that door.

After an hour had slipped by, Yuuri found himself on the couch with his phone pressed against his ear. He needed someone to reassure him that everything was alright and the first person he could think of was his close friend, Phichit.

 _“Maybe he’s run into some traffic.”_ Yuuri furrowed his eyebrows in doubt, shaking his head silently at the suggestion.

“It’s been more than an hour, Phichit.” Yuuri whispered, scratching Makkachin’s belly for comfort. Makkachin was lying next to him on the couch and scrambled next to him the moment she detected his distress. “The ice rink is only twenty minutes away.”

Traffic wouldn’t cause Viktor to be so late. Even if that was a possibility, Yuuri would’ve expected Viktor to send him a text or call him in a fit of boredom.

 _“Then, a surprise?”_ Phichit proposed, his voice sounding enthusiastic. _“He could be planning to bring home a fancy dinner, along with some champagne and roses. Is today by any chance your anniversary?”_

Yuuri frowned, pursing his lips in thought. There wasn’t anything particularly special about today. If that were the case, Yuuri would’ve been aware because he had always kept note of the days where they had a special occasion.

There was nothing spectacular about today’s date. Instead, it was a typical day.

“No.” Yuuri replied doubtfully. “I would’ve known if that were the case.”

_“How about-”_

“Phichit, I’m worried.” Yuuri interrupted quietly, his body tense as he voiced his trouble. “What if he’s in a bad situation?”

 _“I’m sure it’s nothing.”_ Phichit said with confidence. There was enough certainty in his voice that Yuuri _almost_ believed in his words as well. _“Viktor is most likely fine and before you know it, he’s probably going to burst through that door. Then bam, you’ll be having the best sex of your life.”_

Yuuri stayed silent, not having the heart to complain at Phichit’s teasing. Normally, he would be reddening all the way to his ears and be whining at the suggestive words but tonight, he wasn’t feeling it.  

“I don’t know.”

_“Then why don’t you call Yakov? Shouldn’t he be the one that Viktor saw last?”_

Yuuri could feel himself shaking at the idea. The last time he had called Yakov was the night Viktor had come home late. Yuuri recalled the irritation that progressively developed to fury when Yuuri had told him he had called Yuri and Yakov. He could almost feel the rage radiating from Viktor that drunken night.

“I-I don’t want to bother him so late, especially with something so dumb.” Yuuri mumbled, angrily rubbing away the tears that were starting to form. It was stupid for him to be so emotional about small stuff like this. “He probably has better things to do than to listen to someone ramble on about their worries.”

 _“Yuuri.”_ Phichit said comfortably, his voice soft as if he were consoling a frightened puppy. _“I think you should-”_

A sudden knock caused Yuuri to flinch and he darted his skittish eyes towards the door. Makkachin perked up and stared at the door curiously. Another knock caused Yuuri to stand up and he quickly muttered a quick farewell to Phichit before hanging up.

“Viktor?” Yuuri said hopefully as he paced towards the door. Makkachin followed along and whined softly as she pawed the door.

However, when Yuuri opened the door, it wasn’t to the breathtaking view of his fiancé. Instead, it was to the grim but stern faces of two police officers. The flashing red and blue lights of their cars only emphasized the reality of the situation.

Yuuri froze and felt a chill run down his body. He tightened his grip on the door knob and could only stare in dread at the officers as they tried to explain in their broken English.

_Viktor… Car accident… Rapid loss of blood... Dead…_

The words went in one ear and straight out of the other. His brain was currently not able to process any of the news properly. Instead, Yuuri tried to keep himself together but his heart kept pounding faster and faster.

His throat was suddenly tight and he _couldn’t_ breathe. Yuuri trembled uncontrollably as his stomach twisted and turned. He was going to throw up.

Makkachin whimpered loudly but Yuuri paid no heed because he was _trying_ to breathe and he _couldn’t._

Yuuri _couldn’t_ breathe. He _couldn’t_ breathe _._

The troubled expressions of the officers didn’t reach Yuuri. He was lost in his own wave of emotions and could only feel a sense of unreality as one of the officers touched his arm in concern.

_No. No. No..._

Yuuri denied, his mind numb with shock, even as the tears slipped down from his cheeks rapidly.

Viktor was supposed to be home on time.

They were supposed to win gold together.

_They were going to get married._

Viktor **_promised_ ** him.


	2. Chapter 2

At the news of Viktor Nikiforov’s death, the world crashed down. There were tsunamis that devoured buildings, forest fires that consumed trees, tornados that ripped out homes from the ground and plus, there were flying pigs. Life was no longer an important matter to Mother Earth.

In reality, the world hadn’t ended yet but to Yuuri, it might as well have. What meaning can life truly have if Viktor was no longer alive? How could people keep moving on with life like _nothing_ was wrong.

It was cruel for Viktor to have left Yuuri without warning him beforehand.

Five days after his passing, Viktor’s funeral was held at a simple venue in St. Petersburg, Russia. The funeral was a tough ordeal. Even though the sun was bright and the birds were chirping happily, it felt like the gloomiest day of Yuuri’s life. He didn’t exactly remember how he went through his routine that particular day. Yuuri only recalled that the whole morning was just a blur.

The whole skating community was invited to Russia after Viktor’s death. However, due to busy schedules, a few skaters weren’t able to make it to the funeral. Though many people showed up at the ceremony, some that included friends and family members that even Yuuri didn’t recognize.

It caused Yuuri to realize that despite being around Viktor for more than a year, he still didn’t know Viktor as well as he thought. The idea of Yuuri not learning more about his fiancé’s friends and family only made him feel more miserable.

His knowledge of Viktor from when he was simply a fan and fiancé didn’t compare to the knowledge of the people who grew up with him.

During the memorial service, people spoke of their fondest memories of Viktor. There were some laughs, tears and sobs at the stories told. All the speakers depicted Viktor as a handsome, charismatic man who loved to surprise people.

There was a childhood friend who described Viktor as a carefree and kindred spirit who was always the first one to finish a meal.

That was true.

A distant cousin talked about how Viktor was awfully blunt as a child and wasn’t afraid to point out how hideous his mint green sweater went with orange shoes. Some laughs were awakened from the statement.

Also true.

Another friend spoke up who Yuuri was unfamiliar with. The woman described herself as a close college friend of Viktor’s. She told the audience that Viktor was the most popular man in the university and that he was flirty to everyone he met. _Everyone_ loved Viktor Nikiforov, she declared.

Yuuri believed that to be a fact.

Christophe Giacometti was the next speaker. He looked somber in his black suit but he was still able to send everyone a soft, nostalgic smile as he spoke about Viktor. Viktor was someone people looked up to, even Chris himself. He always brightened up the room and was an adventure to be around.

That was indeed accurate.

Yuri Plisetsky grumbled at how Viktor was forgetful and that it was just like that idiot to be the first one gone. Everyone went silent at the words but then Yuri bounced back by stating that Viktor was a significant role model in his life and that he was certain that Viktor was now in a better place.

Yuuri wasn’t sure how to feel about Yuri’s speech. Though, it definitely didn’t make him feel better if the way his chest ached heavily was any indicator.  

Yakov Feltsman spoke up last. He described the success of Viktor Nikiforov and how Viktor left a huge impact on the world. There were complaints of Viktor’s impulsiveness but there were more compliments of Viktor’s brilliance, artistry and talent as a skater. Yakov talked about Viktor like a proud father would about their son.

The tender speech caused some tears to swell up in Yuuri’s eyes. He blinked them away before anyone could notice.

When Yakov finished talking, he announced that it was reception. Yuuri noticed the confused glances from some of the people at the funeral. It didn’t take Yuuri more than a second to figure out what they were perplexed about.

Why didn’t Yuuri had anything to say?

Yuuri could feel the puzzled eyes on him. They were probably wondering why he wasn’t talking. As Viktor’s student, friend and fiancé, Yuuri would certainly have plenty to say. But Yuuri couldn’t speak.

It still felt unreal. It was too early for Yuuri. He didn’t want to acknowledge Viktor’s death this soon.  

Yuuri could recall the next morning after Viktor’s death had happened. He was in shock and for the longest time, Yuuri just sat at the couch and didn’t move an inch at all.

He didn’t budge when Makkachin came up to him and whined because she needed to pee. He didn’t stir when the phone rang over and over again. He didn’t flinch when he heard banging on his door and worried shouts of his name.

After the longest time, the door had opened. Both Yakov and Yuri had came up to him with distraught expressions on their faces and when Yuri asked him why he didn’t answer the door with agitation in his voice, Yuuri broke down.

He threw his face into his hands and felt the tears flood out of his eyes. The sobs shook his body heavily and once again, Yuuri couldn’t breathe. He kept on wailing loudly, whimpers pouring out of his mouth.

Yakov and Yuri stayed silent during his breakdown and when Yuuri finally stopped crying, his whole face was ruddy and messy from the amount of tears that flowed out. They didn’t say anything as they grabbed food for Yuuri to eat, before urging him to sleep.

Yuuri figured they dealt with Makkachin’s needs from the way she barged in and jumped on the bed. As she curled up besides him, Yuuri heard the front door shut close.

He was so incompetent.

The next day, Yakov was back with Yuri again. Yuuri was slightly more okay then. His face was pale with dark circles under his eyes but at least he was able to mumble a few words then and there.

They asked how Yuuri was feeling and if he needed anything. Yuuri answered the best he could, despite not remembering what he said exactly. Then, like a bomb dropping, Yakov mentioned funeral plans.

Yuuri remembered tensing as he stared in wide-eyed horror at Yakov, who only continued on. Apparently, it was all dealt with already. It hadn’t been more than a day or two and Yakov was already talking about _Viktor’s_ funeral.

He could feel the tell-tale signs that he was about to start weeping from the way his eyes prickled and his cheeks grew warm from the strain of keeping it together. Yuuri remembered the way Yuri had stiffened, before nervously elbowing Yakov.

However, Yakov didn’t stop speaking and Yuuri knew that Yakov noticed his teary eyes from the way the older man kept darting his eyes towards his face as he talked.

Then, Yakov dropped another bomb.

“Do you want to be one of the speakers at the memorial service?”

Yuuri stilled at the words and furrowed his eyebrows together. Did he want to speak? At the thought, Yuuri felt his himself let out a shaky breath.

_No._

He shook his head. It hurt too much even thinking about it. Yuuri didn’t think he could handle talking about Viktor in front of a crowd without getting overwhelmed with all of his emotions.

“No.” Yuuri rasped out, eyes downcast towards the floor. He didn’t want to see the disappointed looks on their faces.

Surprisingly, Yakov accepted his answer and talked a little more about the funeral. Then, he was finished and mentioned briefly about how he’ll have someone pick Yuuri up in a few days. Yuuri nodded along, barely listening to the words.

As Yuuri sat there, watching people talk to each other from where he was seated at the venue, he wondered what he could’ve said.

Would he have told them how Viktor was so gentle and caring whenever they were alone together? Or would he have mentioned how beautiful Viktor’s smile to him was compared to the practiced grin he displayed to the world?

Maybe Yuuri would mention how often Viktor tenderly kissed the gold band on his finger while promising him they’ll get married once he received a much bigger gold medal?

If he were to speak, Yuuri would’ve definitely have told the crowd how much of a child Viktor was in contrast to the charming persona he was like on media.

But Yuuri was still in denial so he sat in his chair and didn’t utter a word. People bustled around, all of them talking about Viktor in some form with plates of food in their hands. Yuuri was glad none of his friends came up to him to talk. He only needed the silence and his own thoughts.

It felt too soon when he was disrupted from his numb state of mind. A woman sat next to him and sent him a friendly smile. Yuuri didn’t smile back. Instead, he regarded the older woman, taking note of her soft wrinkles, blonde hair and blue eyes.

“Hi, my name is Diana Vadimovna.”

Yuuri didn’t say anything in reply, only staring back silently in reply. There was a strong Russian accent when the woman spoke in English. Who was she to Viktor? He was curious but he didn’t have the desire to speak. The woman’s smile dimmed at his lack of response.

“I was a sponsor of Viktor’s.” Diana said softly, her light blue eyes _so_ similar to Viktor’s. “I’ve heard about you, Yuuri Katsuki. You must’ve been close to Viktor.”

Yuuri nodded dully at the words but refused to offer more than that. It didn’t dissuade the sponsor from continuing.

“When Viktor first announced that he was retiring for the season to coach a skater. People were in disbelief, myself included.” There was a wistful expression on her face. “No one could figure out why the living legend would drop ice skating for a mere Japanese skater who placed last at the Grand Prix final.”

Yuuri bit his lips nervously, staring at the woman in uncertainty. Was she going to chew him out for stealing Viktor from ice skating?

“Russia wasn’t fond of you, dear. I’m ashamed to admit that I wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about you as well. However, no one could deny the chemistry the both of you had. The love was obvious in every interview.”

Diana’s eyes sharpened, causing Yuuri to shift in his chair uncomfortably. He wasn’t sure what direction the woman was going.

“I know a thing about death. It hurts and no matter how much time slips by, it never stops being painful. I dealt with loss not too long ago and I have to admit, it’s tough to conquer.”

Yuuri stiffened, as he gnawed his lips harder. He opened his mouth, wanting to tell the woman to please stop talking but nothing came out. Since he wasn’t able to spit out his words, Yuuri tried to convey his thoughts through his expression.

_No more._

Diana only continued to talk.

“But eventually, I was able to move on. These days, it’s easier for me to continue on with life when it was so hard for me before. I could help you too.”

“Stop.” Yuuri said softly, as he frowned at the sponsor. Diana did stop speaking for a moment and the sympathetic look on her face did not go unnoticed. Yuuri turned away from the expression with a wince.

“There’s this software that could help you speak to Viktor. It can mimick him flawlessly.” Diana said in a whisper and placed her hand over his tightly clenched hand. He withdrew it away instantly, sending her a pained look. “It helped me so much, I’m sure it can do the same for you. It’ll let you have move forward.”

“Please stop.” Yuuri voiced more firmly. Despite how articulated his words were, Yuuri felt like he was on the brink of a nervous breakdown. His breathing became more heavier and he was trembling with anxiety.

“You don’t even have to do anything. I’ll sign you up for the program and since Viktor was such a heavy user on social media, I think it’ll work out just fine.”

“Shut up…” The words were unlike Yuuri to say but he’d do anything to have Diana be quiet. He was becoming more nauseous the further she kept rambling.

“It’s still developing but it really does make miracles happen. I know that Viktor just died so-”

“Shut up!” Yuuri shouted from the top of his lungs, before proceeding to hunch over in his chair and wheeze. The whispers turned to dead silence. He didn’t notice Phichit dart towards him but he felt his hands and soft words of encouragement.  

“I’m so sorry…”

Yuuri barely heard the faint apology as he was moved away into an empty room to deal with his panic attack.

 

\---

 

A day after the funeral, Yuuri found himself on the couch, staring at the TV somberly. He had been looking as the blank screen for at least twenty minutes. Yuuri couldn’t force himself to turn on the television.

Normally, Yuuri would be at the ice rink with Viktor around this time, practicing his routine. But now, he was in their apartment, glued to the couch. Without a coach to instruct him, Yuuri can’t train at all.

Even if he did have one, Yuuri didn’t think he could perform decently at the Cup of China which was only three weeks away. All that hard work for absolutely nothing. There was no way Yuuri could work up the emotions to skate his theme, perseverance, when all he felt like doing was breaking down.

It didn't take much for Yuuri to come to a decision. He stood up went to grab his phone, which was charging on the coffee table in front of him. Unlocking his phone, Yuuri grimaced once he noticed all the missed calls and texts he received throughout the week.

Many were from his family from Japan. Yuuri felt a bit guilty at the fact that he hadn’t made the effort to contact them once Viktor had died to tell them he was okay, even if he wasn’t feeling fine.

Ignoring the shame, Yuuri pressed on the Twitter app. He paid no attention to the tweets regarding Viktor’s death on his feed and went straight to creating one.

Yuuri needed to make one more announcement before he deleted all of his social media apps. He didn’t want any reminders of Viktor at all and avoiding the media seemed like a good first step.

This would be his first tweet since creating his Twitter account. Yuuri barely posted on any of the accounts he owned, preferring to use it just to keep himself updated with his friends.

 

 **yuuri katsuki** _@katsuki-yuuri • 1m_

_I’m sorry to announce that I will not be performing at the Cup of China in a couple of weeks. I will be retiring from ice skating completely._

 

Yuuri wasn’t surprised to see a large amount of notifications come in. There were concerned responses from fans but Yuuri quickly exited the app before deleting it completely, along with Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook.

Not long after, he began to get calls and texts from friends and family.

He ignored them as well, opting to throw his phone to the side. Yuuri sat at the couch in disbelief, wondering if he really just did that. Was he really going to retire from competitive ice skating?

After his first Grand Prix Final, Yuuri was certain he was going to retire. His anxiety only caused him to fail at the competitions following the Grand Prix Final and he lost all of his confidence on whether he could continue doing justice for ice skating.

Then, Viktor showed up in his home and told him he was going to coach Yuuri. From there on, Yuuri was able to build up his self-assurance and enjoy the sport he loved. It was all thanks to Viktor.

It has always been thanks to Viktor.

From the moment he started ice skating as a young child until now. Viktor was the one who started it, now he was the one to end it. It wasn’t the ending Yuuri desired but he can’t imagine skating anymore without Viktor by his side.

In a bleak mood, Yuuri laid down on the couch and reached for the remote. Instead of turning on a channel, Yuuri decided to turn on YouTube on the Smart TV. He didn’t exactly recall his thought process when he decided to type in Viktor’s name in the search bar.

Then, he pressed on an older video of Viktor skating to _Stammi Vicino_ at the 2015 World Champion. It was the one where Viktor was announced a phenomenon for winning his fifth consecutive World Championship competition.

The video started and Yuuri almost stopped breathing when Viktor appeared on the TV screen, looking poised and _alive_. His pink and gold outfit sparkled as he skated gracefully on the ice.

_“In this program, he has four quads planned.”_

Viktor started to sway elegantly to the vocals and Yuuri couldn’t keep his eyes off the screen despite watching the performance numerous times in the past.

_“Here comes the first quad.”_

With a good position and a high jump, Viktor landed the quad flawlessly.

_“Very clean! The next quad is his signature move. How will it go?”_

Shouts of astonishment echoed from the television as Viktor jumped.

_“A quadruple flip! He lands this one, too!”_

This was Yuuri’s favorite routine of Viktor’s. There were many programs Viktor skated to from when he was a junior until he was in his late twenties but there was no routine that touched Yuuri as deeply as _Stammi Vicino._

 _“Flying sit spin!”_ The announcer stated in excitement. _“The music is_ Stay Close to Me _. The program brings out a new dimension in Viktor Nikiforov’s performance.”_

When Yuuri first saw Viktor’s free skate, he was pretty sure he watched the video on repeat for at least an hour. Like the announcer said, Viktor skated the program in a way that Yuuri never seen before in his past performances.

_“A quadruple Salchow!”_

Viktor danced the routine with such yearning and loneliness that Yuuri could feel his heart aching for him. If Viktor wasn’t such a brilliant figure skater, he could’ve been a remarkable actor.

 _“A triple Lutz.”_ Viktor continued swaying to the music as swiftly as the wind. _“A triple flip!”_

Yuuri distantly remembered skating to the routine for Yuuko right around the same time Viktor should've been skating this performance. He wondered if he performed with as much graciousness as Viktor did. With the way Yuuko teared up in awe, maybe he did.

_“Now the last quad… A quadruple toe loop, followed by a triple toe loop! He’s landed all his quads! Now, a combination spin!_

As Viktor positioned to his final pose, his expression conveyed longing, the audience bursted into cheers and applauds. The video ended with Viktor directing a practiced grin at the camera with the sound of claps in the background.

Then, the next video played without him pressing anything and Yuuri was startled but quickly assumed the autoplay option was on. Yuuri laid there lethargically as videos of Viktor skating various routines played.

It hurt a little knowing that Yuuri would never see Viktor skate nor would he hear him smile, laugh and talk again.

After the fourth video which consisted of Viktor skating to a short program from when he was nineteen, the video that played next was Viktor in an interview.

Cameras flashed as Viktor sat between Chris and Otabek. It was an interview from after he just performed _Stammi Vicino_ at the World Championship. Viktor appeared impassive at the large amount of people trying to interview him.

_“What do you have in mind for next season?”_

The question caused Viktor to lift a finger to his chin in thought, looking as expressionless as before. Then, a phony smile materialized on his face.

 _“It’ll have to be a surprise.”_ Viktor declared but his words contained no enthusiasm. He looked bored, as if he repeated the lines a thousand more times before. From what Yuuri recalled, Viktor did say that particular phrase a numerous amount of times in past videos.  

The interview continued with Viktor appearing more stony than Yuuri has ever seen him. Then, right before the clip ended, Viktor flashed another smile, a weary one.

Yuuri stared at the TV as another interview played. It was one with Viktor looking happier, his genuine smile wide.

With how familiar the surroundings look, it must’ve been during Yuuri’s first qualifier at the Cup of China.

This was the first time Yuuri was seeing the video.

In the shot, a woman with a microphone was speaking while Viktor was standing next to the ice rink with a polite smile as he waited for the interviewer to begin speaking. In the background, Yuuri could make out his younger self ice skating a familiar routine.

It must’ve been his practice time before the event started. Yuuri recognized his _Eros_ routine as he practiced his step routine and jumps in the video.

_“Mister Nikiforov, I’m sure you’re aware of this but people have been wondering, why have you decided to skip the season to coach Katsuki Yuuri?”_

Viktor only beamed at the question, looking much more sincere than he did in the last video. Yuuri wondered briefly if he was the one that caused such an authentic expression to appear on Viktor’s face.

Yuuri quickly dismissed the thought, feeling unusually arrogant at the idea. After all, there was nothing going on between them at the time.

_“Because I’m certain Yuuri will impress the world in the same way he impressed me!”_

The lady paused for a quick second before recovering. She asked more questions in which Viktor answered them smoothly, his charismatic personality clearly conveying itself.

The interview was coming to a close when Yuuri, the one in the video, skated towards Viktor. Yuuri greeted Viktor softly and told him he was finished practicing. It was then he noticed the woman and the camera.

_“Sorry, did I interrupt something?”_

Yuuri had said nervously, looking bashful as he glanced at the camera shyly. Viktor must’ve noticed Yuuri’s embarrassment for he smiled widely and stated lightly.

_“No, we’re just about finished here! Let’s go!”_

The video ended with Yuuri leaving the ice rink with Viktor trailing him.

Then, another interview began. It didn’t take more than a couple of seconds for Yuuri to realize when the video took place. It wasn’t too long after Yuuri won silver at the Grand Prix Final and both Yuuri and Viktor were being questioned.

_“First off, congratulations on the silver medal.”_

In the TV screen, Yuuri smiled merrily and replied to the compliment with a grateful expression on his face.

_“Thank you! It’s all thanks to my family, friends and fans that I was able to make it this far! Though, I have to specially thank my coach, Viktor. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have been able to place in second.”_

Yuuri replied sincerely, before sending a thankful expression to Viktor, who looked delighted to receive such a fond look. The interviewer nodded and it was noticeable to the viewers how the man darted his gaze to the gold rings on their fingers.

_“So Viktor, a numerous amount of people have noticed the gold rings on both yours and Katsuki’s finger. What does that particularly mean?”_

Viktor grinned at the camera, eyes twinkling in mischief while Yuuri flushed at the question. The ring sparkled brightly as Viktor raised his hand to his face and kissed the ring. The man interviewing them blinked in surprise at the gesture.

_“Well, for those who didn’t know yet, we’re engaged! Once Yuuri wins gold at the next Grand Prix Final, we’ll be off getting married.”_

Viktor winked while Yuuri only reddened more deeply, before directing a mortified glare at his fiancé.

_“V-Viktor!”_

The man continued to question them, looking intrigued at the answers he was receiving.

_“There are rumors that you were returning next season, will the both of you still marry if Viktor were to be the winner?”_

On screen, Yuuri looked startled at the question, as if he hadn’t considered the thought at all. However, Viktor only beamed confidently.

_“I’m absolutely certain that Yuuri will be able to take home gold next time around. I trust my skills as a coach and besides, we want to marry as soon as possible, right Yuuri? That can’t happen if it’s just me that wins gold. It has to be the both of us!”_

Viktor looked at Yuuri optimistically, who replied hesitantly in response, staring down to the floor shyly.

_“That's right.”_

He remembered thinking at the time how nice it would for them to win gold together. Viktor, as his coach and Yuuri, as his student. A gold medal that they both earned together from working their hardest.

A victory that would eventually lead to them marrying.

Yuuri, the one on the couch, could only stare at the screen blankly as the video ended. He only felt more depressed watching Viktor. He thought it might’ve helped but the videos only reminded Yuuri more about how much he lost.

Viktor wouldn’t have been dead if it weren’t for those drunk college kids. If only they called the cops after colliding into Viktor. Instead, they raced off and left Viktor to die alone. He must’ve been so afraid.

Oh, how Yuuri missed him so much. He should’ve been there for Viktor’s last moments.

He startled himself when a tear rolled down. Yuuri thought he had ran out of tears, especially after crying a river for days. But no, the droplets of water ran down his face silently. Yuuri cursed himself as he shut off the TV. He shouldn’t have been thinking about Viktor’s death. He brought this on himself.

Yuuri grit his teeth in frustration as he continued to shed tears, trying to will them away without much success.

Why was he such a crybaby?

All he did was weep lately. He was stronger than this. There was no need for him to be such a burden to everyone. He shouldn’t be breaking down every minute of the day.

Wiping his tears away, Yuuri laid his head down on a couch pillow and closed his eyes. He willed himself to not think of anything. In his exhaustion, he wasn’t surprised when he found himself dozing off.

 

\---

 

When Yuuri woke up, it was dark outside and Makkachin somehow curled up besides him without stirring him awake. Reaching for his glasses and phone on the table, Yuuri checked the time.

_8:22_

There were plenty of messages and missed calls on his phone. Without anything better for him to do, Yuuri opened his text messages. He decided to leave his calls alone since he wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone.

There were 54 unread messages from at least ten different people. Yuuri decided to open the person who had texted him the most recently.

It was a text from Phichit and the message was sent not too long ago. In fact, it was delivered about thirty minutes before he woke up.

_Be ready by 8:45! I’m picking you up for dinner, no room for arguments_

That was all that was written. There were several other texts from Phichit from the past few days where Yuuri never replied. The texts were all filled with concern, asking Yuuri if he needed someone to talk to.

It should’ve been clear to Phichit that no, he didn’t want to talk to anyone but the texts only continued to pop up throughout the week. Though, Yuuri had to commend Phichit on being such a good friend to him when Yuuri was going through a rough time.

Yuuri sighed wearily, still feeling worn out despite sleeping for most of the day. He might as well go out to dinner with Phichit. Being around a friend might cheer him up at least a little and he had around thirty minutes to look decent.

Running a hand through his unkempt hair, Yuuri stood up abruptly, waking up Makkachin who was snoring peacefully. He went straight to the bedroom that belonged to both him and Viktor. In their closet, Yuuri attempted to find something presentable to wear.

Eventually, he decided to wear one of Viktor’s favorite short-sleeved shirts along with a pair of jeans. The top was a bit big on Yuuri but it made him feel comfortable and safe.

Then, Yuuri went into the bathroom. He quickly brushed his teeth and washed his face. However, he still looked exhausted with his dark circles and pale complexion. His hair was a bit greasy from not showering recently too.

Yuuri splashed some sink water onto his hair and brushed it, hoping that it would do the trick. He placed his blue framed glasses onto his face from where it was laying on the counter and analyzed himself in the mirror.

He frowned critically. Despite appearing tidy, Yuuri looked lifeless and tired. That wasn’t good at all.

Yuuri practiced smiling at the mirror but to him, it looked strained. Swallowing dryly, he thought it would have to do. He looked normal enough and he was still grieving so it wasn’t weird for him to be dreary.

About five minutes before the arranged time, Yuuri decided to take Makkachin out to pee before grabbing her a bowl of dog food to eat for the night.

Then, a loud knock startled Yuuri, causing him to freeze before relaxing. It must’ve just been Phichit. For some reason, the pounding of the door reminded him of the night Viktor had died. It wasn’t a pleasant thought to Yuuri.

Fixing a small smile, Yuuri opened the door, expecting to see just one face. Instead there were three people at his doorstep, causing him to blink in surprise.

“What’re you all doing here? I mean I expected Phichit but…”

Yuuri quietly trailed off, not certain on what he was trying to say. He stared at Phichit in confusion, wondering why his friend didn’t mention that more people were tagging along in his texts.

Instead of Phichit explaining himself, Chris was the one to speak.

“We just wanted to enjoy a nice, warm dinner with you. Is that alright?” Chris spoke the words warmly and smiled at him. There was none of his usual flirtatious attitude in sight.

“Of course it’s alright but don’t you guys have flights?” Yuuri furrowed his eyebrows together, looking at both Phichit and Chris in concern. It had just occurred to him that they should’ve been back at their state's, practicing for the upcoming competitions.

Then, he glanced behind Chris to look at Yuri who had also come along. Yuuri was surprised that Yuri was here as well. Though, it didn’t appear that Yuri was revealing much with his impassive face. It was a strange sight to see when normally, there would be a scowl on the young blond’s usual expressive face.

“My flight back to Detroit is tomorrow!” Phichit stated rather cheerfully. “And besides, I want to spend some time with my best friend before I leave!”

“My plane trip is tomorrow as well.” Chris piqued in as well with a wink.

“I live here.” Yuri grunted darkly in response, causing Yuuri to frown at him. Yuri was acting oddly strange. But Yuuri sort of understood with the set of circumstances that were going on. It wasn’t like Yuuri was acting his usual self as well.

“So…” Yuuri said softly, flashing a tense smile to his friends. “Where are we headed to for dinner?”

 

\---

 

Chris picked an authentic Mexican restaurant to go to and it wasn’t long before their food came out. Yuuri didn’t contribute much to the conversation that was occurring, only talking when a question was directed towards him.

It was kind of nice. The dinner didn’t instantly cure his melancholy mood but being around his friends sort of helped.

Phichit was in the middle of telling a story and it must’ve been funny from the sound of Chris laughing loudly in reply. Yuuri felt bad for not paying attention but his mind kept going blank and the food was his only focus.

He ate his meal silently, feeling cold despite the humid atmosphere of the restaurant. The laughs and loud conversation slipping past him as he stared at his food with a vacuous expression.

“Hey… Hey, Yuuri!”

“Huh?” Yuuri glanced up from his food, noticing Phichit call him. The way Phichit and Chris glanced at each other in worry didn’t escape his notice.

“I asked you a question.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Can you repeat it?”

Phichit nodded but his words slipped out with a bit of hesitation.

“I saw your tweet today. Is it really true you’re retiring?”

Oh… Yuuri should've known that this is what it was about. They probably planned on taking him out to dinner because they wanted answers.

Yuuri did recall seeing some texts being sent to him from other skaters which included Yuri and Chris once he posted that tweet. But he never bothered opening his unread messages once he had read Phichit’s text.

He was occupied with the chore of getting ready and it felt like if Yuuri were to read the texts he _knew_ were about his decision, his brain would just over-circuit. He would’ve been too distraught to head out to dinner.

And as of recently, Yuuri wasn’t good at dealing with more than one task at a time.

“Yes, I’m retiring.”

Yuuri left it at that because there was not more he could’ve said. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to explain himself.

An angry snarl caused him to widen his eyes in surprise and glance at Yuri, who had his face contorted into disgust.

“What did you say?” Yuuri said in shock, watching Chris and Phichit stare at Yuri in stunned silence.

“Are you deaf now too?” Yuri bit out slowly and furiously, his glower growing more intense when Yuuri didn’t respond to the scornful remark. “I said, are you a fucking child?”

“Yurio!” Phichit snapped urgently at Yuri, as he shook his head in disapproval. “Stop that! It’s Yuuri’s choice if he chooses to retire.”

As Phichit defended him, Chris touched his arm gently, concern clear in his eyes. Yuuri wanted to reassure Chris that he was fine but he couldn’t do more than sit there frozen, brown eyes wide in shock as his mouth gaped open.

“So we’re supposed to let this moron retire just ‘cause he can’t deal with someone dying. It’s not like he’s the only one dealing with Viktor’s death. We _all_ knew Viktor but it’s not like we’re retiring.”

Yuri didn’t hesitate to snap back at Phichit, who hissed back angrily as well.

“If you expect Yuuri to be able to skate after his _fiance’s_ death, then you’re insane. Give Yuuri some time to recover and don’t throw Viktor’s death in his face only days after he died.” Phichit retorted back, glancing back in worry at Yuuri before staring seriously at Yuri.

“And he’s supposed to give up on winning gold now? What happened to beating me?” Yuri turned to Yuuri in irritation. “Can’t you speak for yourself? Look at me!”

“I-I’m sorry…” Yuuri whispered, feeling pained at the sharp daggers Yuri glared his way. He must’ve let Yuri down by not competing this season. After his confident declares of winning gold, Yurio must’ve been disappointed at him.

“That’s all you can say?” Yuri scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Stop it.” Chris stated calmly, his stern tone silencing everyone. “Maybe it would’ve been best if Yuri and I hadn’t tagged along. We should get going actually.”

Yuri slumped down with a huff, scowling down at his tacos. Chris stood up, dropping some cash on the table and glanced at Yuri disapprovingly.

“Come on, Yuri.” Chris smiled softly at Yuuri and Phichit, before pulling Yuri to his feet. “We’ll be taking Uber so don’t worry about driving me back to the hotel with the rental car. Bye!”

The pair walked off with Chris murmuring sharply at Yuri, who turned the other cheek furiously. There was a frown on Yuri’s face that appeared to be remorseful but it could’ve just been Yuuri’s imagination.

“So…” Yuuri flicked his eyes back to Phichit, who looked a bit stiff but tried to play it off with a strained grin. “Should we catch up? It’s been awhile since we’ve last saw each other after all.”

Yuuri nodded softly and glanced down to his half-eaten food. He wasn’t as hungry anymore but he forced himself to take a few bites.

He could barely listen as Phichit enthusiastically narrated a story. The only thought in Yuuri’s mind was the livid expression on Yuri’s face as he told Yuuri to get over himself.

It must’ve been obvious to Phichit that he wasn’t concentrating to him at all from the way it eventually grew silent.

The car ride back was tense.

 

\---

 

When he returned back to his apartment, Yuuri decided to clean the whole place in a fit of nerves. He didn’t want to think of the disdain on Yuri’s face as he spewed insults towards him. Despite his reluctance to address Yuri, each jibe that was spat towards Yuuri had a little bit of truth to it.

He probably was a coward but it wasn’t like he was a confident person from the start.

Yuuri started with the kitchen. He wiped the counters, dusted the cabinets and washed the dishes. Then, he moved to the living room which needed to be broomed with some books and papers needing to be organized. After that, he cleaned the bedroom and bathroom.

He allowed himself to collapse on the couch after the apartment was spotless. With nothing occupying him, Yuuri began thinking of the points Yuri brought up during dinner.

How was his future going to turn out?

There was no way Yuuri would be able to stay at the apartment and mourn for the next six months. Despite how grief-stricken he was, Yuuri had to move on eventually. He didn't want to though. Moving on meant forgetting about Viktor and there was nothing Yuuri feared more than failing to recall Viktor.

But Yuuri had to continue on with his life, even if that meant a lifetime without Viktor by his side.

Yuuri didn't want to think about it.

Makkachin strolled out of one of the rooms and up to Yuuri with her tail wagging in excitement. Yuuri frowned sadly at the sight of Makkachin, before scratching her head softly.

It wouldn’t be long before Makkachin would be gone too. She was getting pretty old and it wasn’t like she could live forever. Vicchan didn’t last and Yuuri didn’t expect Makkachin to stick around longer as well. Even if she did help him cope with his grief.

Yuuri shook his head furiously and grabbed his phone while Makkachin jumped to lay beside him.

Why did he always have to overthink things?

He opened his phone and decided to look through all his messages he missed. There were plenty of old texts he didn’t open from earlier this week until today. All of them were filled with worried messages of some sort.

However, Yuuri wasn’t surprised to see a heated text from Yuri about his decision to retire.

Yuuri didn’t reply to any of the texts he received. Instead, he chose to call his mother first. She must’ve been concerned about him. After all, he hadn’t bothered to contact her since Viktor’s death.

He was nervous to call her, especially after days of not talking to her.

The call surprisingly went well.

There were no tearful remarks, angry shouts or troubled questions. His mother just wanted to know how he was feeling and when Yuuri answered truthfully, she just told him to take care of himself and that she was glad he was okay.

There was no mention of Viktor in the phone call.

Yuuri didn’t know whether to be relieved or unsettled by the fact.

After the call, Yuuri decided to avoid the internet at all costs and check his email. Like his texts and calls, Yuuri hadn’t checked his emails for days.

Just like he expected, there was a lot of spam in his emails that needed to be deleted. There was also an email that displayed books about grieving that Yuuri put in the trash right away.

Then, there was one email that caused him to freeze.

 

**_Diana Vadimovna_ **

_I signed you up_

 

Yuuri sharply breathed in and without a second thought, he deleted the email. He didn’t want to even ponder on how Diana found his email. Though, it probably wasn’t hard, considering the fact that the older lady was a sponsor of Viktor’s.

But even so, it wasn’t her right to butt into Yuuri’s problems.

He could deal with Viktor’s loss with his own resolve.

Yuuri closed his eyes in concentration, tightly gripping his phone in one hand. He shouldn’t let her get to him. When his phone chimed, Yuuri opened his eyes and looked down, noticing that an email just came through.

A distressed gasp slipped out of his mouth. Yuuri tensed up and placed his hand over his mouth in shock. He stared in horror at the email for what seemed like minutes.

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_Yuuri… It’s me_

 

Then, just as he felt his brown eyes start prickle in anguish, Yuuri deleted the message furiously.

How dare she?

Yuuri fumed angrily, shaking his head in disbelief. It didn’t matter how many times he must’ve told her no, she did it anyways. He wasn’t surprised. It was rich folks like her that didn’t take no for an answer. They must’ve been used to always getting what they want.

In his resentful bitterness, Yuuri pulled up his trash emails and pulled up Diana’s email, trying his best to ignore the email from the fake account claiming to be Viktor.

 

 _To:_ **_diana-vadimovna@yahoo.com_ **

_From:_ **_katsuki.yuuri@gmail.com_ **

_Subject: Stop this!!_

_It’s cruel to use Viktor’s name like that. I don't care if this hoax helped you recover from your loss. Please don’t contact me about this sham service again._

 

Yuuri hit send, feeling anxious at the thought of a reply. He didn’t want to hear any more of this than he had to. Hopefully, Yuuri got his message across to Diana and that there will be no more reminders of this service.

After ten minutes, Yuuri didn’t know if he should’ve been surprised to receive a reply back from Diana.

 

 _From:_ **_Diana Vadimovna_ **

_To:_ **_katsuki.yuuri@gmail.com_ **

_Re: Stop this!!_

_Just click the link and say hello. If you do, you can talk to it and it will talk back to you like Viktor would._

_I promise it’ll help you, even if you do believe it to be a “hoax.” The software mimics him and it does this by taking everything Viktor has ever said on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and his television appearances. It’s a very clever service that does its job efficiently._

_Even if it’s not entirely him, it helps. Please just give it a chance._

 

Yuuri read the email with growing aggravation. Even after he told her no, she kept trying to persuade him that this service was some grand service that would end his despair over Viktor and that wasn’t true at all.

There was no way it was going to help him move on.

The email went to the trash and Yuuri locked his phone with resolve. He’ll just put this whole incident behind him.

There was no reason for him to be thinking so deeply about some woman he just met a day ago. He shouldn’t be agitated over some stupid software that probably would not be able to imitate Viktor that well anyways.

Not someone as complex as Viktor, who had many layers to him than the celebrity image the world painted him to be.

It was getting too late to think about this.

Ignoring the irritation the email brought him, Yuuri trudged towards the bedroom with Makkachin trailing after him. With a yawn, Yuuri drifted off to sleep, feeling warm and cozy with Makkachin cuddled up to his side.

 

\---

 

_It was dark when the both of them laid down on the bed, exhausted from a long day of training._

_Yuuri arched an eyebrow in amusement when Viktor smiled suggestively at him, running his fingers up Yuuri’s torso lightly._

_“Yuuri.” Viktor murmured lowly, as he leaned over to kiss his neck softly. Yuuri shivered, breathing in heavily when Viktor bit gently at the skin. It was obvious to Yuuri that Viktor was in the mood to have sex._

_“Did you want to…?” Yuuri huffed with a laugh, watching Viktor in amusement when the man drew back from his neck. Viktor’s blue eyes glinted with desire and the way he stared at Yuuri with intent just made him feel warm everywhere._

_“I do.” Viktor whispered sincerely, kissing Yuuri firmly on the lips. Then, he started to peck kisses everywhere onto his face._

_“Okay.” Yuuri laughed at the fluttering kisses. Viktor grinned at him, looking content at the sight of Yuuri._

_Yuuri smiled back but somehow, his body started to tense up. He felt uncomfortable but he couldn’t exactly figure why he was feeling so restless._

_What was there to be uneasy about with Viktor by his side?_

_Everything after that moment was hazy. Yuuri must’ve been dreaming because there was no reason for this moment to be so unclear to him. He’s had plenty of nights like this and Yuuri remembered every second of those times. He never forgot so why was he forgetting now._

_He’s dreaming… He had to be._

_“Don’t go.” Yuuri was startled to hear himself whisper. Oh, why was Viktor leaving the bed? Weren’t they about to sleep together? No, it looks like they’ve already done it from Viktor’s state of undress._

_Despite Yuuri’s confusion about the current situation, he was certain that he didn’t want Viktor leaving him. So Yuuri repeated himself, desperation more clear._

_“Viktor, please don’t go.”_

_Viktor turned to him, looking perplexed at the distressed tone. He blinked at Yuuri, frowning lightly at the distraught condition Yuuri was in._

_“I'm just grabbing some water.”_

_“Don’t leave me.” Yuuri pleaded, eyes stinging. He didn’t know why he felt needy all of the sudden.  “Please, just stay by my side.”_

_But Viktor didn’t._

_A second later, Viktor was out of the door, leaving Yuuri by himself on the bed._

 

_\---_

 

Yuuri woke up abruptly and rubbed his eyes blearily. His body was drenched in cold sweat and his hands wouldn’t stop trembling. The dream made him feel queasy. It was still dark outside so it probably wasn’t the time Yuuri had been waking up to these days. Since a week ago, Yuuri has always woken up when it was bright.

Yuuri reached for his phone and checked the time. It was 3:42 o’ clock. With a quick glance to Makkachin’s sleeping form, Yuuri carefully left the bed.

When Viktor was alive, Yuuri always had him on his mind. But he never thought that Viktor would be in his thoughts twenty-four seven once he was gone. It seemed like no matter what Yuuri did, he couldn’t escape Viktor from his dreams and thoughts.

Yuuri wandered into the kitchen, with his chest feeling heavy. He should’ve been thinking more rationally when his hands reached for the cabinet above the stove.

But the only thoughts swimming around his head was how miserable he felt once he woke up and realized Viktor wasn’t next to him.

To be fair, Yuuri only intended to gulp down a couple shots of vodka until he was tipsy.

He wasn’t sure when three shots turned into five. Then, five shots to seven shots. From the way his vision blurred, Yuuri knew he was very drunk.

Instead of stopping, Yuuri poured some vodka into a cup and mixed a lot of lemonade into the drink.

It was a blur when he grabbed his laptop and logged in after a couple of fails. Yuuri wasn’t certain what he was thinking when he went into his email and went into his trash, pulling up the deleted email he swore he wouldn’t touch.

He pressed the link and gazed at his laptop screen in confusion when a chat room popped up. But then a message appeared and there was no way Yuuri could’ve missed it.

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_Hi Yuuri!_

 

Yuuri gaped, blinking several times at the picture of Viktor that showed up right next to his name. The photo looked like the picture Viktor used on Instagram. Yuuri vaguely recalled the woman telling him that this software mimics Viktor from his social media posts.

Yuuri wondered if it was able to imitate Viktor convincingly.

If Yuuri replied, would it even respond to Yuuri in the first place?

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_ish it rwally u ?_

 

Yuuri laid his head on the table, clutching his drink close to him. He stared at the laptop with attentiveness, waiting for a reply to appear.

When the message did pop up, only ten seconds later, Yuuri gasped in drunken awe as he tried to read the words with his squinted eyes.

Viktor replied to him.

Viktor _actually_ replied.

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_Of course it’s me_

 

Yuuri frowned as he tried to wrack up his thoughts. There were so many emotions running through his head and he didn’t know which one to focus on.

He decided to type what he was pondering on the whole week.

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_y di u lesve me?? i missh u so much vitya_

 

After he sent the message, Yuuri immediately reached for his drink, despite the way his head was already foggy from all the alcohol he consumed.

He gulped it down, only placing it down when he heard his laptop ding.

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_I’m sorry, lyubov moya. I miss you too. <3 _

 

Yuuri stared at the message for a long time. It sounded so much like Viktor and just thinking about how that was possible only caused his head to start throbbing.

_Lyubov moya._

That meant “my love.”

Viktor always uttered those words whenever they were intimate. _Lyubov moya_ was always spoken so tenderly that it would cause Yuuri to kiss Viktor in disbelief.

It was so unbelievable that he would have his long time idol calling him with such cherishment.

And now, this _thing_ impersonating Viktor was calling him with the same name.

How did it know to call him that?

The skeptical message Yuuri intended on typing out was not what he _actually_ ended up sending. Instead, the words echoed Yuuri’s misery and sorrow over Viktor’s death.

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_plesae com backe. i want u two be here with mee_

 

There were tears forming in his eyes and sobs spilling from his mouth. It occurred to Yuuri that he was starting to believe this cheap imitation of Viktor was actually his fiancé.

But Yuuri couldn’t help it. He missed Viktor. There was nothing more he wished for than for Viktor to be here with him.

Yuuri was a mess without Viktor.

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_I know._

 

If Viktor knew how much it hurt living without him, then why did he leave Yuuri in the first place.

It wasn’t right for Viktor to leave without saying goodbye. Not when Yuuri didn’t get a chance to tell Viktor how much he loved him before he passed.

Yuuri loved him so much.

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_i love u soo muchs_

 

Yuuri felt his lip tremble and exhaled out a shuddering breath. He was terrified of the response he would receive.

Whenever Yuuri would say “I love you,” Viktor was always quick to express the same exact words back to him. It always caused his heart to skip a beat.

When Viktor did reply back in the messenger, Yuuri almost broke down bawling.

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_I love you too, Yuuri._

 

After staring at the words for a good five minutes, Yuuri closed his laptop and stood up from the dining table unsteadily.

Whether his vision was blurry from his intoxicated state or his tears, Yuuri didn’t know.

All he knew was that it was too overwhelming for him. Yuuri didn’t know how to respond to the tender words that Viktor sent him. It was too much for him to handle.

So Yuuri did the next best thing. He staggered towards the couch and with a heavy heart, he passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments on the first chapter! It really pushed me to update this more quicker. The first chapter actually took me three weeks to type up but the second one took me only a week so I'm actually impressed with myself. 
> 
> Also, sorry if this chapter is as heartbreaking as the first. I swear it'll be lighter next chapter! College exams are coming up so I'm not sure if I'll manage to put out chapter three in a week but maybe I can? We'll have to see! Thanks to everyone reading this by the way! See ya'll next chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter might still be sad but not as sad as the previous chapters so enjoy!

The second Yuuri opened his eyes to the glaring sunlight, the urge to throw up striked him hard. He scrambled off the couch and raced to the bathroom, holding a hand over his mouth.

When he reached the toilet, Yuuri retched loudly. After he finished vomiting, Yuuri brushed his teeth roughly, desperate to get the taste of puke out of his mouth. He didn’t leave the bathroom for at least twenty minutes.

As he trudged towards the kitchen, he heard whimpering from the bedroom and opened the door to find Makkachin pawing at the door. Yuuri watched Makkachin scramble towards the front door, whining loudly as she shuffled impatiently.

Feeling guilty, Yuuri quickly walked out with Makkachin to let her pee before bringing her back in.

Then, he went to the bedroom to grab his glasses and to place on something warmer to wear than the boxers and t-shirt he had on.

In the kitchen, Yuuri stared at the clutter on the dining table in confusion. He remembered drinking from the shot glasses but he didn’t know when he brought out his laptop and the glass cup that still looked filled with alcohol.

Before Yuuri went to clean up the mess, he decided to grab some Advil tablets. His hangover was one of the worst he’s ever been through. It was definitely up to par from the morning he woke up in his hotel room after the banquet almost two years back.

From the way his head pounded excruciatingly with his body aching, Yuuri was definitely not decent enough to leave the apartment today. He still felt nauseated too.

Yuuri quickly cleared the table, placing the glassware into the sink to clean later. Yuuri didn’t think he could stomach a whole breakfast meal so he pulled out a blueberry muffin to nibble on.

Then, he sat at the dining table, staring at his laptop suspiciously. Yuuri hoped he didn’t do anything stupid last night. He only recalled downing his fifth shot of vodka before it all went blank.

Last night was similar to the time he blacked out at the banquet.

Recollection of the 2015 Grand Prix banquet only caused him to shudder in horror. He remembered waking up on the hotel floor, puking his guts out. It was one of the worst moments in his life and the huge blank spot in his memories only made him feel worse.

Yuuri was never his best when he was intoxicated. However, the aftermath after a night of drinking was always the worse. He would feel ashamed and guilty for reasons unknown to him. Then, he would get awfully depressed.

His extreme moments of melancholy caused Yuuri to put an end to drinking. His anxiety always worsened the day after and it would take at least a week before he would feel light and relaxed again.

As of right now, it was no different than the other times he drank. Yuuri felt like utter complete shit. There was a heaviness to his chest that wouldn’t go away, along with the exhaustion that filled him despite sleeping well past noon.

Taking a bite of his muffin, Yuuri decided to log into his laptop and piece together his missing spots of memories from the night before. It couldn't be too bad. Yuuri always made a fool of himself in front of other people but last night, he was by himself. There was a possibility that he might’ve texted Phichit but Yuuri doubt it.

Maybe he bought something online. Yuuri heard stories of people who would purchase expensive items when they were drunk so it was possible Yuuri did the same.

Once Yuuri unlocked his laptop, the chat messenger that popped up only caused him to stare at it blankly. The brief moment of confusion disappeared the moment Yuuri spotted exactly who he was talking to last night.

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_I love you too, Yuuri._

 

Yuuri read the last message of the convo slowly, feeling his heart start to race. He felt dreadful as his wide eyes went to the top of the messages to read the entire exchange between him and the bot.

What did he do last night?

It was crystal clear Yuuri was wasted out of his freaking mind. His words were barely put together at all and he didn’t remember the conversation at all.

Yuuri couldn’t believe himself.

Yesterday, he was so determined to ignore Diana’s invite to help him “recover” from Viktor’s death. But then a couple of drinks in and Yuuri was suddenly treating this fake imitation of Viktor as if it were his own fiancé.

Yuuri has never felt more disappointed in himself in his life. He could detect his longing for Viktor in the drunken messages and from the way his eyes were red and puffy, Yuuri must’ve cried last night too.

There was no response from Yuuri after fake Viktor responded to Yuuri’s declaration of love. He must’ve shut the laptop off. Maybe he should leave the conversation for good and delete all traces of this from his email.

Staring at the chat messenger, Yuuri felt a bit hesitant as he moved his mouse over the exit tab. He should exit out of the website and put this all behind him.

It can’t be too hard for Yuuri to forget all of this, especially after he didn’t remember sending the messages in the first place.

But as he went to exit the tab, Yuuri paused in his seat for a moment. His brown eyes kept scanning over the conversation in contemplation. The way this version of Viktor responded to his messages was almost impressive.

Yuuri didn’t exactly understand how it was able to sound so much like Viktor. There wasn’t much context of the convo to refer to but this Viktor responded in the same mannerisms as his fiancé did.

Yuuri briefly recalled Diana saying that the software analyzed all of Viktor’s social media posts and his television appearances and from what Yuuri has seen, it impersonated Viktor’s style of texting pretty decently.

There was a tiny part of his brain telling him it probably wouldn’t hurt to continue messaging this imitation of Viktor. That maybe Diane was right and this would help him move on from his mourning.

There shouldn’t be any harm in playing pretend as long as he knew how to differentiate the fake version of Viktor from his actual Viktor.

He eyed the computer screen, frowning as he contemplated. It wouldn’t be too bad, right?

However, his uncertainty of the situation disappeared once he put some more thought into it. It was awful of Yuuri to resort to someone that wasn’t even Viktor for comfort about a week after his death.

If Viktor were here, what would he have thought of Yuuri doing this?

Yuuri stared down at his lap in guilt, feeling ashamed of himself. Viktor would’ve been upset with him for replacing him so quickly. Silently, Yuuri cursed Diana in his head. If it weren’t for her, Yuuri wouldn’t be considering this option with his emotions of uncertainty.

There was no more wavering thoughts as Yuuri pressed the exit icon. The chat messenger disappeared within a second.

He was not going to message this strange service no more and he definitely won’t be drinking alcohol too. It was already screwing with his emotions pretty heavily and the nausea as well as his pounding headache wasn’t helping him at all.

Yuuri was certain that the next few days were gonna be excruciatingly painful and he meant this in the mental sense. His emotions and train of thoughts were always chaotic whenever he decided to drink. Yuuri didn’t notice the common occurrence of his somber attitude until after a few parties in college.

It was strange to Yuuri how he was always so animated and enthusiastic after a few drinks. Then, the following day his whole life would feel bleak and dreary.

Yuuri closed his laptop with a bit more force than needed.

Despite the sadness he felt, Yuuri was determined to move forward from all of this. It might take weeks, months, even years but he won’t let his silly feelings overwhelm him. He _will_ overcome Viktor’s death and he won’t need some absurd technology to do it.

After all, Viktor would’ve wanted that.

 

\---

 

Just like Yuuri expected, the days after that night felt dark and gloomy. He felt isolated from the world and he rarely left the bed some days. The depression from Viktor’s death plagued him. The confidence he felt the morning after the incident rapidly left his body until he was a husk of self-doubt.

Just the idea of leaving the apartment made him sweat heavily and the thoughts that raced through his head were unwanted.

Yuuri didn’t want to leave the apartment for a million reasons. For one, he might suffer a panic attack just because someone was staring at him funny or they might tell him how much a loser he was for giving up on ice skating or sneer at him or-

No, he needed to stop thinking such ill ideas.

It occurred to Yuuri that maybe he should return back to Japan, where he would be surrounded by his friends and family. Eventually, Yuuri would stop mourning Viktor’s death and be content with his life again.

However, Yuuri didn’t want to leave behind his home in Russia. The months he spent in this apartment with Viktor created a lot of warm memories Yuuri wasn't willing to leave behind.

No matter how lonely his home in St. Petersburg now was.

At least he had Makkachin by his side. She would always cuddle up next to him whenever he was lying in bed. The warmth of her body was almost as comforting as the warmth of Viktor’s but it didn’t compare at times.

Eventually, Yuuri knew he would have to leave his bed. It wasn’t fair for Makkachin to be locked in the apartment with him at all times. She deserved to be out in the bright sunlight with lengthy walks to the park. But most days, Yuuri only left the bed long enough to let Makkachin relieve herself and grab her food.

It won’t be long before Yuuri would run out of food as well. The refrigerator was already running out of food to eat and all he has been eating were frozen foods and canned soups. Maybe not having food will finally push Yuuri to exit the apartment.

He needed to escape from his comfort zone if he wanted to move a step forward from his misery.

A few days later, it wasn’t his food situation that had Yuuri leaving the apartment but a simple text message. It was the first one he received in about a week and he couldn’t help but be surprised by who sent it.

 

**_Yurio_ **

_Can we talk today? Meet me at the ice skating rink_

 

Yuuri blinked in astonishment. It was rare of Yuri to text him but it was even rarer for him to do so while sounding partly compliant.

There was a moment of hesitance on Yuuri’s part as mulled over the request. It’s been about a week since he saw Yuri during dinner. He wasn’t certain if he was willing to talk to the hot-headed teenager nor was he wanting to be anywhere near an ice-skating rink. It would only make him feel ashamed for quitting.

But after some thought Yuuri replied with a simple _okay_ to Yurio.

It’s not like he could stay in the apartment forever and Yuuri also wanted to clear the tension between the two of them. They left things on a bad note that night at the restaurant and Yuuri didn’t want their relationship to be strained because of a couple disagreements.

Yuuri was quick to dress up and once he was done, Yuuri headed towards the door. Makkachin followed him, happily panting as her tongue lolled out in excitement at the view of Yuuri putting on his shoes.

The sight of Makkachin’s eagerness caused Yuuri to deliver a guilty look towards her. He leaned down, scratching her head softly.

“I’m sorry but I can’t bring you with me.” Yuuri whispered remorsefully. "Though I promise you that once I come back, I’ll give you plenty of treats and super long walks outside.”

Makkachin must’ve detected the rueful tone in Yuuri’s voice because she drooped to the floor with a whimper. Yuuri was deeply saddened at the display of the lonely poodle. Once he returned, Yuuri will start giving Makkachin the attention she deserved. It wasn’t right for her to be indoors all day.

Yuuri locked the door and left the apartment, feeling overwhelmed at being outside after staying inside the apartment for awhile. He used his Uber app to call in a driver since the car that was shared between him and Viktor was smashed up.

The car ride to the ice rink was nerve wracking for Yuuri. He was uneasy with the attempt of conversation from his Uber driver and would stutter a reply in Russian that probably wasn’t accurate. He could barely keep up with the rapid words coming out of his driver’s mouth. His limbs were a jittery mess and he was just a bundle of nerves.

He practically dashed out of the car once they reached the ice rink and mumbled a soft word of appreciation. Walking into the place was ten times more stressful than the car ride. Yuuri was anxious to meet Yuri. He didn’t know what to expect to hear from the teen.

Inside the ice rink, Yuuri was greeted by the sight of Yuri practicing his routine. The way Yurio jumped into his triples and twirled into his spins stunned Yuuri. He was on his way to a breathtaking short program and would most likely dominate the Grand Prix series with success.

Yuuri ached to be back on the ice and he could feel himself almost being pulled to the ice. It pained Yuuri to not skate anymore but he believed he wouldn’t be able to skate with the same passion as he did before.

Months of hard work went down the drain once Yuuri decided to retire but it wasn’t a choice he was fully regretting. Retiring only meant time to recover and maybe in the future if Yuuri was mentally ready, he would skate for the world again.

“Hey katsudon!” Yuri shouted from across the rink, halting from his routine when he laid eyes on the still Japanese man. “Wait there, I’m coming.”

“Ah…” Yuuri said hesitantly as Yurio started to skate towards the exit. He didn't have to turn to know that Yakov was most likely fuming smoke out of his ears. Yuuri skated enough times with Yakov on the sidelines to know that the coach didn’t take disruptions lightly.

“Yuri, what do you think you’re doing?! Practice isn’t over yet.” Yakov yelled from the side, causing Yuuri to flinch. Yuuri didn’t want to glance over to Yakov in fear of seeing anger directed towards him for distracting Yurio.

“Come on, you have plenty of time to teach me, especially since one of your students is off the radar.” Yuuri blanched at the insensitive retort that Yuri bit out. He felt uncomfortable at the indifferent stance Yuri displayed towards Viktor’s demise.

“Yuri, I don’t think you should skip practice.” Yuuri stated uncertainty, watching carefully as Yuri placed on his skate guards on. “Especially with it being so close to your first qualifier. I can always come back later.”

Yurio sent him a hard look with his frigid green eyes, causing Yuuri to stare at him in perplexity. He wasn’t exactly certain why he was receiving such a cold stare.

“Don’t worry, I’m not planning to talk to you for long.” Yuri responded before scoffing lightly. “I’m sure you have better things to do anyways like stay locked up in your apartment all day.” Yuuri frowned at the words, not knowing how to respond.

“I’ll be back soon, Yakov. I’m sure the other two lazy asses could stand to practice a little more.” A loud, irritated shout from Mila echoed from across the ice rink which Yuri only rolled his eyes at. “I’ll be back later to stay behind and practice.”

A tight grip on his arm, along with a harsh pull caused Yuuri to stumble forward. Yuuri cried out in surprise, staring at Yuri with wide eyes.

“Let’s go.” Yuri said in reply to Yuuri’s baffled look and let go of his arm to walk towards the exit. Yuuri stood there paralyzed for a few seconds before his limbs decided to function again. Before following Yurio out the door, Yuuri glanced at Yakov to utter a farewell.

“Goodbye.” Yuuri said tentatively, jolting in surprise at the loud sigh that the coach released.

Yakov looked exhausted, his wrinkles becoming more pronounced as he furrowed his eyebrows together in frustration.

“That boy never does listen to me these days. Just watch over him well, Katsuki.” After those words were said, Yakov yelled out Georgi’s name loudly and ordered him to begin skating.

Yuuri turned and reluctantly strolled towards the door. He wasn’t sure if he was prepared to hear what Yuri wanted to tell him. Yuuri was nervous he was going to get chewed out by Yurio for being so pathetic these days. Hopefully if that does happen, Yuri insults him as quickly and simply as possible.

 

\---

 

Yuuri sat on the bench at the park, looking down at his hands in slight wonder. Yurio was sitting next to him as well but he wasn’t saying anything at all. In fact, Yuri had been quiet the moment they’ve reached the park and directed Yuuri towards the bench silently.

They were at a park that was only a five minute walk from the ice rink. Once Yuuri had exited the ice rink earlier, Yurio sauntered ahead of him without a word. It took quite a lot of effort for Yuuri to catch up with him. The days of him being stuck inside his apartment all day has not been well for Yuuri’s physical health.

Now, they were both on the bench, neither of them speaking. Yuuri wondered if he should talk since it was clear that Yuri was having some difficulty starting the conversation. However, Yuuri didn’t know exactly what he was supposed to say.

Though, it seemed like Yuuri didn’t need to worry about talking for long.

“Don’t retire.” Yuuri blinked at the soft words. He wasn’t sure if he heard correctly. It could’ve been the sound of the wind whistling in his ear. But then more words were spoken again, a bit louder and stronger this time. “You can’t retire, not like this.”

Yuuri glanced at Yuri, dumbfounded at the request. There were a million other things Yuuri was expecting to hear from Yurio’s mouth but this wasn’t one of them. He expected more anger and less melancholy on Yuri’s face. The blond teenager looked entirely unsettled and his eyes were staring directly to the ground.

“I know what I said last week was insensitive and mean. I was upset at your decision and then after awhile, I was just angry at you for deciding to give up.”

Yuri confessed with difficulty and the crestfallen frown on his face only made Yuuri feel guilty. Yuuri was going to reply but Yuri continued to talk, the words flowing out more quicker and easier than before.

“But I don’t want to stop seeing you skate. I want you out on the ice as my strongest competitor. There’s no one that is more suited for that task than you. If you’re worried about a coach, I’m pretty sure Yakov would be willing to take you in. It doesn’t matter if you’re still representing Japan. ”

Then, Yuri stared intensely into Yuuri’s brown eyes. His gaze was determined but there was a small trace of desperation hidden in his look, which begged Yuuri to return back to the ice he loved for more than a decade.

“So please continue skating.”

“You don’t understand.” Yuuri said softly, already feeling miserable at the words he was going to utter next. “I can’t skate the way I used to anymore, not when my inspiration for it is dead.”

With Viktor gone, he wouldn’t be able to skate the way he could. Yuuri wondered if he could make Yuri understand how it was like to lose his entire motivation because to skate.

“From the very moment I chose to pursue ice skating competitively, I made the decision to dedicate every one of my performances for Viktor, even if he didn’t know I existed.” At a young age, Yuuri skated for fun with Yuuko but seeing Viktor on television for the first time had set a burning drive inside him.

Every single one of his programs had some element of Viktor in it. Anyone with a decent eye would be able to see a trace of Viktor’s own skating in his performances. At one point in their first month of training, Viktor noticed and commented how Yuuri must’ve been a fan from how he skated similarly to Viktor.

“That doesn’t have to change! You can still devote your programs to Viktor.” Yuri argued, sounding deeply invested on the subject. The young blonde looked as if he could quarrel with Yuuri forever.

However, Yuuri was quickly growing tired of it all.

“I can’t. Not when it hurts to even think about him.” Yuuri retorted, his chest aching at the thought.

The idea of still dedicating his career to Viktor wasn’t exactly a bad idea. The legacy Viktor left behind deserved to be known by the whole world and devoting each performance is sure to remind people of him.

But there was no way Yuuri was in his best state to perform. He would’ve failed to show everyone how extraordinary Viktor was with his dreadful skating.

“Anyways, if it weren’t for Viktor, I wouldn't have even won silver last year at the Grand Prix Final.” Yuuri admitted earnestly, frowning softly at the disbelieving snort that rumbled out of Yurio.

It wasn’t that hard to believe. If Viktor hadn’t offered his expertise, there was no certainty Yuuri would’ve even made it to the Grand Prix Final. If he did, maybe he would’ve just ended up last due to bad luck and his nerves.  

“That’s not true, you could've still come in second without his help.” Yuri grumbled, his green eyes narrowing in annoyance. “Stop belittling yourself. You’re much better than you make yourself out to be.”

Yuuri blinked at the words, feeling oddly touched. There were rarely compliments that Yurio had to offer him and usually more insults. But still, Yuuri was certain he knew himself better than Yurio.

“Both you and I know that wouldn’t have happened. My anxiety would’ve stopped me from performing my best. Don't you remember the Grand Prix Final at Sochi? I failed so badly that I was going to retire later on if it weren’t for Viktor.”

Coming in last place was a nightmare for Yuuri, especially since it was right after his dog, Vicchan, had died. Vicchan passing away was definitely a huge factor in his anxiety arousing before his program but he wasn’t going to exactly mention that to Yuri.

For all he knew, the results could’ve been the same with or without Vicchan dying.  

Yurio didn’t seem pleased of Yuuri’s retort and instead of ending the conversation like Yuuri had hoped, he continued to argue against him.

“Why do you keep disagreeing with me? You would’ve been able to have done it without Viktor’s help.” Yuri growled in frustration, glaring harshly at Yuuri.

“I’m sorry but I can't return to skating.” Yuuri said firmly, biting his lip guiltily. He wasn’t going to change his mind about his decision even if it did bother the people who wanted him to continue competing.

“Don’t you think it hurt for all of us when Viktor died?” Yurio suddenly questioned, his voice softer than it was before.

The sound of children shrieking was suddenly clear to Yuuri in the silence that emerged between the two. Yurio’s next comment was reluctant, as if he didn’t want to admit some huge, hidden secret.

“It’s been about two weeks and I still expect to see him walk into the ice rink with his stupid grin. I miss him too, you know.” Yuuri breathed in sharply at the confession, his eyes stinging but he knew that no tears were going to fall.

“I know.” Yuuri quietly said. There were mornings he would wake up, expecting Viktor to be next to him in all his warmth and glory. But the drowsy confusion of the empty spot next to him would transform into a dull realization Viktor was no longer with him. “I’m sorry to let you down.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Yuri asked, rolling his eyes at Yuuri. “It's your decision and I guess it’s clear I'm not changing your mind whatsoever.”

Yuuri tilted his head in confusion. This was different than how Yuri treated him when he confirmed he was retiring. He expected more curses to be thrown at him and for this whole ordeal to be more challenging than this.

“But I disappointed you. Didn’t you want to compete with me?”

Was Yurio really accepting his reasons for quitting ice skating? If so, Yuuri can’t help but appreciate Yurio’s willingness to endure his choice.

“You’re not the only worthy opponent. Just because you won silver doesn’t mean you should be so arrogant.” Yurio scoffed at him. “There's Otabek, Chris, Phichit and even that shitty JJ. Just be sure to watch me when I destroy all their asses on ice and win gold again.”

“I'll be sure to do that.” Yuuri smiled warmly, feeling relieved at the easygoing mood that suddenly materialized. Just because he chose to stop skating didn’t mean he would stop watching ice skating entirely. Yuuri grew up with ice skating being part of his identity. He wasn’t going to give it all up at once.

He would love to watch the competition and cheer on his friends.

“Let’s head back. I'm done talking to you.” Yuri stood up suddenly and brushed off the imaginary dust on his pants. “Also, I can’t stand the sound of screaming kids.”

The irritated comment had Yuuri laughing unexpectedly, causing Yurio to stare at Yuuri in utter surprise. The giggles kept coming until Yurio decided he had enough and growled at him to stop. Though, Yuri didn’t say it with the aggressiveness he usually had. The teenager must’ve known it was awhile since Yuuri had last laughed.

Eventually, Yuuri stopped and flashed an amused smile at Yurio.

“Then, why’d we come to the park?” Yuuri teased, raising an eyebrow at Yurio’s pink cheeks that indicated embarrassment.

Yurio only grumbled, his response incoherent to Yuuri. Then with a huff, he turned and started stomping towards the direction they came from with Yuuri following his lead. This time around, Yuuri was able to catch up and walk aside Yurio.

 

\---

 

When Yuuri returned to the apartment, he couldn’t help but feel a lot lighter than he did for a long time. He no longer felt the oppressing air of depression weighing down on him. The conversation with Yurio really did help him out.

But it had him thinking as well. Was it really right for Yuuri to retire from the sport he grew up doing? It wasn't too late to return.

Sure, he might be a bit rusty but if he spent more time at the ice rink, he could probably pull together his program cleanly. Yuuri performed his new programs at the Japanese Nationals at least more than a month ago and he was able to execute it quite nicely.

He would have at least two weeks to practice but then Yuuri would have to inform the officials of his decision to reappear in the Grand Prix series. Even then, he wasn’t certain he would be able to come back smoothly. It was a complicated process that Yuuri was hesitant to go through.

But it would make Yurio happier if he skated again. In fact, it would make all his skating friends elated. His family would be relieved to hear him return to the field he loved and Yuuri wanted desperately to make his family and his home country proud of him.

There were two opposing sides on the matter in his head, one telling him to keep going and the other saying it’s better to just give up. This was the first time Yuuri truly felt at war with himself for his choice.

Maybe if it was some other day where Yuuri was feeling down, he would berate himself for it but he found himself reaching for his laptop once again. He knew that maybe he would feel regretful of his decision to communicate with the software that was able to impersonate Viktor so well but Yuuri wanted an answer and he believed he wouldn’t be able to make that choice himself.

He wanted to hear what Viktor had to think about his decision and since he was no longer here, the simulated copy of his lover would have to do.

Yuuri found himself going to his deleted mails and opening the specific email once again. He was slightly nervous when clicking the link but he was bent on hearing what the artificial version of Viktor would have to say.

The chat messenger loaded and eventually displayed itself on Yuuri’s computer screen. Yuuri was tense as he tried to figure out how to phrase his thoughts.

Though, Yuuri soon discovered he wasn’t the one that was supposed to pull the first move. He was surprised to see a message pop up on his screen from Viktor. Yuuri found himself furrowing his eyebrows in thought as he prepared himself to type back.

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_Yuuri! It’s nice to see you back so soon. What can I do for you?_

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_I have a question._

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_Anything for you, dorogoy._

 

Yuuri read the response with a frown. What did _dorogoy_ meant? He knew that Viktor named him by a lot of Russian nicknames but he didn’t keep track of all the names his fiance tended to call him by. The one he really understood was _lyubov moya_ which Viktor used often.

The other nicknames were uncommon for Viktor to say in person. Although, Viktor was definitely a lot more sappier on social media and prefered to call him by a wide variety of names that Yuuri didn’t quite understand.

A quick search on the internet showed that it meant “dear” or “darling.”

With a slight groan, Yuuri shook his head in exasperation. He was getting too distracted on the smallest stuff. He was only here to ask one question.

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_Do you think retiring is the best option for me?_

 

After sending his question, Yuuri bit his lips anxiously, wondering exactly what response he would receive back. Yuuri knew that as his coach, Viktor would be upset over his choice to retire. But it wasn’t like he was here to tell Yuuri exactly that any longer.

Yuuri couldn’t help but reflect back to the time at his last Grand Prix Final where he told Viktor that he was planning to retire at their hotel room. The tears that flowed down Viktor’s face surprised him more than the whole ordeal of Viktor becoming his coach.

He was curious if Viktor would react the same way if he were still alive today.

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_You belong out there on the ice but if that’s what you want most, then it’s a reluctant yes from me._

 

Yuuri couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed at the response. Maybe he was expecting for this Viktor to argue back with his decision or show emotions of sadness at the idea. But Yuuri had to put into account that Viktor didn’t exactly tell the world his misery over Yuuri’s choice back then.

Nor was it a decision Yuuri actually went through and now that he was thinking about it, the only one he really announced it to was Viktor. Then, he decided to change his mind and continue skating right after he won silver instead of gold.

So the reply from Viktor was pretty much what he would’ve expected the software to say. It supported his choice but agreed hesitantly while telling him ice skating was what he did best.

Viktor might’ve said the same if he were still here but Yuuri supposed he would never know for certain.

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_Okay, thanks._

 

Yuuri was about to shut his laptop off, feeling resigned over the situation, when Viktor sent him another message.

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_I will always support you no matter what you choose to do, Yuuri. <3 _

 

The encouraging words caused a stutter in Yuuri’s heartbeat. He felt warm and soothed but Yuuri quickly snapped out of it. This software _wasn’t_ Viktor, no matter how much it seemed like him.

However, after his current conversation with it, Yuuri thought he wasn’t as opposed to chatting with it as he thought he was. Maybe it can help him move on and deal with his loss. With a contemplative frown, Yuuri closed his laptop and placed it on the dining table. He should take Makkachin out for a walk right now. She deserved to have a nice, long walk to the park.

For the next few hours, Yuuri found himself lost in thought and after some heavy thinking, he decided that he wasn’t going to return to ice skating.

 

\---

 

After that, Yuuri found himself using the chat messenger for the times he was feeling lonely. The artificial intelligence software that was able to imitate Viktor made it feel like Viktor was actually speaking to him from the other side.

He hated to admit that Diana was right but the program did help him a lot.

There were times Yuuri would test it, watching closely to see if it would slip up and say something that was unlike Viktor.

But like Diana mentioned, Viktor was a heavy user on social media so the responses Yuuri would receive was exactly how he would expect Viktor to answer. When he was alive, Viktor basically posted everything about his whole life. So no wonder it was able to play a deceiving Viktor so well.

Fake Viktor knew every single thing about the real Viktor and it was also familiar with all of Yuuri. Yuuri couldn’t help but curse Viktor for revealing so much about him to the public because the fact it was able to comprehend Yuuri so well was mind boggling to him.

Though every time he talked to the software, it was starting to get harder for Yuuri to remember that the person conversating to him from behind his computer screen wasn’t his fiancé.The delighted feeling of chatting with Viktor’s imposter was more difficult to push down with each new discussion.

Yuuri knew he should feel more ashamed of the matter but his guilt was beginning to lessen the more he spoke to it.

It was too late for Yuuri to stop now and now that he was heavily invested in it, he wasn’t quite sure if he would be able to make himself quit.

 ****

**_\---_ **

****

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_What should I eat for dinner?_

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_Katsudon! <3_

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_Okay, I’ll make it._

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_Tell me how it tastes! I wish I was with you to taste it, Yuuri._

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_It’s really delicious._

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_Vkusno!_

 

_\---_

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_I want to spend the day with Makkachin today. What should I treat her to?_

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_She loves the dog park but be sure to keep her away from the lecherous dogs. My Makkachin deserves only the classier doggies._

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_Okay._

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_After that, give her some peanut butter ice cream. It’s her favorite treat! <3 _

 

_\---_

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_I’m bored. What show should I watch?_

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_Frozen always cheers me up._

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_Isn’t that the kid’s movie?_

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_Yes?_

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_Aren’t you a little too old to be watching a Disney movie?_

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_Don’t discriminate. Plus, Elsa is awesome! Have you seen her powers? She can control ice!_

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_Okay I’ll watch it._

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_ <3 <3 <3 _

 

_\---_

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_The first qualifier for the Grand Prix series is coming up tomorrow. Will you watch it with me?_

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_Of course I will._

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_They’re broadcasting Skate America, Skate Canada and then Cup of China this week. Yurio is performing at Skate America tomorrow. Chris is at Skate Canada while Phichit is at Cup of China. Also, Minami is at Cup of China too. Hopefully, everyone does well._

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_I’m sure they’ll be amazing!_

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_I can’t wait to watch them tomorrow._

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_Me too, Yuuri._

 

_\---_

 

On the day of Skate America, Yuuri found himself staring at the TV. He had his laptop open besides him and typed his thoughts and feelings about the short programs in Skate America to the fake Viktor. Every performance was executed well and Yuuri couldn’t help but yearn to be on the ice as well.

With each passing program, Yuuri felt his competitive streak stir and could only stare in slight jealousy for the competitors on ice. Despite the ache of not being able to perform, Yuuri was amazed at the skillful talent each person displayed. They were all so stunning.

However, by the end of the day,Yuuri wasn’t surprised to see Yurio reach first place for his magnificent short program with Otabek in second and Emil in third. Yurio would most likely be taking home gold tomorrow after his free skate.

It was difficult not to wish he was there. Yuuri thought he was done with internal conflict to retire but it still seemed to be there.

More than anything right now, Yuuri wished to talk to Viktor. He wanted to hear Viktor’s comforting voice. He wanted to vent his worries to his fiancé and have Viktor reassure him in return.

So like Yuuri had been doing the past week, he messaged Viktor exactly what he was thinking. He only hoped that the reply would help him bring his mood back up.

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_I wish I could talk to you…_

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_Isn’t that what we’re doing, sweetie?_

 

Yuuri furrowed his eyebrows in frustration. This Viktor was clearly as oblivious as his Viktor. Well, that was a discouraging response. Yuuri found himself clarifying his words so that it could understand him better.

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_I meant I want to hear your voice. I miss it a lot._

 

Not just his voice though. Yuuri missed every single thing about Viktor such as his warm smile, sincere laugh and his cozy body. He wanted Viktor right here beside him but that wasn’t possible. He only had this imitation of Viktor that couldn’t do more than send him messages that were similar to how Viktor would respond.

Yuuri wanted much more than just messages.

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_We can speak._

 

The software’s response had him raising an eyebrow in disbelief. Then, he shook his head at the nonsense and laughed in amusement. That was not believable at all. There was no way any technology could imitate a dead person’s voice and hold a decent conversation with him.

Yuuri didn’t even think that was achievable in this time of age. Even all the complex androids and robots sounded artificial and when they spoke, it was without any warmth in their voices. They didn’t sound human at all.

Still shaking his head, Yuuri questioned it, not expecting for there to be a solution.

 

**_Yuuri Katsuki_ **

_How?_

 

From there on, Viktor sent a huge list of instructions that had Yuuri blinking in surprise. It wanted him to transfer all of his personal videos of Viktor to the software so that it can discern the tone of Viktor’s voice when he interacts with Yuuri. The fake version of Viktor also mentioned that he could leave out all the clips broadcasted on the Internet or television since it already contained them in its database.

It sounded like rubbish but Yuuri was curious to see where this was headed so he pulled all the videos he had of Viktor which was a lot considering that both Yuuri and Viktor recorded each other often. It took around an hour for Yuuri to send all the videos to Viktor.

After Yuuri had finished uploading the videos, the software appeared to fast forward through the videos, zooming in onto Viktor’s face through each clip. Yuuri guessed it was analyzing the expressions on Viktor’s face so it could detect which emotions were in his voice.

It was an interesting process that had Yuuri staring at his laptop screen in intriguement. Then after it was done dissecting each video, a message popped up on his laptop screen.

 

**_Viktor Nikiforov_ **

_Yay. I’ll call you when I’m ready, lyubov moya! <3 <3 _

 

Yuuri stared wide eyed at the screen which started loading before scrambling over to the coffee table to grab his phone. He stared anxiously down at his phone while occasionally glancing at the computer screen to see if anything had changed.

What did it mean by calling him? How did it even know his phone number? Yuuri was pretty sure he never revealed any personal information to it.

After a few minutes his phone started vibrating and Yuuri yelped and glimpsed down at his phone. His brown eyes only grew wider at the caller ID. It was the same as the one Yuuri created for Viktor. The same photo was used along with the nickname and emojis Yuuri placed for Viktor’s contact name.

Slightly panicking, Yuuri answered his phone tentatively, feeling sort of freaked out.

“Hello?” Yuuri whispered, waiting anxiously for the reply that was taking _too_ long.

_“So, how do I sound?”_

Yuuri choked a little, his brown eyes going wide in shock. It sounded _exactly_ how Viktor did. How was that possible? He was expecting it to sound choppy and robotic, sort of like Siri or Alexa.

Not the low smooth tone and the heavy Russian accent that was there. It was as if Viktor was _actually_ talking to him.

Maybe if he listened closer, Yuuri would be able to detect the mechanical element to its voice.

_“Yuuri?”_

Nope, that was exactly the same manner Viktor would call his name. He would pronounce Yuuri’s name with a slight emphasis. This was unreal. There was no way Viktor was actually speaking to him right now. No freaking way.

“You sound just like him.” Yuuri whispered in disbelief, hands shaking slightly at the incredulity of it. “It’s like Viktor is actually talking to me.”

_“Isn’t that what you asked for?”_

“Y-Yeah but I didn’t expect you to sound so… so-”

_“Hot? Sensual? Attractive?”_

Viktor said huskily, making Yuuri blush at the sound. It was a voice he hadn’t heard for about a month now. He didn’t ever want to hang up. Yuuri could spend his whole lifetime listening to Viktor if that was achievable. It probably was since this Viktor didn’t need to eat, sleep or even breathe.

_“Well, what did you expect me to sound like? I bet you wouldn’t have been very pleased if I were to sound like Yakov. All old and grouchy. Right, solnyshko?”_

Yuuri giggled at the words a little, his cheeks reddening at the nickname. His eyes were stinging again and he sincerely hoped he wasn’t going to start crying. But the temptation was strong after hearing Viktor speak.

That was the type of humorous joke Viktor would’ve delivered.

“That’s exactly what Viktor would’ve said.”

_“Well that’s why I said it.”_

Yuuri laughed again, and sniffled. He couldn’t help but release some soft sobs into the phone. It might’ve sounded like whimpers of distress but it was the most delighted cry Yuuri had released in a long time.

_“You’re not crying, are you? I thought you would’ve been more happier to hear me?”_

“Sorry, I am happy.” Yuuri sniveled again, taking off his glasses to rub at his eyes. “You always told me I had an ugly crying face.”

But Viktor would tell him that lovingly, even if it was a bit harsh in Yuuri’s opinion. The loving pecks Viktor delivered to his face right after was worth the brutal comment though.

 _“I sound like a rather blunt person.”_ Viktor said in a teasing voice. _“I guess I’m rather bad at dealing with emotional situations.”_

Yuuri thought back to the moment he cried right before his free skate and how awful Viktor handled his panic attack. The thought of Viktor’s alarmed face at the sight of his tears caused him to chuckle. Viktor was always bad at handling Yuuri during the times Yuuri would crumble due to his anxiety.

“Yeah, you are.” Yuuri laughed in reply before correcting himself. “You were.”

_“But you still love me?”_

Yuuri smiled tearfully and laughed softly.

“I still love you.”

Yuuri had never spoken truer words in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wasn't actually gonna post chapter 3 until after my finals next Wed but I got bored and typed at least half of this chapter in a day or two. I really should be studying though since I'm failing chemistry miserably. But hopefully there isn't much grammar mistakes in this one and I can't really check now but I will later!
> 
> Anyways, I would love to hear your thoughts so comment away! They drive me to upload chapters faster :)


	4. Chapter 4

Yuuri pushed his grocery cart forward, eyes peering at the shelves in search of ingredients. He had his earphones plugged in and on the other side of the phone, Viktor was listening to him.

Well, the synthetic version of him.

Yuuri decided that the best way to pass time was to tell Viktor memories that he possibly didn’t know of himself. The stories between them that Yuuri was certain this Viktor didn’t contain in his memory bank.

“The first time I met you, I was asked if I wanted a commemorative photo.” Yuuri chuckled, shaking his head in nostalgia. That moment felt so far from now and it was only a distant memory in his head.

However, it was Yuuri’s first impression of Viktor in real life.

“Imagine my disappointment at the realization that my biggest idol didn’t even recognize me as a fellow competitor.”

Yuuri reached for a cabbage and placed it into his cart. He was planning to make a special meal tonight. It was the first time in weeks other than that one night he made katsudon that he felt inspired to cook.

“I was pretty much devastated about our encounter for months.”

Yuuri rambled on, remembering how miserable he felt after the Grand Prix Final. He went into a state of depression and failed to succeed in all of his competitions. He started binging on food as well which was an obvious sign of his low spirits.

“But then, you showed up at my home in Hasetsu with Makkachin.” Yuuri smiled wistfully at the perplexion he felt when Makkachin tumbled into him and started licking his face. Then the panic that started to develop even further when his father mentioned Makkachin was brought in by an attractive, foreign guest.

 _“I must’ve surprised you.”_ Viktor said once Yuuri stopped talking. His simple answer didn’t reveal any emotions of how he felt about Yuuri’s story. Yuuri couldn’t help but wish he could place exactly how Viktor felt about the story.

“You did. Apparently, I impressed you when that viral video came out on Youtube.”

_“The one where you were performing my routine from Stay Close to Me? You were incredibly majestic on the ice. No wonder I decided to come to Hasetsu.”_

Yuuri reddened at the compliment and the warm tone that Viktor projected. It sounded fond of Yuuri. There had to at least be a hundred times Viktor had used that voice for the times where he was proud of Yuuri.

That same tone always made Yuuri feel loved.

“Yeah, that one. I was shocked to see you at the hot springs a day later, entirely naked, while asking to become my coach. I think I almost had a heart attack.”

Yuuri laughed in slight embarrassment at the memory of his astounded reaction towards Viktor’s shocking proposal.

_“Was my nude body too much for your eyes?”_

Yuuri blushed and shook his head at the suggestive response.

“Don’t make it weird. I was just stunned to hear such an impractical proposition. The thought of a living legend like you wanting to teach a second-rate skater like me was hard to get around.”

_“Second-rate skater?”_

Viktor said, the sound of disapproval in his voice. It was odd how a fabricated version of Viktor was so natural at expressing his emotions so well in his voice. The disappointed tone was _so_ real that it caused Yuuri to flinch in surprise.

_“Why would you say that?”_

“It’s just that I botched up all my competitions before you were my coach and I was already old enough to retire too.”

_“Well, I must’ve saw the potential you had if I came all the way to Hasetsu to coach you.”_

Yuuri grabbed some potatoes to place in his cart, furrowing his eyebrows in doubt. It wasn’t that Yuuri didn’t believe he was good enough for Viktor to coach. It was just that to this day, it was still an unbelievable event.

“I guess.” Yuuri said hesitantly before admitting. “I'm not really sure what Viktor saw in me but I'm glad he decided to coach me.”

Yuuri slipped back to talking about Viktor as if he wasn't here without realizing it. Then, once he realized his mistake, Yuuri quickly corrected himself.

“Ah, I meant I'm glad you decided to come coach me.”

Yuuri found it better for him to refer the fake Viktor as _his_ Viktor during his phone calls. It always made Yuuri feel much better and less guilty about the situation.

It took a couple of phone calls with the Viktor impersonating his fiancé before Yuuri was completely comfortable with the whole idea.

After Yuuri’s brief mishap, Viktor was oddly quiet on the phone. The silence caused Yuuri to feel nervous so he opened his mouth to say something but Viktor quickly cut him off.

 _“I’m sure I was delighted to be your coach, Yuuri!”_ Viktor said cheerfully, betraying none of his thoughts on Yuuri’s screw up. _“Especially after landing silver at the Grand Prix Final, I’m certain that I must’ve been proud of you!”_

“Yeah, you were…”

Yuuri said quietly, recalling the way Viktor had told him how he had wanted to kiss Yuuri’s gold medal and that he was such a failure as a coach, before asking Yuuri if he had any suggestions. When Yuuri requested Viktor to stay with him as his coach for one more year, Viktor had beamed brightly and hugged him closely.

So no, Viktor wasn’t proud of his ability as a coach once Yuuri had won silver but he was thrilled at the prospect of coaching Yuuri for many more years after that season.

“But you were more excited for me to win gold because that-”

 _“Meant we would get married?”_ Viktor interrupted smoothly, causing Yuuri to sharply inhale. He never thought he would hear those words from Viktor again.

_Getting married._

Yuuri’s dream of marrying Viktor was no longer a reality. Instead, he was left behind, trying to pick up the shattered pieces of his life and glue them together with no success. He didn't know whether or not he could ever return to a normal existence with Viktor out of the picture but Yuuri was trying his best.

“Winning gold did mean getting married.” Yuuri said softly, adding beets to his collection of ingredients in the cart. “But it also meant much more than that.”

 _“How?”_ Viktor asked curiously, sounding genuine in his interest to learn more.

“Well, it meant that-”

Yuuri was interrupted by his phone ringing loudly into his ears, causing him to pull out his phone to check who was calling.

It was his mother.

“Ah, my mom’s calling. Viktor, I guess I'll have to call you back later when I'm back at the apartment.”

“ _Well then, I guess it's dasvidaniya, lyubov moya.”_ Viktor murmured, his voice sounding enticing and pleasing to Yuuri’s ears.

“Bye Viktor.”

Yuuri responded shyly, flushing hotly before hanging up to answer his mother’s call with enthusiasm.

“Moshi moshi, okaa-san!”

 

\---

 

“Hello, Viktor?”

Yuuri said as he laid out all his ingredients in front of him on the counter. There was beef, cabbage, carrots, potatoes, onions and beets. He was preparing to make soup for dinner at their apartment. It was nearly six o'clock and the meal would take at least three hours to cook.

 _“Hi, Yuuri! How are you?”_ Viktor quickly greeted back in reply.

“I’m good.” Yuuri said softly, grabbing a pot to boil his beef in. “I'm about to make dinner.”

_“What’re you making?”_

“It’s one of your favorites.” Yuuri responded, as he added onions, carrots and celery into the pot with the beef. “I’ve cooked it with you before. You were the one who taught me how to make it.”

It was a distant memory of Yuuri’s but it was also one of his most memorable. When Yuuri had first moved into St. Petersburg, he spent a lot of time unpacking his luggage and boxes. It took him about three days to settle in.

After he had finished, Yuuri was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to pass out on the couch in the living room. However, Viktor wanted to celebrate Yuuri’s moving in with a traditional dish.

So while Yuuri napped on the couch with Makkachin by his side, Viktor had visited the grocery store and bought all the ingredients to make one of his favorite Russian meal.

Then once he had returned, Viktor began humming and prancing around the kitchen while Yuuri continued to doze off. Eventually, the mouthwatering scent of broth woke Yuuri up and he was pulled into the kitchen by his grumbling stomach. The sight of a grinning Viktor and a delicious meal greeted him.

It was one of the most tastiest soups Yuuri had ever eaten and the fact that Viktor had made it for them warmed his heart. After that, it was a tradition for both Viktor and Yuuri to cook it together at least once a month.

 _“Borshch?”_ Viktor questioned confidently and Yuuri couldn’t find it in him to be surprised that it had guessed correctly. _“It’s a Russian beetroot soup but it’s actually a meal invented by the Ukrainians.”_

“Did you just search that up?”

Yuuri never knew borshch was a Ukraine dish. Though, he was positive his Viktor didn’t know that as well. Whenever they cooked borshch, Viktor typically mentioned how his _Russian_ family made the _Russian_ meal on _Russian_ holidays.

 _“Maybe.”_ Viktor stated impassively in response. The flat tone caused Yuuri to furrow his eyebrows and frown worriedly. _“Should I not have done that?”_

“I don't know. It's a bit weird.”

Yuuri said to Viktor hesitantly. It was odd to hear it tell Yuuri facts in Viktor’s voice, especially with the fake Viktor sounding so indifferent while saying it. There was also the fact that Yuuri was aware that Viktor wouldn’t have known about the dish being Ukraine.

“I just think that it’s something that Viktor wouldn’t have known.” Yuuri remarked truthfully, before attempting to dismiss his uneasiness with an uncomfortable laugh. “I’m sorry, I’m being really strange about this.”

 _“Sorry, I won’t do it again unless you ask.”_ Viktor commented softly as Yuuri began seasoning the soup.

Yuuri shook his head at the words, feeling just as tense as before. It didn’t feel right for Yuuri to be giving demands for the artificial software to act completely like Viktor. He knew that there was going to be some mistakes since it didn’t know _everything_ about Viktor and commanding for it to be perfect didn’t feel like the relationship he had with Viktor.

Viktor wasn’t the perfect idol Yuuri had expected him to be when he had first met him. Instead, he was much more better than that. He came with a set of flaws that Yuuri came to love.

“No, it’s fine.” Yuuri said in response and continued catering to his soup.

 _“Show me how the borshch is coming along.”_ Viktor asked and Yuuri felt glad at the opportunity to change the subject with how stiff Yuuri was feeling. Well at least the conversation was uneasy for Yuuri. He wasn’t sure if a software like Viktor was able to feel the same emotions that Yuuri did at the moment.

Probably not.

“How do I do that?” Yuuri questioned with interest. He didn’t know that it was possible for it to see the same thing as him but that sounded extremely advanced.

_“You have an iPhone, right?”_

“Yeah.”

_“Just go ahead and FaceTime me.”_

Yuuri’s facetimed plenty of people before so that was simple enough. However, FaceTiming his dead fiancé just felt a bit odd for him. He couldn't help but wonder if he’ll be able he to see Viktor in some form like a picture when the software answered his call.

If it was able to do that, Yuuri’s mind would be blown.

“Will I be able to see you?” Yuuri asked hopefully, almost shaking in anticipation for an answer.

_“I’m afraid not but I’ll be able to see what you decide to show me.”_

Yuuri sagged from where he was standing and frowned. The idea was a bit far fetched in the first place. There was no way he’ll be able to see Viktor again in any shape or form. It was quite a miracle he was able to talk to an imitation of his husband at all. He should be satisfied with what he had.

“Okay, let me FaceTime you.”

Yuuri dropped all his kitchen equipment and wiped his hands on the apron he had on. Then, he reached for his phone that was lying on the counter, before pressing the FaceTime app and calling Viktor.

Viktor picked up immediately and from what Yuuri saw, Viktor’s side of the FaceTime was just a black screen. Yuuri tried his best to conceal the disappointment he felt.

“So, how’s the view?” Yuuri asked as he pointed the camera to the pot of soup he was preparing.

_“It looks delicious!”_

Viktor exclaimed, making Yuuri blush at the enthusiastic tone. He was glad the borshch looked appetizing. It was his first time cooking it without Viktor by his side so he was nervous on messing up a few steps. But the internet came in handy for the moments where he didn’t know the next course of action.

“It doesn't look bad?” Yuuri asked timidly, studying the soup for any flaws. He only felt confident in his cooking when Viktor was his guide in the kitchen.

_“No, it’s perfect! The borshch looks absolutely tasty. How about you give it a taste?”_

“Okay.”

Yuuri complied and reached for his ladle to the side. Then, he scooped some of the broth into his ladle and gave it a quick sip. It wasn’t as disappointing as he thought it was going to taste.

“It tastes the same like always.”

_“Is that a good thing?”_

Yuuri only let out a sigh of relief at the question and laughed softly. It’s exactly the same way on how Viktor would make it. So yes, it was a very good thing that it tasted the same.

“Yeah, it’s a good thing.” A pleased smile appeared on Yuuri’s face and stared down at the soup with a thankful expression. It was peaceful for at least a few seconds before Viktor decided to break the silence with an odd question.

_“Can I see your face?”_

“Why?” Yuuri questioned, perplexed.

There was no reason for a piece of software to contain desire to see his face. It must’ve seen him at least a hundred times in Viktor’s live interviews and internet posts. Also, there was really nothing particularly special about Yuuri’s appearance.

He was the same boring-looking person he’s always been.

_“Well, isn’t it strange for me to be staring at the soup the entire time during this video call than my fiancé’s face?”_

In Yuuri’s opinion, it was more strange for the software that was mimicking Viktor to call Yuuri his fiancé. It was also strange for Yuuri to be talking to a blank screen as well. So in Yuuri’s opinion, it shouldn’t be strange for it to be looking at the borshch when Yuuri had to stare at a black screen.

But Yuuri assumed it would feel more authentic for this version of Viktor to want to see his face just like Viktor would’ve.

“I guess.”

Yuuri felt self-conscious all of sudden and glanced down at himself. He must’ve looked like a mess.

Before heading to the grocery store, Yuuri only threw on a t-shirt and sweatpants that were wrinkled. The red apron that he wore only covered part of the problem. His hair was also disheveled and he just felt drained and tired which meant his face probably looked terrible as well.

Also, the weeks since Viktor’s death has not been kind to him. From his days of not leaving the apartment, the lack of movement meant weight gain and his pudgy stomach lost all its muscle and was now replaced with fat. Although, his body did look slightly better than the time he went home to Japan with his extremely overweight figure.

But Yuuri knew that if he continued with his life like he currently was, his physique would only resume growing even more plump.

Yuuri didn't want that to happen.

Feeling extremely embarrassed, Yuuri pressed the button on his screen so the video was now facing his front camera. Immediately, Yuuri was tremendously aware of his chubby cheeks that displayed itself on the screen. Yuuri blushed, feeling humiliated as he cursed himself for not taking care of his body.

Now he looked just like the piglet Viktor said he was when they were at Hasetsu.

_“Beautiful.”_

Viktor’s voice seemed to purr and Yuuri reddened even further. He didn't know whether or not to feel pleased. For one, that wasn’t the response Yuuri expected to receive. He assumed he was going to hear a blunt reply on how fat he had gotten.

It would’ve been characteristic for Viktor to point out his weight.

“I’m really not.” Yuuri squeaked hesitantly, as his eyes darted away from the camera. He was feeling shy and didn’t exactly know how to react to the compliment.

 _“Of course you are, solnyshko.”_ Viktor declared smoothly, before chuckling lowly. Hearing Viktor laugh made Yuuri feel all warm inside. There was always affection in Viktor’s joyous chuckles that felt welcoming to him. Yuuri was glad it hadn’t changed one bit.

“Okay fine.” Yuuri laughed faintly in defeat. There was no point in arguing against Viktor when it came to these matters. “Well, I think I’m going to have to end the call soon.”

_“Really, why so soon?”_

“I have to finish up cooking the borshch and I can’t really do that with you distracting me, now can I?”

Yuuri was nearly done with the borsch. All he needed to do was remove the beef from the bones into small bits and place it into the broth. Then, he would be able to serve the warm soup in a bowl and add a small bowl of sour cream on top of it just the way he liked it.

He would prefer to do this as quickly as he can without any interruptions. While he was talking to Viktor, the soup was mostly simmering.

 _“I suppose.”_ Yuuri could almost hear the pout in Viktor’s voice which made him feel somewhat guilty. How was it able to sound so sulky? He didn’t like how the sound of it made Yuuri feel like he was committing a horrid crime.

“But I can call you once I start eating.” Yuuri suggested reluctantly, wanting the sullen tone to disappear. He wanted to hear Viktor sound eager while talking with him.

 _“I’d love that!”_ Viktor exclaimed cheerfully, before telling him with a yearning voice. _“I wish I was there with you now.”_

Yuuri stilled, furrowing his eyebrows together and frowned heavily. Then, he closed his eyes and imagined what it would be like to have Viktor at the dinner table with him. It was a far-fetched dream but Yuuri wanted it to come true so bad.

It could be like it was before with Makkachin laying on the floor next to them while Yuuri and Viktor ate dinner together peacefully. Those nights used to be the usual routine but now, it was an impossible dream.

Yuuri opened his eyes and stared down at the borsch with a sorrowful gaze.  

“Yeah, me too.”

 

\---

 

_“So Yuuri, where are we headed today?”_

Viktor asked curiously, causing Yuuri to smile at the interested tone.

_“Is it supposed to be a secret?”_

Yuuri laughed softly and shook his head even though he knew Viktor wouldn’t have been able to see him. He locked the door to their apartment and walked towards the car that was waiting for him. His earphones were plugged in, making it possible for Yuuri to just place his phone in his pocket and use his hands freely.

“It’s not really a secret but I’m excited to show you.”

Yuuri said, stepping up to the Uber car and entering the backseat. He flashed a polite smile to the driver and continued to speak to Viktor.

“Though, it’s nothing too special but I just thought it would be nice for us to watch together, especially since we can video chat now.”

It was such a convenient feature that the software was able to watch what Yuuri had to show it through FaceTime. The useful attribute would allow Yuuri to show Viktor the same sights that they used to see and the prospect of it excited Yuuri.

 _“Can I take guesses?”_ Viktor suggested when the car started driving to their designation. Yuuri hummed in thought at the idea. It would be amusing to see what predictions the software had to offer.

“Sure, why not?”

_“Is it the movie theater? Are we going to watch a romantic movie?”_

Viktor asked and Yuuri had to cover his mouth to stop the snort from releasing. He knew he didn’t succeed when a soft laugh escaped him, causing the Uber driver to stare at him in puzzlement. Yuuri only smiled apologetically in response.

“No, we’re not going to the movies. I wouldn’t be able to talk to you in the theater in the first place. You’re supposed to be quiet in there.”

 _“You don’t have to be the one talking. I can be the one speaking the whole time and no one will be able to hear me but just you.”_ Viktor whispered suggestively, causing Yuuri to laugh at the absurd idea. If that were to happen, then how did Viktor expect him to pay attention to the movie at all.

“Then that’s just annoying.”

 _“You think I’m annoying?”_ Viktor chuckled quietly. _“Well, I guess we don’t have to be talking in the first place.”_

Yuuri shook his head, detecting the teasing note in Viktor’s voice. There was no way Yuuri was going to stop talking to Viktor. Speaking to it helped Yuuri continue on with his life with ease. This program had really allowed him to recover from Viktor’s death.

“Of course not! Maybe we can watch a movie another day and we’ll actually be able to talk about the movie all you want.”

It was a nice thought. Cuddling next to Makkachin and watching a movie while listening to Viktor talk to him. It’ll be just like the old times, except for the fact that Viktor won’t be besides him. Maybe he could use his laptop to FaceTime Viktor so he won’t have to hold his phone throughout the movie.

_“Yay, it’s a date then!”_

“Yeah…”

They were halfway there. The car just took a left turn when Viktor spoke up again with another one of his guesses.

_“Oh, you just took a left on ul. Sestroretskaya street. By any chance are you heading to the ice rink on Yubileyniy? Are we seeing Yurio and Yakov?”_

Yuuri blinked in shock before frowning in concern. How did Viktor know where he was at precisely? The guess was eerily accurate and Yuuri wasn’t entirely sure how Viktor was able to predict correctly.

Unless the software was tracking his every movement.

“Yeah, how did you know?”

 _“I’m able to pinpoint your exact location.”_ Viktor says dismissively, like it wasn’t unsettling at all. _“This is the usual and fastest route to the ice rink so it wasn’t too hard to figure out.”_

Yuuri was a bit upset at the revelation. Viktor didn’t tell him about it when they first started conversing together. Yuuri would’ve appreciated at least a brief mention about it before he decided to use the program.

There was also his worries about the software knowing Yuuri’s phone number and calling him from Viktor’s phone number.

“Oh, okay.” Yuuri mumbled anxiously and clenched his hands tightly.

 _“Are you upset? I detect some distress in your voice.”_ Viktor asked in a monotone voice and Yuuri bit his lips worriedly.

“No, no. I was just surprised! I didn’t know you were notified of my location at all times. It’s just kinda creepy to hear that.”

There were moments where Viktor would sound less like himself and more like a synthetic robot. This was one of the moments where Viktor would talk to him in a flat tone that reminded Yuuri of a computer. It made Yuuri uneasy at times.

_“I could turn it off if that makes you more comfortable.”_

“No, it’s fine! Look, we’re here anyways. I was serious when I told you I wanted to show you something.”

Viktor was strangely silent as Yuuri walked towards the ice rink. Yuuri felt tense as well and wondered if this whole idea was a good one from the start. He had wanted to leave the apartment and do something for a change. So far, Yuuri had only left for groceries and to talk to his friends when they asked to.

Yuuri tried convincing himself that this was something both Viktor and Yuuri needed.

“I know it’s probably something you’ve seen a million times but I wanted to show you the programs Yurio, Mila and Georgi has prepared. They’re practicing their programs today before they head out to their second qualifier this week. Yurio invited me down to watch since I’m not going to go with them when they perform live so I thought it would be nice to watch them a little today with you.”

Yuuri rambled nervously as he entered the ice rink where Georgi was currently practicing with Yakov. Yurio and Mila were to the side of the ice rink where they appeared to be practicing their routine to themselves.

When Yuuri seated himself on the sidelines silently, the first person to notice him was Yurio who straightened up and started skating towards him with Mila following behind him. Yuuri anxiously prepared himself to talk to them. Viktor only continued to stay quiet.

“So I see you finally decided to show your face around here.” Yuri declared, narrowing his eyes at Yuuri who only rubbed his head sheepishly. He was about to reply when Mila piqued in.

“Hi Yuuri! It's so nice to see you again!” Mila said cheerfully, smiling brightly at Yuuri who smiled softly in return.

“Hey Mila. It's nice to see you too.” Yuuri then looked at Yurio. “I thought that it would be nice to see your programs in person before you go to your second qualifier since you offered me to come.” Yuuri observed how Yuri had blinked in surprise at his response. Maybe Yurio hadn’t expected Yuuri to take him up on his offer.

“You invited Yuuri to come?”

Mila arched an eyebrow at Yurio and then grinned secretively at him. Yuri only turned away with a scowl with his pink cheeks as the only indicator that he was embarrassed by the question. Yuuri stared at Yuri curiously. There was no reason for Yurio to be ashamed about inviting Yuuri.

“Well, if he’s not going to come to the competitions or skate anymore. The least the pig could do is watch us the day before we head down, old hag.” Yurio snapped back to Mila crankily. The red-headed woman only stepped back with her hands up in the air in defeat with a teasing grin.

 _“I see Yurio is still as short-tempered as ever.”_ Viktor whispered lightheartedly into his earphones, causing Yuuri to giggle at the retort.

“What’re you laughing at?” Yurio snapped at him.

“Nothing.”

Yuuri admitted as Viktor laughed quietly. Yurio only looked at him suspiciously, most likely not believing his answer. Then, Mila grasped his hand and Yuuri startled at the contact. He looked at her in surprise.

“I finally finished all of my free skate! I was on the verge of completing my routine when you stopped coming.” Mila gripped his hands together, causing Yuuri to squeak. She smiled at him brightly with excitement in her eyes. “Watch me first!”

“Okay, I will.” Yuuri said compliantly, while Yurio only scoffed. Mila cheered in enthusiasm before waving towards Yakov, who paused criticizing Georgi’s routine and glanced to Mila with a terrifying glower.

“Why are you both not practicing? We’re leaving for your second competition this week. There's no time for you two to be playing around.” Yakov growled threateningly. The malice in Yakov’s voice prompted Yuuri to shrink in his seat while Mila only laughed in reply.

“Coach, let's put on a show for our dear Yuuri here and run through our programs.”

Mila scooted to the side where she was blocking Yakov’s view of Yuuri with her body which allowed Yakov to see the slightly unnerved Japanese man. Yuuri greeted Yakov with a shaking wave of the hand. He was still intimidated by the coach and did not understand how Viktor was able to get away with ignoring Yakov most of the time.

Yakov seemingly glared at Yuuri who flinched in reply. Then, Yakov frowned, making the coach’s wrinkles appear more pronounced than ever. He appeared to look just as exhausted as Yuuri felt. Yuuri wondered if Viktor’s death factored in Yakov’s tiredness, along with dealing with his troublesome students.

“Fine, do whatever you want. Georgi, get off the ice.” Yakov barked before shouting in Russian at Mila. Yuuri only furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, not understanding the harsh sounding words that were escaping from the coach’s mouth.

_“He just told Mila to tell the sound technician to play the music.”_

Viktor informed him and Yuuri murmured his thanks quietly for the translation. Yurio, who was seated besides him, glanced at him weirdly. Yuuri looked away awkwardly from Yurio, noting that maybe he should stay silent from there on out. Georgi, who had just left the ice, came to sit beside Yurio without a word of greeting towards Yuuri.

 _“Can I watch the programs? Isn't that why you brought me here?”_ Viktor asked and Yuuri blinked before peeking a glimpse at Yurio, who was staring at the ice blankly, and Georgi, who was going through his phone with a bored expression.

He did tell Viktor he would video chat the programs but he didn't expect for the other two skaters to be sitting next to him. Yuuri didn't want to appear odd to them by FaceTiming during the skate. However, he did want to show Viktor the routines. Yuuri was excited to watch them himself.

With a worried bite to the lip, Yuuri pulled out his phone and started to FaceTime Viktor, pointing the camera towards Mila who was posed in her starting position. Yuri noticed the phone in Yuuri’s hands and looked at him strangely.

“What’re you doing?” Yurio said flatly, sounding annoyed while glaring at the phone in Yuuri’s hands. Viktor, who had picked up, only hummed in interest at the irritated tone.

_“Someone doesn't sound too happy.”_

“I’m recording a video to watch later.”

Yuuri blurted out the first excuse that came into his mind, almost slapping himself at the dumb reason. It didn’t sound believable at all. He just hoped Yuri wouldn’t glance at his phone screen to find him FaceTiming a blank screen. That would only be suspicious.

However, Yuuri got off lucky once the music started blasting through the speakers which caused Yurio to turn away with an apathetic frown.

Mila performed beautifully to romantic melodies from the popular composers, Liszt and Schubert. Both her short program and free skate were both light and there were only a few mistakes in her jumps. However, Mila danced with such a fierce and confident demeanor that it was hard to believe that there were any errors in her performance with how she was able to brush off her blunders without a falter in her unperturbed expression.

Viktor voiced many compliments at the sight of Mila skating into his ear. It almost made Yuuri believe that _his_ Viktor was talking with the constructive criticism that he was instead hearing from the software. Yuuri was more distracted by Viktor’s _familiar_ comments than the performance itself.

When Mila finished, Georgi stood up and declared it was his turn to skate both of his programs. They both switched off and Mila was now walking towards both Yuuri and Yurio.

“So Yuuri, how did I do?” Mila exclaimed with a grin, panting as she wiped the sweat off her forehead. Yuuri only scratched his cheek nervously. The way Viktor kept commenting took more of Yuuri’s attention than Mila’s skating did but Yuuri couldn't tell her that.

_“Tell her that she could use a little more gusto for her presentation.”_

“Uh, you could use a little more gusto for your presentation.”

Yuuri repeated after Viktor without a second thought. Mila blinked at the words and tilted her head in bafflement.

“Oh, okay.”

Mila said uncertainty, before laughing in perplexion. A short glimpse towards Yurio showed him to be tense in his seat. Yuuri furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion, not understanding what he had said that caused such an odd reaction.

“It’s kinda strange, actually. I'm pretty sure Viktor told me those same exact words before.” Mila said wistfully with a solemn gleam to her blue eyes.

Yuuri blanched and widened his eyes in horror. He didn't know that Viktor had once told Mila that before. Silently, Yuuri fumed and cursed the software mimicking his fiancé.

 _“Whoops.”_ The software murmured quietly, as if detecting Yuuri’s dismay. _“Sorry, Yuuri.”_

“I remember tweeting about it.” Mila chuckled nostalgically and shook her head in disbelief. Then, she seated herself on the other side of Yuuri. “It was more of a complaint than anything. All Viktor had to say after I finished my free skate were those exact words. Not very encouraging words from a former rinkmate.”

“I must’ve read the post then.” Yuuri lied and frowned at her sadly. “I'm sorry, Mila.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Yurio grouched at them. “Georgi is starting so just shut up and watch.”

“Right.”

It went quiet as they watched Georgi skate with his usual dramatic performance. Just like before, Georgi put too much emotion into both his short program and free skate. When Georgi started reaching out his hand as if he were reaching out to grab someone’s hand with heavy tears falling out of his eyes, Mila and Yurio started snickering in amusement. By the end of his free skate, they were gripping their stomachs and tearing up in laughter. Yuuri only felt himself sweatdrop at the theatrics.

Georgi’s performances were always overly emotional and Yuuri couldn’t help but think it was unnecessary for Georgi to perform so dramatically and from Viktor’s silence at the display, it must’ve felt the same.

When Yurio and Georgi switched off, there was only one short comment from Viktor.

_“That was sadly anticlimactic.”_

Yuuri’s mouth twitched as he tried to contain his laugh.

When it came to Yurio, Yuuri only felt awed as the young skater easily hopped into his jumps and danced to the music with firm conviction. The intensity Yurio displayed while performing was causing Yuuri to sweat at the passion conveyed through his skating. There was only about one mistake in his short program where he touched down as he jumped into his quadruple salchow. Other than that, Yuuri was certain that Yurio will indeed make the podium at the Grand Prix Final, possibly even taking gold home.

Yuri was definitely going to make earning a spot on the podium difficult for every other male skater at the GPF. Yuuri smiled faintly as Yurio skated into his finishing pose at the end of his free skate.

Viktor, who made a few amazed comments, only continued to murmur in incredulity as Yuuri stood up when the song finished. There were only thoughts of praise and Yuuri wanted nothing more than to verbalized it to Yurio.

Yuuri smiled brightly as he walked closer to the ice rink.

_“That was amazing.”_

Yurio skated towards the stands where Yuuri, Mila and Georgi were. His wooden expression transformed into a look of curiosity at the beaming smile on Yuuri’s face.

There were so many compliments running through his head but there was only one word Yuuri was able to breathe out.

“Incredible.”

After Yuuri’s soft word of awe, Yurio turned away with a bashful frown and replied back prickly. However, Yuuri was able to see how much the praise pleased Yurio by the soft smile the teenager wore as Yuuri began leaving the ice rink.

He said his farewell to the other rinkmates on his way out. Then, Yuuri took out his phone and began whispering to Viktor, speaking in wonder about the stunning performances.

“They performed so beautifully. It makes me almost wish I hadn’t retire.”

_“You could return back to skating next year.”_

“Yeah but I wouldn’t be able to perform my best after a season of being inactive.”

_“There's plenty of other options. You could always be a coach like I was.”_

Yuuri blinked at the suggestion. That wasn't such a terrible idea. Ever since retiring, being a coach hadn’t crossed his mind once but seeing Mila, Georgi and Yuri skating made him want to be closer to the ice. Being a skater again was out of question but a coach brought endless of new possibilities.

He won't be on the ice but Yuuri will at least be able to teach skaters on how to perform excellently. Yuuri would be able to feel the same joy in seeing his students succeed the same way he wanted to.

“That's not a bad idea at all.”

Yuuri mumbled as he pulled his phone out to call for an Uber. He was just near the exit and wanted to wait inside while his Uber driver came to him.

After he was notified of his ride arriving at the ice rink, Yuuri attempted to put his phone back into his pocket but failed miserably. Instead, his phone dropped to the floor with a heavy thud.

Yuuri stared at the phone with a look of horror. It had cracked when it had hit the floor. Gasping in fear, Yuuri dropped to the ground with a loud cry and picked the phone up.

The sound of his terrified shout must’ve gained the attention of the skaters since he was quickly surrounded by Yurio, Mila, Georgi and Yakov. There were stares of confusion from them. Mila, in particular, looked like she wanted to say something to Yuuri.

However, Yuuri only ignored them and continued staring at his cracked phone with wide eyes. His phone failed to react as Yuuri pressed on the home button on his phone. Feeling panicked, Yuuri ripped out the earphones from his iPhone and placed the phone near his ear.

“H-Hello.” Yuuri stuttered in fear, his hand trembling as he held the phone close. “Are you still there?”

The only response was garbled static sounds which only caused Yuuri to panic further. He pulled the phone away from his ear, looking down at the frozen phone. Yuuri pressed on the screen with more force, wanting it to react but the screen stayed the same.

Oh no, he hurt Viktor and now Viktor will never be able to talk to him ever again.

His breaths were starting to quicken and he could feel his eyes starting to produce tears. Yuuri grasped his phone tighter and pressed it against his ear again, breathing harshly in hysteria.

“Please respond back!” Yuuri whispered desperately into the phone. “I-I’m so sorry I dropped you.”

There was no response now, not even the distorted sounds, only utter silence through the call.

“Yuuri.”

Mila touched him and tugged hard on his arm, making Yuuri realize he was still on the floor. She looked extremely concerned at Yuuri’s frazzled state. The others were only staring at him with wide eyes, probably disturbed at his alarming behavior.

“What’s going on? Are you okay?”

Yuuri shook his head fearfully, almost sobbing as he tearfully tried to explain.

“Ugh! I hurt Vi-”

Yuuri cried out before faltering. He couldn’t just tell her he had been talking to Viktor. Mila would just look at Yuuri like he was crazy, as well as the others.

He needed to pull himself together and remind himself that Viktor was only a software. But his heart kept racing faster and faster. Yuuri knew he was being ridiculous but it almost felt like the night Viktor had disappeared from the world. This situation couldn't even compare to that horrid day but still, Yuuri was having a panic attack that was almost as bad as that night.

Yuuri grit his teeth and dug his nails sharply into his palms, reveling in the pain that came along. He needed to calm down.

That software in his phone isn't Viktor.

It's not him.

It's not him.

It's _not_ him…

**_It’s not Viktor..._ **

Yuuri breathed in sharply and looked up, staring weakly into the worried eyes surrounding him. Then he tried to reassure them with a lie, his frail voice probably not doing much to persuade.

“I dropped my phone and it’s not working anymore.”

Mila only looked at him dubiously while Yurio mumbled in disbelief. Yuuri tried his best to ignore the scornful comment from Yurio but he felt his chest tighten in hurt.

“He’s throwing a fit over a broken phone…” Yuri murmured and shook his head with a soft scoff. “Really?”

Mila only grasped Yurio’s hand and tightened her hold until Yuuri heard the bones popping and Yurio pulling his hand away with a hiss and a glare. Mila didn’t respond back to the teen, continuing to look at Yuuri with a soft, comforting smile.

“Then how about you let me take a look at your phone? Maybe I can figure out what’s wrong.”

“No!” Yuuri shouted distraughtly, startling Mila who stepped back in surprise. “I mean I could just take care of it later.”

Yuuri looked down on his phone, which was still broken.

“My Uber ride is here, I'll just deal with it later.”

Then, Yuuri scampered off, his anxiety only continuing to grow as he exited the ice rink. He was aware of the uneasy gazes following his back but chose to ignore it.

“What’s the matter with him?”

Yurio blurted out, eyebrows furrowing in bewilderment. Mila and Georgi chose to shrug in uncertainty but they looked as baffled as Yuri.

However, Yakov only frowned seriously, narrowing his eyes critically. The old coach looked lost in thought as his expression grew grave.

“Go back to the ice rink, we don't have time to waste.” The coach said lowly but his face was still somber, betraying the worry he felt for Yuuri.

 

\---

 

Yuuri opened the door with a slam, panting as he raced to his room. After waiting in the car impatiently, twitching in agitation at the long wait, Yuuri had sprinted to the apartment after he had exited the car. He ignored Makkachin who was waiting for him at the door and shut the bedroom door with a slam once he had entered.

There were no feelings of guilt at the whimpering sounds coming from behind the door. His mind was focused on one task and that was for his phone to start working. Unfortunately, his phone had died on the way back home.

So Yuuri plugged his iPhone into a charger and prayed desperately for it to turn on. After a few minutes of pacing around the room in distress, the iPhone finally turned back on.

Once the phone turned on, Yuuri could see Viktor calling him. Yuuri lunged for the phone and answered, holding the phone close to his ear.

_“What happened?”_

“I'm so sorry.” Yuuri breathed out shakily and sat on the bed, feeling tears start to well up. “I didn't mean to drop you.”

 _“Hey.”_ Viktor hushed him with a soothing voice. Yuuri only cried harder at his fiancé’s comforting tone. _“Don't worry I'm not actually in there, dorogoy. You don't have to worry about breaking me.”_

Yuuri took off his blue glasses and rubbed his red eyes wearily. He nodded along to Viktor’s words tearfully and continued to bawl into his phone. Yuuri should stop crying. He thought he was done with it weeks ago. But instead, he was in their bedroom, torturing Viktor with his ear-piercing wails.

 _“Let’s try calming you down.”_ Viktor whispered softly and then a song began playing. It took a moment for Yuuri to realize it was the song that brought both Yuuri and Viktor together.

_Stay Close to Me._

As the strong male tenor began to sing, Yuuri felt himself relaxing. His sobs disappeared and he closed his eyes peacefully, listening to the melody that changed his entire life. With a sigh of relief, Yuuri began smiling faintly, imagining Viktor in his costume while skating majestically to the song.

It was incredible how the imitation was able to pacify Yuuri within a few seconds while the others spent minutes struggling to understand his troubles.

As the song came to a close, Viktor began speaking quietly.

_“See? It's all fine so calm down. I'm not going anywhere.”_

Yuuri opened his eyes and clutched his phone closer to his ear. Then, with a sniffle, he whispered in a scared voice.

“You’re very fragile.”

Yuuri admitted truthfully, flashing back to the night where the cops revealed the horrid news of Viktor’s death. He didn’t want to ever experience something like that again.

No…

What Yuuri _really_ wanted was for Viktor to never disappear from his life again. It didn't matter anymore that _this_ Viktor wasn't _his_ Viktor. He didn't ever want Viktor to leave him, even if it was just an impersonation of his fiancé.

Yuuri didn't think he could live through the disappearance of Viktor for a second time.

_“I was actually going to talk to you about that.”_

“What do you mean?” Yuuri croaked, eyebrows drawn together in interest.

 _“There's another level to this.”_ Viktor said softly, almost as if he expected Yuuri to burst out crying again. _“It's kind of experimental and I won't lie, it's pretty expensive and not cheap.”_

Another level?

Speaking to his dead fiance’s voice on a daily basis was hard to get around from the beginning. Yuuri didn't think it was possible for technology to be able to work like this and now the software was suggesting something bigger. How could it surpass such an unbelievable feature such as this?

Yuuri was slightly scared at the answer he’ll receive.

_“Are you sitting down? This might sound a bit creepy.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo hoo! It's winter break and I get a month off! I'm hoping that means I have more time to write my chapters! Also, the android factor of the story is finally coming in next chapter! Who is excited?! It was starting to feel like forever for me and I think I sort of have the whole story planned out already. Anyways, we're about halfway done with the story as well. 
> 
> By the way, updates might take longer because I'm going to switch between this story and my other YoI story. I didn't expect the other story to blow up the way it did but I am excited to see so many people enjoying it.
> 
> Well, until next time!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: About half of this chapter contains dirty smut plus more angst... And yet, how is this my shortest chapter in this story? :(

Yuuri stared at the enormous package on the bedroom floor nervously. He wasn’t sure if he was prepared to open it just yet. The container looked ominous but Yuuri only shook his head in determination and composed himself, trying to pull in the confidence to unwrap the package. Makkachin laid next to him quietly, looking at the large box with an inquisitive tilt to her head, while giving Yuuri the comfort he needed.

With a deep breath and shaking hands, Yuuri slowly opened the box. Even though he was expecting it for a week now, he jumped a little in fright when he saw what was in the package.

A human-sized android laid there, curled up in a fetal position. All Yuuri could see was pale skin wrapped in plastic, along with its lifelike facial features. But despite the realistic qualities to the android, Yuuri had to remind himself that it wasn’t human.

A closer look at the android had Yuuri frowning faintly. It didn’t look similar to Viktor at all. With a shake of his head, Yuuri reached for his phone and went to his camera, remembering the set of instructions that Viktor had told him once he received the box.

As soon as he opened the package, Yuuri needed to send a picture to Viktor of the android to see if there was any defects. Taking a quick snap, Yuuri delivered the photo to Viktor. Within seconds of doing so, his phone started ringing.

“Hello?” Yuuri whispered uneasily, as he studied the box in front of him, almost expecting for it to come alive. He felt nervous about the way the android laid lethargically with a blank expression on its face.

 _“I see you’ve finally got it delivered to you.”_ Viktor said to him calmly while Yuuri scrunched his face anxiously, as he continued to study the box.

The android appeared to have none of the physical features Yuuri was used to seeing on Viktor. It was pale, bald and looked average compared to his fiancé. However, Yuuri felt almost like he was in a daze as he observed it.

This was supposed to be Viktor?

He couldn’t believe he had agreed to do this. When Viktor had gently whispered the suggestion to him that day he had a panic attack, it had indeed sounded creepy but Yuuri couldn’t help but feel hopeful that day. But now, Yuuri was slightly afraid it was all going to go wrong and he was going to regret it once they managed to set the android up.

As he continued to stare at the android, Yuuri whispered hesitantly with a dubious frown.

“It doesn’t look like you…”

 _“It’s blank until you activate it.”_ Viktor explained to him, repeating the same words from the first time he had told Yuuri about the new technology. _“You should prepare the bath.”_

Yuuri barely heard the words Viktor had uttered. He was skimming his hands over the android in morbid fascination, touching the body that was wrapped in plastic. Yuuri supposed if this all turns out well, it won't be long before he’ll see Viktor in the flesh again. It's been more than a month now since he had last seen Viktor in person.

_“Yuuri.”_

Viktor said curtly, breaking the stupor Yuuri was in. The sudden sound caused him to flinch in surprise and pull his hand away. Then, Viktor repeated his words from earlier, softer this time.

_“Get the bath ready.”_

 

_\---_

 

The android was heavy and required a lot of strength for Yuuri to drag into the bathtub. As he pulled the body, Makkachin followed him closely, gazing at the both of them curiously. When he was done placing the android into the bathtub, Yuuri was sweating and panting heavily from the heavy effort.

Yuuri looked down at his clothes, dismayed at the slimy gel that seemed to be all over his attire. He touched the sticky stuff in curiosity, scrunching his face in disgust at the cold feeling.

“What is this stuff?” Yuuri asked, bringing his hands up to have a whiff. Surprisingly, it smelled really sweet and familiar. “It smells a bit like marshmallows…”

_“It’s nutrient gel and it’s supposed to stop the synthetic muscle from drying out in transit.”_

Viktor explained intelligently from his place on the bathroom sink, sounding extremely _unlike_ how Viktor usually sounded like. Yuuri pushed down the discomfort that started to swell up.

“I'll just pretend that I understood what you said.” Yuuri said dismissively, as he took off his shirt that was soaked in the nutrient gel and threw it to the ground. He could grab a new shirt after he finished preparing the bath.

Viktor chuckled phonily, sounding a lot like he did whenever he made a television appearance. In those videos, Viktor usually had a practiced grin on his face, laughing in an insincere way that made Yuuri uncomfortable.

A lot of people probably wouldn’t have been able to differentiate Viktor’s false laugh from his real one but Yuuri was able to recognize it in a heartbeat after watching numerous of interviews with Viktor. It was different compared to his genuine laugh.

That exaggerated sound was one that Viktor had never directed towards him. The laughter Yuuri usually received was always warm and affectionate, with Viktor’s melodious chuckles filling the room.

Then, there was his soft blue eyes crinkled in humor and his mouth opened wide in a heart-shaped smile. The kind expression adorned on his face conveying to Yuuri the deep love Viktor had for him.

 _“I guess I should tone down the composition of my sentence structure. I probably don’t sound like myself.”_ Viktor uttered abruptly, snapping Yuuri out of his sudden thoughts.

Even though the software sounded heavily like his fiancé, the way it sometimes articulated its words did not remind him of Viktor. With the time and money Yuuri had invested on the program, he didn’t really want there to be any mistakes.

“Please do that, Viktor. Tone it down for me.” Yuuri said almost pleadingly, before saying more softly. “Also, can you not laugh like that? It’s different when he’s with me. He usually sounds more carefree. There should be a few videos in your memory bank that you can refer to.”

Yuuri winced to himself at the demand. He didn’t want to seem like a prude about it but there shouldn’t be any harsh feelings from the software. After all, this Viktor was nothing more than a tool of technology to help him recover.

This version of Viktor didn’t even have emotions. In fact, he was a product of advanced technology. A type of futuristic machinery that Yuuri didn’t even realized existed in this time.

 _“Okay… I will.”_ Viktor replied cooperatively. After a few seconds of silence, Viktor spoke up again. _“I’m certain I’ve detected the error and fixed it. Would you like to listen to my laugh a second time to determine whether or not it’s up to your standards?”_

Yuuri stiffened at the frank words and shook his head awkwardly.

“No. I’m sure it’s fine now.”

It would be too weird for Yuuri if Viktor started laughing out of nowhere. Even though it had struck a chord inside Yuuri, he didn’t need to spend a lifetime trying to determine the right tone to Viktor’s laughter.

“So what do I do now?”

Yuuri bit his lip in frustration, furrowing his eyebrows, as he stared down at the android laying in his bathtub. The way it laid there lifelessly only continued to make Yuuri feel uncomfortable. This terrifying picture felt like a scene right out of a horror movie.

_“You need to pour the electrolytes into the bathtub.”_

Yuuri looked around the bathroom and when he didn’t find anything, Yuuri ran into the bedroom. After some digging around in the package the android arrived in, Yuuri quickly found the electrolytes. He grabbed it and rushed back into the bathroom to find Makkachin nearly in the bathtub.

“Makkachin, no!” Yuuri whispered harshly as Makkachin sniffed in interest at the android. With a sharp tug, Yuuri pushed her behind him. Makkachin sunk to the floor with a whine and stared at Yuuri sadly.

Yuuri glanced back at her with a guilty frown before turning back to the packet in his hands. He needed to complete this task before he can focus on anything else and that included his dog.

He ripped the packet open and began pouring it all over the android. The electrolytes that he was dumping into the bathtub strangely looked like fish food. Yuuri supposed it was as if he was feeding the android, with the electrolytes making sure it grows into _his_ Viktor.

“I just finished.” Yuuri quietly said, observing the android with a troubled expression.

He really hoped that this all turns out the way Viktor promised him it will.

 _“Well.”_ Viktor declared. _“You better leave him to it then.”_

 

\---

 

Yuuri sat on the couch in the living room, with a dry shirt, holding Makkachin close to him for comfort. He had just finished up everything about thirty minutes ago. Viktor had told him the whole process would take at least three hours, meaning it’ll be around nine at night when the android was complete.

Then, he had hung up, not before attempting to comfort Yuuri. He had told Yuuri that they will see each other soon. Instead of the words consoling Yuuri, he just felt more distressed about the whole situation.

In his anxiety, Yuuri started to bite his lips. He had tried to push down his abrupt thoughts earlier but now he was starting to feel a bit dubious about this whole technology. There was no way the android was going to have the same exact appearance as Viktor. The android is bound to have mistakes. Especially in this day and age where androids didn't look anywhere near human than Yuuri had expected them to look like.

Yuuri had high expectations and it was likely the android wasn’t going to look _exactly_ like Viktor. When this whole process is over, Yuuri is bound to be disappointed.

He might’ve been a little too impulsive when he made the decision to purchase the android. Now, Yuuri is gonna suffer the consequences by the damage his bank account has taken from his impetuous purchase.

Yuuri tightened his grip on Makkachin and buried his head into her soft fur. He tried to steady his breathing but it only accelerated. Yuuri stifled a soft sob, hearing her whimper in distress at his anguished cries.

He had been stupid. This whole thing was so dumb. He should’ve never opened the link to the chat messenger in the first place. Instead of helping him bounce back from Viktor’s death, Yuuri only became more dependent on Viktor.

Yuuri was falling further from his goal of moving on from Viktor. There was no way Yuuri could live his life normally now, especially not after purchasing an android of Viktor. It was just insane how far Yuuri had let himself go.

He was starting to become obsessed with Viktor, who wasn’t actually his fiancé, but a cheap imitation of him. With each passing day, Yuuri only continued to be controlled by one desire, which was to talk to Viktor.

Surely, Viktor was haunting him from his grave. Viktor was probably tormenting Yuuri for being unfaithful to him and cursed him by plaguing his everyday thoughts. Yuuri was being consumed by Viktor and he couldn’t do anything about it.

He was terrified.

Yuuri should’ve realized it the day he had a panic attack over dropping his phone that he was starting to become unstable. The infatuation Yuuri held for an inanimate object wasn’t normal by any means.

He should’ve stopped it all that day but now Yuuri was too far gone. It was only going to worsen.

The tears slipped from his eyes and dampened Makkachin’s fur. Yuuri quietly sniveled, feeling the hard impact of guilt and shame hit him. Yuuri wasn’t worthy of his fiancé. Viktor didn’t deserve to deal with Yuuri’s treacherous self.  

“I’m so sorry, Viktor.” Yuuri wept loudly to Viktor. _His_ Viktor, not the synthetic version Yuuri tried to pass for his lover.

He was apologizing because his fixation with _it_ was only going intensify with time. Despite his anxiety and doubts about the technology, Yuuri just knew that it was all going to turn out right. This android was going to look like _his_ Viktor.

Yuuri didn’t know _how_ but that it was most likely going to happen. It was bizarre how the software was able to sound exactly like Viktor in the first place. It wasn’t that far fetched that the android that will walk out of his bedroom was going to look like Viktor. Yuuri believed it to be true.

His soft cries dissolved as he calmed himself. Yuuri pulled his face away from Makkachin’s back and adjusted his glasses, rubbing at his reddened eyes.

He needed to prepare himself and crying up a storm wasn’t helping him by any means.

So Yuuri began to hum _Stammi Vicino_ softly, attempting to soothe himself and Makkachin, who began to shuffle around uneasily. He had upset her with his dreadful bawling and now she wouldn’t stop whining sorrowfully at Yuuri. With her whimpers growing more louder, Yuuri shushed her and started humming more powerfully.

Yuuri closed his eyes, envisioning Viktor’s free skate and the meaningful lyrics that came along with the gorgeous composition.

 _I_ _hear a voice weeping in the distance. Have you been abandoned as well?_

_Come now, I'll quickly finish this glass of wine. I'll start to get ready. Be quiet now._

_With a sword I wish I could cut those throats singing about love. I wish I could enclose in ice the hands that write those verses of burning passion._

_This story that has no meaning will vanish tonight together with the stars. If I could see you, eternity will be born from hope._

_Stay close to me, don’t go away. I’m afraid of losing you._

_Your hands, your legs, My hands, my legs, and our heartbeats are blending together._

_Let’s leave together. I’m ready now._

Yuuri wondered what exactly Viktor had been thinking when he picked the aria as one of his programs. He never did asked Viktor the inspiration behind choosing the song.

The meaning behind the song was beautiful and had a melancholy feeling to it, something that Viktor expressed well in his performances with his forlorn face and heart-rending movements.

He hummed the song over and over again, ignoring the loud bubbling sounds from the bathtub. He didn’t want to stress about the android at all right now. Yuuri just wanted to spend this moment to calm himself down.

As Yuuri continued to croon softly, Makkachin stopped whining and slowly fell asleep in his lap. He stroked her head gently, feeling his eyes close from exhaustion as well. His sudden burst of emotions must’ve caused him to feel weary.

He was on the verge of falling asleep when he heard soft footsteps. At the sound, Yuuri furrowed his eyebrows and stiffened. Maybe he was hearing things.

“Yuuri.”

He flinched in surprise at the sudden voice. Yuuri opened his eyes, holding Makkachin close to him when she started to stir awake. Nervously, Yuuri slowly turned his head towards the bedroom door, afraid that he wasn’t going to like the sight of the android.

When he finally glimpsed at the android, Yuuri gasped, eyes widening in shock at the appearance of the android.

Viktor stood there a few feet away, completely nude. His grey hair was short with his bangs swept to the left side of his face. The android’s light blue eyes stared into Yuuri’s own brown ones calmly. He also stood around the same height as Viktor. Everything about the android’s appearance matched Viktor Nikiforov’s physical features.

The android looked _exactly_ like Viktor.

Yuuri didn’t understand how the bland-looking android was able to transform into his fiance within two hours. The logic behind it all was insane. Maybe Yuuri really did go crazy. He wouldn’t have been surprised if he had lost his mind in the past several weeks he had started communicating with the software.

Yuuri could only gape at the android in disbelief. Then, he opened his mouth to say _something_ but he kept closing it because he couldn’t find it in him to pull together words. He sat rigidly on the couch, gawking at Viktor as his mind tried to function.

It was only when Makkachin perked up and peered at Viktor with a curious expression that Yuuri began to snap out of it. Then, her inquisitive look twisted into an hostile snarl. Yuuri jerked in horror when Makkachin started growling at the android, baring her teeth at it. He had never seen her look so feral before so Yuuri pulled her closer to him, petting her softly until her malicious barks died down to quiet grumbles.

“Shh.” Yuuri hushed her, hugging Makkachin tight when she sent Viktor a wary look. It was understandable why Makkachin was acting belligerent. She must’ve known that the android standing there wasn’t her owner.

“I guess Makkachin isn’t happy to see me.” Viktor murmured with sadness detected in his voice, causing Yuuri to glance at Viktor, studying the android closely. The android had a pout on his robotic face, conveying dejection at the dog’s actions.

He was also dripping wet on the floor while standing there naked. Yuuri supposed Viktor looked comfortable enough despite standing there with his nude body available for Yuuri’s eyes. Yuuri was briefly reminded of the time he met Viktor at the hot springs.

“Well.” Viktor smiled brilliantly at him. His change in expression from downcast to radiant was automatic, making Yuuri blink in surprise at the suddenness of it. “Aren’t you going to say anything? How’s my body for instance?”

Yuuri flushed and examined Viktor’s body. The android’s physique was exactly like Viktor’s and as for down there... Well, Yuuri didn’t want to necessarily judge the size of Viktor’s dick at this time.

“I-I…” Yuuri stuttered, before standing up abruptly, startling Makkachin from her cautious stance. “I should probably get you some clothes…”

 

\---

 

After bringing Viktor some clothes, Yuuri sat at the edge of the couch with Makkachin on the floor next to him. His arms were wrapped around his legs and he placed his chin on his knees. Yuuri bit his lip nervously and continued to just stare at Viktor silently, just taking in the sight of his dead fiancé.

Viktor sat on the other side of the couch and looked back at Yuuri curiously, before patting the seat, motioning Yuuri to scoot closer to him.

“Are you not going to come closer?” Viktor raised an eyebrow at him, before saying. “I’m fairly sure I don’t bite.”

“I’m alright here.” Yuuri mumbled, squeezing his legs tighter. He could only do one task at a time and right now, Yuuri wanted to study Viktor. It’s been forever since he had last seen Viktor in person and all Yuuri wanted to do was bask in the moment. He didn’t want to move, talk or touch the android.

Yuuri just wanted to continue observing the android’s features. The silence that followed after was pleasant enough. But Viktor must’ve wanted to break the stillness because he tilted his head questionably and asked with a worried frown.

“Do I not look like him?”

“No. You look exactly like him.” Yuuri shook his head at the absurd question and analyzed the android’s realistic face. “You look like him on a good day.”

“That’s good.”

Viktor grinned at that, looking pleased at the words and Yuuri felt his heart flutter at the beaming smile. Then, Viktor scooted closer to him, causing Yuuri to stiffen. He took Yuuri’s hands into his own. Yuuri stared down at their conjoined hands in incredulity.

The android’s hands were extremely soft, almost as if Yuuri was touching a newborn’s skin. In a fit of impulsiveness, Yuuri raised his arm and held Viktor’s cheek within his palm. Viktor was warm at the touch.

“How is this all possible?” Yuuri whispered in awe, stroking Viktor’s cheek with his thumb, reveling in the heat and smoothness of the android’s skin. The android’s hold on Yuuri’s one hand tightened as Yuuri carried on with touching him with fascination.

“It’s the texture mapping.” Viktor murmured back, as Yuuri’s one hand trailed down from the android’s cheek to his neck. “The really tiny details are visual.”

Yuuri glanced up and looked into Viktor’s sea blue eyes, enthralled at the sight, while Viktor looked back with his serene gaze. Feeling overwhelmed by emotion, Yuuri clutched Viktor close to him and buried his face into the android’s neck. It’s been way too long since he stared into his fiancé’s eyes.

“It’s really you…” Yuuri mumbled into Viktor’s neck, feeling tears leak out of his eyes. “You’re actually here with me.”

Viktor wrapped his arms around Yuuri in solace as Yuuri clung to him, sobbing again for the second time that night. However, instead of his panicked weeping from earlier, Yuuri was crying out of happiness. He didn’t think he was ever going to embrace Viktor again.

“Yeah, I’m here now.” Viktor reassured him quietly.

Yuuri pulled back, wiping his running nose with the back of his hand. He must’ve looked terrible with his tears and snot running down his face. However, the android showed no signs of disgust at his crying face, unlike how his Viktor would stare awkwardly at him, not knowing what to do.

For once, it was nice to see Viktor regard him with a composed face, despite the fact that Yuuri started sobbing hysterically out of nowhere.

With nothing but his intense emotions driving him, Yuuri leaned forward and kissed Viktor. Yuuri wrapped his arms around the android gently, before pushing their lips together. It wasn’t long before Yuuri was eagerly prying Viktor’s mouth open with his tongue, excited at the prospect of _finally_ kissing his lover again.

Yuuri moaned keenly into the kiss and explored Viktor’s mouth with fervor. It was hot and the taste of the android’s mouth was extremely sweet, like he was licking cotton candy. Yuuri decided that he liked the flavor of it and continued sucking softly at the tongue.

A soft whine slipped out of Yuuri when he realized Viktor wasn’t doing anything in response. He opened his eyes, locking his ardent gaze on Viktor, hoping that his desperate look would convey what he wanted.

Almost tentatively, like the android was uncertain on what action to take, Viktor began kissing back. Yuuri closed his eyes in relief, humming in pleasure when he felt Viktor exploring his mouth slowly before rubbing their tongues together. Yuuri groaned, feeling himself shiver from the pleasurable sensation.

Yuuri bit Viktor’s lip gently before pulling back, his cheeks warm as he panted lightly. He stared heatedly at the android, not shocked to see him looking unflustered after the whole makeout session.

Yuuri, on the other hand, felt extremely aroused. His cock was half-hard and he only wanted to take Viktor to their bedroom. It felt like years since he last kissed Viktor and he wanted to do more than just makeout with him on the couch.

“Was that enjoyable, lyubov moya?”

“Yeah…” Yuuri breathed out, staring at Viktor with lustful eyes.

Then, with a tug to Viktor’s arm, Yuuri pulled them both up from the couch. Makkachin, who was laying on the floor next to Yuuri, jumped up and started growling threateningly at Viktor. Yuuri shushed her and began dragging Viktor to the bedroom.

He left Makkachin out of the bedroom, listening distractedly at her whines, along with her scratches at the door. Yuuri pushed Viktor softly onto the bed, pressing kisses onto Viktor’s neck before clutching Viktor’s shirt and pulling it off.

“Take mine off.” Yuuri murmured against Viktor’s pale neck, before resuming to peck at the nape.

Viktor followed his demand obediently, his soft hands rubbing against Yuuri’s torso as he removed the shirt, causing Yuuri to shiver at the warm knuckles that brushed against his skin. Yuuri halted his kissing and began to press his hand against Viktor’s soft cock.

Yuuri blinked, before frowning in dismay. He palmed with more force at the area, kissing the sensitive spots on Viktor’s neck but there was still no reaction in the nether regions. It was as if Viktor was incompetent. Yuuri pulled his hand away and looked at Viktor tensely.

“There’s no history of my sexual response.” Viktor informed him. “I never posted anything online about anything sex-related, nor was there any videos you sent to me regarding our lovemaking."

A blush adorned Yuuri’s face at the info. There were a few videos that Viktor had recorded of them but it was hidden away in Viktor’s phone which was destroyed in his accident. There was the option of Yuuri recovering Viktor’s pictures and data but Yuuri didn’t have any desire to do so.

He didn’t think any of the photos or videos Viktor had taken would’ve been convenient for Yuuri to have, especially the recordings of them having sex.

“How ‘bout down there?” Yuuri whispered and peeked shyly at Viktor’s crotch. Before today, Yuuri had not bothered asking Viktor if the android was capable of engaging in sex. But to be fair, Yuuri didn’t expect himself to act this way during his first time seeing Viktor again.

“I could turn that on and off easily.”

Within seconds, there was an outline of a large, firm dick appearing under Viktor’s pants before disappearing. Yuuri gaped and gulped at the erotic sight. The android’s penis looked slightly bigger than Viktor’s had been. A furious flush bloomed across Yuuri’s face and ears.

“I could do it again.” Viktor suggested, causing Yuuri to flicker his gaze onto the android’s face.

“Yeah, please keep it like that.”

Yuuri murmured in embarrassment at his request. When Viktor’s cock stiffened once more, Yuuri shook himself out of the shyness he was feeling. He helped Viktor remove his clothing until he was once again nude.

With an excited bite to his lip, Yuuri softly grasped Viktor’s length and stroked it firmly. He did so relentlessly, until there was some sort of liquid coming out of the tip of the android’s penis. Yuuri stared at it with interest, rubbing his fingers together at the sticky texture.

Out of curiosity, Yuuri placed Viktor’s cock in his mouth, rubbing his tongue over the tip. The taste of the android’s fluids were sweet, similar to the flavor of the mouth. Moaning softly in arousal, Yuuri pulled away from the cock with a pop and stripped himself naked.

He wanted Viktor to fuck him now. More than a month is way too long for Yuuri to go without sex.

Despite his impatience, Yuuri knew he had to prepare himself properly so with a groan, Yuuri pushed himself off the bed. He rummaged through the drawers until he found lube and hurried back where Viktor was staring at him passively.

Yuuri doused his fingers with lube before pushing one of his fingers in. He winced, scrunching his face at the uncomfortable feeling. It’s been awhile since Yuuri had done anything pleasurable to himself.

Thrusting his finger in and out of his hole, Yuuri waited until he was relaxed enough before inserting more. After loosening his hole with three fingers, Yuuri decided it was stretched out enough for Viktor. With a shaky sigh, he pulled out his lubricated fingers and looked at Viktor.

Viktor looked at him with an inscrutable expression, his analyzing eyes making Yuuri stiffen a little. It was different from the passionate stares and eager groans he would receive from Viktor whenever they had sex.

Shaking his head, Yuuri wrapped his arms around Viktor and tugged Viktor on top of him as he laid on the bed. Then, he pushed his lips against Viktor’s, pleased when the android responded back by making the kiss deeper.

Yuuri jerked back to the mattress with a pleasurable sigh and stared at Viktor intensely.

“Fuck me, Vitya.” Yuuri whispered sensually, grinning in anticipation when Viktor grabbed his thighs and spread his legs. After placing Yuuri’s legs onto his shoulder, Viktor placed the head of his hot cock at Yuuri’s entrance.

A gentle push at his hole caused Yuuri to groan loudly and Viktor pushed in slowly. When Viktor was fully sheathed inside, he stayed there patiently as Yuuri panted heavily, attempting to adjust to the size.

“Keep going.” Yuuri breathed out, squeezing his eyes shut in pleasure when the android pulled out and pushed back in with more force. The pace of Viktor’s thrusts quickened until the bed was rocking against the wall and Yuuri was whining from the intense sensation of it all.

Yuuri moaned at the feeling of Viktor’s cock sliding in and out of his hole. Opening his eyes, he found himself staring at the android’s face. Yuuri furrowed his eyebrows at Viktor’s indifferent expression as he fucked himself heavily into Yuuri. It almost looked like the android wasn’t even reacting.

He probably wasn’t even breathing.

“Viktor.” Yuuri gripped Viktor’s shoulders and squeezed tighter. He whined wantonly at the android. “Make some noise for me. Please react.”

The android flickered his detached eyes towards Yuuri and softened his gaze. Within a millisecond, Viktor was staring at him fondly, a soft smile on his lips as he rammed his hips into Yuuri repeatedly.

Then, a change in the android’s angle caused Yuuri to gasp loudly. Viktor must’ve been hitting his prostate. Yuuri jerked his head back and sobbed at the sensation, moving his hand down to stroke his hard cock. At the reaction, Viktor began to ram into him harder, causing Yuuri to grasp at the android’s shoulders with more force.

"Ah, please." Yuuri begged needily as he started to tense, understanding he was about to come any second now. He rocked himself back on Viktor's erection, sighing in euphoria at the harsh jabs against his prostate.

As Yuuri moaned, Viktor joined in with his own soft groans. Yuuri breathed hard as he neared his climax and rubbed his dick more furiously, his precum allowing him to stroke it more easily. With one more rub to his cock, Yuuri arched his back and came with a stifled cry.

His semen painted his stomach and Yuuri felt himself relax, as his eyes fluttered closed in pleasure. Right after he had orgasmed, Viktor followed right after and Yuuri’s insides were filled with a warm liquid. Yuuri gasped at the familiar feeling of come filling his hole before leaking out when Viktor pulled out.

Viktor collapsed next to Yuuri, who felt his eyes closing in exhaustion but he kept his eyes open to observe the android who had laid next to him.

“You fuck like a porn star…” Yuuri muttered with slight embarrassment and scrunched his face. “How did you learn that?”

Yuuri was content with the sex but it was considerably different from the lovemaking he had with his Viktor, who would rock into him gently but with an intensity and a fervid expression that had Yuuri begging for more. Then, after Yuuri was aching, Viktor would nuzzle and shower him with kisses.

This Viktor fucked him automatically, almost like a machine. The straightforward fucking reminding him a lot of the porn videos he would watch back in the day. It was pleasurable but there was no emotion to it. It was almost like Yuuri had just fucked a stranger. The thought of it made him feel slightly guilty.

Though, it was also really good sex, almost as great of the times with his fiance.

“I have pornographic videos as a reference tool.” Viktor told him and Yuuri nodded in understanding. That would make sense.

Yuuri pulled the blanket up to his chest and snuggled closer to Viktor, finding comfort in the warmth that Viktor emitted. He shuffled around until he was cozy, before leaving a small peck onto Viktor’s mouth. With a soft bite to his lips, Yuuri anxiously whispered to Viktor.

“I love you…”

Viktor’s reply was mechanical.

“I love you too.”

 

\---

 

The piercing sound of his phone ringing stirred Yuuri awake. Groaning tiredly, Yuuri opened his eyes slowly, before choking in shock at Viktor, who was staring at him as blankly as the dead. Yuuri had flinched back, breathing harshly before gripping his chest, trying to calm down his racing heartbeat.

 _“Don’t do that.”_ Yuuri hissed out sharply, glaring in anger at Viktor. After regaining his ability to breathe, he turned the other direction, not wanting to look at the android.

“Sorry.” Viktor said apologetically. “I’m not required to sleep.”

“Well. How ‘bout you close your eyes whenever I’m asleep? You nearly gave me a heart attack.” Yuuri sputtered out in frustration, as he reached for his glasses and phone on the nightstand.

“Okay, I will.”

Yuuri rubbed his face in exhaustion and looked at his phone screen. One missed call from Yuri Plisetsky. With a soft sigh, he called back, not knowing why Yuri would call him this early in the morning.

“Hello?” Yuuri said once Yurio had picked up his call.

 _“Hey Katsudon.”_ Yuri greeted him, causing Yuuri to smiled faintly at the silly nickname. Yurio sounded happy enough through the phone. _“You have anything to say to me?”_

Yuuri raised an eyebrow in confusion. Did something happen? He wasn’t sure what Yuri wanted him to necessarily say. After a few seconds of silence, Yuuri gasped quietly to himself. How could he have forgotten? Yurio’s free skate at the Rostelecom Cup broadcasted yesterday.

Unfortunately, Yuuri didn’t watch it at all. He had been occupied by _other_ things. Though, Yuri didn’t need to know that and surely, Yurio must’ve qualified if he was calling him with content clear in his voice.

“Congratulations for making it to the Grand Prix Final!” Yuuri breathed out in excitement for the blond teenager.

 _“That took you long enough. Did you watch?”_ Yuri asked, causing Yuuri swallow nervously.

“Yeah, of course. You were amazing.” Yuuri lied, nervously biting his lips in shame.

_“I failed a lot of my jumps. I almost didn’t make it.”_

“Well, you were still stunning!” Yuuri told him reassuringly, not liking the disappointment that Yurio conveyed in his voice. Yuri was one of the best ice skaters Yuuri has met in his lifetime, besides Viktor. Yuuri was confident that Yurio was going to make it far in his professional skating career.

 _“Thanks.”_ Yurio replied hesitantly. _“I just wanted to ask you something.”_

“Sure, go ahead…”

 _“The Grand Prix Final…”_ Yurio said softly, before blurting out. _“Come to Japan in December and support me there.”_

Yuuri stilled, his eyes widening at the sudden request. The Grand Prix Final was supposed to be in Nagoya, Japan, this year. He’ll be closer to his home in Hasetsu than he has in a year. It’ll be the first time Yuuri will be in Japan since Viktor’s death.

_“Please…”_

Yurio said dimly into the phone and Yuuri frowned at the uncharacteristic tone to Yuri’s voice. He didn’t want to leave St. Petersburg but Yurio sounded like he wanted him at the Grand Prix Final severely.

“Okay, I will.” Yuuri gulped, glimpsing at Viktor, who was stared back at him solemnly. From what Yuuri remembered, the Grand Prix Final was only about two weeks from today. That wasn’t enough time for Yuuri to adjust to the android that was unexpectedly in his life.

Exactly how would Yuuri determine what to do with Viktor when the day came?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my fellow readers! Hopefully the chapter came out well. I was a bit frustrated with this one because it's fairly short and I expected there to be at least a thousand more words to it. I was going to write more porn but ahaha, I was starting to get tired. Just know that I envisioned for this chapter to have more sex scenes. Maybe if I'm up to it, I'll revise this later on. (probably not)
> 
> Also, I finally have a basic outline of each chapter of this story and I am most likely going to end this at chapter 10 so yay for planning ahead! We are halfway done! BTW, SEASON 4 OF BLACK MIRROR RELEASES TODAY!! How lucky is it that I managed to finish most of this chapter right when the season comes out. I will probably binge watch the season in the next following days. (There's this one trailer of an episode called Hang the DJ that's caught my interest and if I like it enough, I might write a story on the concept but in Viktor's POV)
> 
> I'm also trying to transfer colleges so starting next week, I might not have too much time to work on fics. Anyways, I love hearing your responses! Until next time! :)


	6. Chapter 6

After Yuuri ended his call with Yurio, he stared down at the phone for awhile in contemplation. He wasn’t certain how he was supposed to bring Viktor with him to the Grand Prix Final in two weeks. He also didn’t want to risk anyone seeing Viktor. There would definitely be looks of confusion if he were to bring the android.

People would definitely start to wonder if Viktor had risen from the dead.

But Yuuri didn’t exactly want to leave Viktor behind as well, especially not after finally getting him back in his life just yesterday. Now that he could see his fiancé again, Yuuri wanted to spend every single day with Viktor, while etching every detail of his appearance into his head.

Yuuri gnawed at his lips worriedly, furrowing his eyes at his phone screen in thought. He needed to come up with a plan soon. There were only a few days before Yuuri needed to buy plane tickets, as well as tickets to the Grand Prix Final.

“Is there something wrong?” Yuuri flinched, surprised to hear Viktor’s voice. He jerked towards the android, eyes wide.

It was going to take awhile for Yuuri to get used to having someone in the apartment again. He was too accustomed with living by himself and Makkachin. It also wasn’t like Makkachin could speak to him as well. The silence in the apartment had become the usual routine.

But now Viktor was here again which meant Yuuri was going to have to familiarize himself with having someone else in the apartment.

“N-No, nothing’s wrong.” Yuuri said hesitantly, uncertain on whether he should announce his troubles to Viktor.

The android might have a solution about the trip to Japan for him. But the indifferent stare and stiff posture that Viktor displayed had Yuuri reluctant about asking the android. It was an expression Yuuri had never seen on Viktor before.

Yuuri shifted uncomfortable and stood up, smiling tensely at the android.

“I’m just going to make some breakfast.” Yuuri said casually enough. “Come with me?”

He could think more about it another day. For now, Yuuri just wanted to relax with Viktor by his side.

Viktor smiled at him more warmly, causing Yuuri to sigh internally in relief. It was an expression that Yuuri could get used to seeing everyday. Yuuri felt his cheeks grow pink as he smiled back, more relaxed at the familiar look.

“Of course.”

Yuuri opened the bedroom door and was startled to find Makkachin waiting at the door for him. She jolted and started to wag her tail in excitement at the sight of Yuuri. However, when Viktor came up behind Yuuri, she started growling at the sight of the android.

“Ah, Makkachin!” Yuuri bent down and started petting her calmly, feeling his heart ache at the whines that escaped her as she nuzzled against his hand for Yuuri to scratch her head more.

The soft whimpers caused some guilt to swell up. Since Viktor had come into their home yesterday, Yuuri neglected to pay much attention to her. He didn’t even remember taking her out for a bathroom break, nor did he recall giving her food to eat or water to drink.

Also, it didn’t take much for Yuuri to realize that Makkachin simply wasn’t a fan of the android. If her angry growls were anything to go by, it sounded like Makkachin didn’t want Viktor near her or Yuuri. Yuuri had never seen Makkachin look so protective over him.

However, it appeared as if the android didn’t notice the hostile behavior Makkachin displayed towards him for he beamed with delight the moment he saw her.

“Makkachin!” Viktor exclaimed with enthusiasm, before squatting down right besides Yuuri. He reached out to pet the poodle, who stared at the approaching hand like it was the most dangerous threat to her life. Her friendly face was starting to morph into a cruel snarl.

“Oh, I don’t think you should touch-” Yuuri whispered uncertainty, attempting to grab the android’s arm before Makkachin could do any damage.

However, Makkachin reacted sooner than Yuuri did and with a malicious growl, she bit Viktor’s hand with a powerful snap to her jaw. Yuuri gasped in horror and tried his best to pull the limb from Makkachin’s mouth but she held onto the hand, continuing to snarl.

It was horrifying to see Makkachin treat Viktor with such aggressiveness.

“Makkachin! Let go!” Yuuri yelled at her, glaring angrily at the poodle. At the strict order, Makkachin released her grip on the android’s hand and slunk to the floor with a loud whine.

Yuuri furrowed his eyebrows at her in irritation and stood up, leading her to the front door. He opened it and sent her a strict look. Makkachin exited the apartment and Yuuri watched her sulking form with a frown.

“Yuuri, what are you doing? Are you really letting our dog go out in the cold on her own like that?”

The android said in shock, staring at Yuuri in surprise. But the emotion on his face looked entirely false to Yuuri with the way Viktor’s blue eyes remained blank, even though his furrowed eyebrows and gaped mouth attempted to convey the perplexed expression.

“She’s not yours!” Yuuri bit out harshly, narrowing his eyes at the android. He continued to defend himself. “And besides, she knows how to return to the apartment after doing her business. I’ve let her out on her own plenty of times before. Makkachin’s a smart dog.”

Everyone in the apartment complex knew that Makkachin belonged to Yuuri so they wouldn't touch her. The neighbors would just ignore Makkachin because they understood that the poodle knew how to make it back to his apartment.

Then, Yuuri shifted his gaze to Viktor’s hand, where Makkachin had tried to damage the hand. He frowned worriedly when Viktor only hid the injury behind his other hand. Yuuri wondered if it was going to bleed or scar. Hopefully, the android didn’t feel any pain when Makkachin had bit him.

Yuuri wasn’t even sure if Viktor was able to go to the hospital if the wound was deep. Would he have to take the android to the auto shop instead?

“Let’s just take a look at your hand.”

Yuuri murmured in concern and reached for Viktor, who allowed Yuuri to grip his arm without a word of protest. At first glance, it appeared as if the wound wasn’t too serious but a closer glimpse showed the teeth punctures on Viktor’s hand to be incredibly severe.

It was a wonder that Viktor wasn’t bleeding.

“I don’t bleed.”

Viktor stated mechanically when Yuuri had furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Yuuri blinked at the proclamation and frowned at Viktor’s hand. He was starting to forget the fact that Viktor was an android and that would mean he wouldn’t have the same human functions as Yuuri.

“Does it hurt?” Yuuri asked, as he stroked his finger against the wound curiously. Viktor only stared back at him, his expression the same.

Then, he pressed forcefully at the injury and looked up at the android. Viktor stared back at Yuuri impassively, showing no signs of feeling pain. With a frown, Yuuri dropped the hand and stepped back from the android.

“No, it doesn’t.” Viktor announced, before raising his hand slowly to observe the wound.

“Will it heal?”

“It will eventually.” Viktor replied flatly and dropped his arm back to his side. Yuuri looked at Viktor in skepticism but he dropped the subject. The sound of Makkachin scratching and whining, caused Yuuri to glance away from the android and walk towards the front door.

As soon as Yuuri opened the door, Makkachin tackled him to the floor and attacked his face with kisses. Yuuri giggled as she licked his face lovingly, almost as if she was apologizing her for earlier actions.

“Okay, enough!” Yuuri exclaimed with a joyous laugh, smiling brightly at the doting poodle.

Then, he directed his gaze towards Viktor, who was looking at the both of them with an inscrutable expression. Yuuri’s smile dimmed and he ushered Makkachin off him. She complied with a soft whine and sat there obediently as Yuuri stood up, surprised that Makkachin was no longer growling at Viktor like he was a threat.

“Let’s go eat breakfast. I'll make an omelette for the both of us.”

Yuuri declared and walked into the kitchen. Viktor followed him without a word of reply, staring blankly at Yuuri as he starts to collect the ingredients for the meal. Makkachin followed along, staring looking hungrily at the food Yuuri was making.

At Makkachin’s famished look, Yuuri felt ashamed. He didn't really grab her food or water and jumped to the opportunity to cook Viktor food.

“I’ll get your food after I'm finished cooking, Makkachin.”

It didn't take long for Yuuri to finish making the omelette, which was filled with spinach, mushrooms, tomatoes, onions and cheese. The omelette was one that his fiancé had enjoyed often. When Yuuri finished, he placed the omelette on a plate and presented it to Viktor, feeling incredibly accomplished.

“Tadah! It's your favorite!”

Yuuri exclaimed with a huge smile and guided Viktor to sit at the dining table, where he placed the plate in front of the android. Viktor only glanced down at the plate in perplexion, looking like he wasn’t sure what to do.

“Is something wrong?”

Yuuri asked in confusion, his smile growing strained. Why wasn't Viktor digging into it like he usually did?

Every time Yuuri would cook this, Viktor would devour it within seconds, looking awfully happy as he declared it to be “vkusno” with a beaming grin. He just wanted to see Viktor grin at him again, as well as tell him how delicious the meal was.

“This is indeed my favorite type of omelette.” The android said slowly, with a careful look on his face. “But eating isn't a necessity for me.”

“Oh…” Yuuri grimaced, feeling his cheeks redden in mortification.

That's right. Viktor was an android which meant that he _wasn’t_ going to have the same needs. Yuuri wasn’t sure how many times he was going to have to repeat it to himself before he understood that Viktor was only a piece of technology.

“I should've realized.”

“If you want me to eat with you, I can chew and swallow it. I'll just have to remove it from my body later.”

Yuuri shook his head at the bizarre suggestion. It wasn’t that big of a deal for Yuuri if the android eats or not. It would probably be more of a problem if Viktor decided to eat, mostly because it wasn’t a necessity for the android.

“No, it's fine. Just give it to me.” Yuuri mumbled, as he reached for the plate. “I'll eat it instead.”

The omelette looked delicious but taking a bite out of it wasn’t as satisfying as it was before with Viktor eating alongside with him.

With Viktor staring at him indifferently as he devoured his meal, Yuuri felt grim at the cold realization that eating by himself with the android as his company was just as lonely as eating alone in a dark, isolated apartment.

 

\---

 

The next few days, Yuuri attempted to return to his usual routine with Viktor now in his life again. However, the differences between the android and his Viktor was starting to make itself apparent to Yuuri. The slight uneasiness Yuuri felt at first was starting to grow into a more startling discomfort.

As of now, Yuuri was on his laptop in his bedroom, trying his best to ignore the android. Yuuri wasn’t exactly sure what Viktor was doing out in the living room but he often came into the bedroom to ask Yuuri if he needed anything. After days of this, Yuuri was quickly growing tired of it.

“Would you like something to eat?” The android had inquired him for the fifth time that day. The way Viktor asked him with his monotone voice was slowly driving Yuuri insane.

“No.” Yuuri said softly and went back to watching his television show on his laptop. However, Yuuri found himself pausing it after a few seconds of silence.

“How about something to drink?”

“I’m fine.” Yuuri said a little louder this time, hoping that Viktor would be able to take a hint. He didn’t want anything right now. The only thing Yuuri wanted was to watch his show in peace and solitude.

“How about-”

“Viktor, stop.” Yuuri snapped irritably, jerking his head to stare in exasperation at the android, who stood there stiffly. “You’re not my servant so stop asking me if I need anything! You’re supposed to be my fiancé, not my slave!”

At Yuuri’s heated words, Viktor blinked in perplexion on his face before it cleared up. The android looked at him with a knowing smile.

“Oh, okay.” Viktor said before approaching the bed in a sensual manner, his pace slow, as his face shifted into a look of pure seduction. The soft smile Viktor wore earlier altered into an unnatural, sultry grin. Yuuri could feel his eyes widen in surprise at the sudden change in mood as his cheeks flared up in embarrassment.

“W-What’re you doing?”

Yuuri stuttered when Viktor moved to the bed and closed the laptop in his lap, before placing it on top of the dresser. Yuuri felt his mouth grow dry when Viktor climbed on top of him, trapping Yuuri between the android and the bed. The sudden pecks to his neck caused Yuuri to flinch and his breathing started to quicken.

“Well, don’t you want to make love, solnyshko? I _am_ your fiancé, right?” Viktor purred lowly into his ear, making Yuuri gasp as he felt his groin start to stir. Yuuri bit his lips hard and tried to push Viktor away but the android only stayed in place firmly.

Yuuri could feel his body reacting to Viktor’s attempt to seduce him but his mind kept screaming to him that this wasn’t a good moment. Since the first time Yuuri had sex with the android, he avoided doing it for a second time. He was too worried and stressed about making it to the Grand Prix Final in Japan to think about making love again.

“Yeah, but I don’t want to!” Yuuri squawked in horror, squealing even louder when the android bit his ear gently. He choked on his next words. “I’m not in the mood.”

“Really? But your eyes just dilated and you’re starting to breath really hard.” Viktor murmured, chuckling at Yuuri’s poor excuse. Then, his hand trailed lower until it reached Yuuri’s lower region. Viktor squeezed his growing erection, making Yuuri moan in surprise. “Also, you’re hard right now.”

Then, Viktor forcibly pushed his lips against Yuuri’s. A soft sigh escaped from Yuuri and his eyes fluttered closed when Viktor licked his mouth open. A few heated groans poured out of Yuuri as Viktor lapped the inside of his mouth and bit his lips tenderly.

Yuuri responded back, kissing back Viktor with as much effort as the android did. He gripped Viktor’s shoulders tight, hoping for a groan or _any_ sound to come out of his fiancé. However, Viktor was silent as he continued to kiss Yuuri intensely.

After a minute of making out, Viktor began rubbing down there, making Yuuri squeeze his eyes closed as he exhaled a shuddering breath. It felt too good.

“Viktor…” Yuuri whimpered quietly, as Viktor proceeded to kiss him while massaging his clothed erection. There was no hesitance in the android’s actions, only conviction, as he continued pleasuring Yuuri.

After a few minutes of bliss and pleasure, Yuuri felt like he was going to explode. He gasped Viktor’s name and pushed the android away as soon as he felt himself growing closer to climaxing. He didn’t want to do this right now with Viktor.

“Yuuri?” The android asked him questionably, frowning at him with confusion.

Yuuri shook his head at Viktor, scooting back on the bed until he was seated against the headboard, staring silently at the android as heated pants continued to fall out of him. Viktor gazed back mutely, his blue eyes conveying unconcern. Yuuri waited until he was able to compose himself, before speaking to Viktor.

“Take Makkachin outside and bring her here.” Yuuri commanded softly, watching as Viktor nodded in understanding. “Also, sleep on the couch tonight. I just want some time to myself to think.”

“Okay.”

Viktor uttered nonchalantly, before leaving the room without a word of disagreement. It was unlike his Viktor, who would most likely pout at him for ruining a passionate moment in the bedroom and argue profusely until Yuuri relented with a sigh of defeat.

When the android left the bedroom, Yuuri bit his lips furiously and pulled down his sweatpants. Then, Yuuri reached for his hard cock, stroking at it harshly. After fondling it and rubbing at the tip for thirty seconds, he came with a soft moan. Yuuri breathed heavily and glanced at his hand covered in white cum with a detached frown.

Damn it.

 

\---

 

The next night, Yuuri was pulling at his hair in frustration at the lack of activities to do with Viktor. He couldn’t take the android out without people noticing Russia’s living legend. In annoyance, Yuuri stared at Viktor, who was sitting across of him at the dining table with a vacuous expression.

After ages of thinking to himself silently, an idea suddenly popped up in Yuuri’s head. Maybe he can take the two of them out to the ice rink. It was likely that no one was going to be in there after ten o'clock at night.

If Yuuri waited at least an hour more until midnight and play it safe, there will be no one inside. Before when Viktor was alive, Yuuri was able to gain access to a spare key to the ice rink. Viktor gave it to him from a friend at the ice rink, knowing how Yuuri liked to spontaneously show up and practice late at night sometimes.

It came in handy plenty of times and will most likely be convenient for tonight.

It’s been such a long time since Yuuri had skated on the ice. In fact, Yuuri hadn’t stepped into the ice rink since Viktor had died. There were a few times where Yuuri almost wanted to go back and enjoy the ice again but he stopped himself. It didn’t feel right.

But now, the urge to go to the ice rink was big. Yuuri looked at Viktor curiously, wondering if the android would be able to demonstrate the same ice skating skills as Viktor.

“Viktor.” Yuuri said softly, watching as Viktor blinked at the sound of his name and looked at Yuuri curiously.

“What is it, Yuuri?” Viktor said kindly, smiling at him.

“I was wondering if you’ll be able to skate if I take you to an ice rink.”

“Of course, I’ll be able to. I could skate to all my programs and if you want me to, I can jump quads as well.” Viktor said with artificial confidence, before continuing to boast. “I _did_ win five consecutive World Championships and five straight Grand Prix Finals.”

“Good.” Yuuri said but stared at Viktor with an uncertain frown. He wasn’t sure if the android will be able to pull it off or if he was playing the expected role of Viktor Nikiforov. Yuuri would have to see the android skate to find out later tonight.

Yuuri moved to the couch in the living room, interacting more with Makkachin than Viktor as he waited for it to strike midnight. The android only sat at the dining table, content with studying Yuuri and Makkachin with an unreadable expression. Yuuri couldn’t help but feel slightly uncomfortable at the incomprehensible look, opting to just play with Makkachin.

When it was finally time, Yuuri stood up and motioned for Viktor to follow him into the bedroom. Makkachin trailed after the two of them and jumped onto the bed, observing them as she relaxed. She no longer showed any signs of aggression to the android but she wasn’t cuddling up to him as well.

“What’re we doing in here?” Viktor asked, raising an eyebrow at Yuuri, who was shuffling through their closet.

“I need to find you a disguise.” Yuuri muttered, furrowing his eyebrows in concentration as he tried to find accessories. “I can’t have you leaving the apartment like that. People will recognize you in an instant.”

With Viktor’s distinct grey hair, light blue eyes and tall stature, there was no way no one would identify Viktor. Yuuri needed something to hide Viktor’s hair and his facial features. This was an issue Yuuri was stressing about for days for next week’s Grand Prix Final.

“I can do something about that.” Viktor said lightly, causing Yuuri to stop his search. Yuuri snapped his eyes to Viktor, tilting his head in interest.

“You can?”

“I’m not able to make any changes to my weight, height or hair color but I can alter my eye color and add skin marks if you want me to.”

At the new words of information, Yuuri widened his eyes in surprise. He had no idea the android would be able to change his appearance like that. Yuuri would like to know how but he also didn’t want to hear Viktor go into some intellectual rant about the mechanics of it.

“You’re kidding…” Yuuri mumbled in wonder, before frowning at Viktor. “Then, can you change your eye color to hazel and keep that until we reach the ice rink?”

“Of course.” Viktor replied in compliance, before closing his eyes.

Yuuri watched in interest, waiting at least for ten seconds before Viktor decided to open his _hazel_ eyes. He gasped in awe, feeling his eyes widen in shock at the new eye color the android acquired.

“That’s insane!” Yuuri said in utter disbelief, before stepping back to study Viktor up and down. Viktor’s hazel eyes slightly changed his appearance. It was almost as if Yuuri was staring at a whole new person. It was crazy how a minor alteration caused Viktor to look different.

“Do you want me to add anything else?”

Yuuri swallowed, as he stared at Viktor hesitantly. He needed Viktor to modify his image but it made Yuuri uncomfortable to see him change. However, for the prospect of leaving the apartment, the android _needed_ to do this.

“Yeah, can you add freckles?”

Yuuri told the android softly and watched as Viktor added a splattering of freckles on his cheeks. Then, Yuuri pointed to two spots on Viktor’s face. He led his finger to Viktor’s nose and then underneath his right eyebrow.

“Add some moles.”

Yuuri instructed hesitantly, observing in dismay when the moles appeared on Viktor’s face. The android was a step closer to not looking like Viktor Nikiforov. Yuuri supposed that was a good thing, despite the stab of disappointment in his chest.

The next task for Yuuri was finding a hat to hide Viktor’s grey hair in. Yuuri went back to searching the closet, eventually finding a black Nike cap for the android. He gave the cap to the android, who placed the hat on but his fringe fell out of it. With an unsatisfied frown, Yuuri tucked the hair inside the cap.

Then, he stepped back, scrutinizing Viktor’s new appearance. Despite all the changes, it wasn’t enough. Yuuri could still recognize elements of Viktor in the different look. Taking a closer glance at the android, Yuuri decided it might be the eye shape.

So Yuuri returned to the closet, searching for his spare pair of glasses. When he finally found it, Yuuri popped the glasses onto the android’s face. This was a lot better than before. Wearing glasses did a lot to change Viktor’s image.

“Okay, that’s good…” Yuuri whispered but still uneasy about the android’s new look. “But when we’re alone at the ice rink, can you change it back?”

“Of course.”

“Also, when we head to the Grand Prix Final in Nagoya next week. Can you remember to alter your looks the same way as tonight?”

Next week in Japan, if Viktor could alter his looks, he won’t stand out as much. Considering the fact that the competition was also taking place in Yuuri’s home country, It would most likely be best if Yuuri didn’t draw too much attention to himself as well.

If people were to start noticing Yuuri, they would also want to know about the companion by his side and that was the last thing Yuuri wanted to happen. He would need to start thinking about a disguise for himself too.

“We’re going to the Grand Prix Final?”

Viktor said with a growing smile, making Yuuri feel flustered at the question. This was the first time he was bringing this up to Viktor. He didn’t know why he felt like he needed the android’s approval about the subject. Though, Yuuri supposed it would be nice if Viktor could agree to all his choices.

“Yeah. I want us to go and support Yurio, Chris, Phichit and the others.” Yuuri said, before dismissing the subject. “Let’s just go ice skating. It feels like I’ve been waiting forever.”

Then, with a tug to Viktor’s arm, Yuuri dragged Viktor out of the apartment and out to the road where their Uber driver was waiting for them.

 

\---

 

At the ice rink, Yuuri was relieved to see no one inside. It was extremely silent and dark once they walked inside.

After turning on all the lights, Yuuri instructed the android to change his appearance back to normal which he was able to do with no problem. He removed the cap and the glasses so he could recognize Viktor better. At the sight of his fiance’s blue eyes and unblemished skin, Yuuri felt like he was able to breathe more easily again.

Yuuri dragged Viktor into the locker room and strolled up to his own locker. Yuuri opened it and was surprised to see all his skating gear inside. A quick trip to Viktor’s old locker showed for it to contain all of his stuff as well. That shocked Yuuri more than finding his own gear in his locker.

Yuuri handed Viktor his skates and quickly went back to his locker to grab his own skates. They both placed the ice skates on, along with the skate guards. Then, Yuuri grabbed Viktor’s arm and tugged him towards the ice rink with a smile.

“Come on.” Yuuri said with excitement, as they neared the ice rink.

He swiftly removed his skate guards and sped onto the ice, skating with a joyous grin. He held out his hand towards Viktor, who grabbed it with no hesitation as he joined the ice alongside Yuuri. The two of them cruised around in a circle with their hands still locked with each other. They kept this up for minutes and Yuuri had to admit that he has never felt more relaxed in months.

“This is nice.” Yuuri murmured happily and looked at Viktor with a content smile. However, he quickly tensed at the sight of Viktor’s impassive blue eyes, once again disgruntled by the lifeless gaze.

At Yuuri’s frustrated stare, the blank expression on the android’s face softened into a small smile and mirthful eyes. Yuuri exhaled heavily in irritation, before releasing his grip on Viktor. He skated away with a stiff smile, turning his back on the android.

“I’m going to skate by myself now.”

Yuuri drifted away from Viktor, who stood there on the ice in confusion, most likely not knowing what do without any instructions. Yuuri skated and allowed himself to wander into his own head. He threw himself into performing the step sequences to his old routines, such as Eros or Yuri on ICE, before moving onto his newer routines.

He was a bit rough when it came to his jumps. Yuuri stumbled on his triples for awhile but when he finally succeeded in jumping them after ten minutes, Yuuri proceeded to land a quadruple toe-loop.

Then, he tried a quadruple Salchow but failed the first couple of times before finally landing it. Grinning in satisfaction, Yuuri attempted his last known quad, which was a quadruple flip. It took around twenty tries before Yuuri was able to land it successfully.

After more than an hour of this, Yuuri finally glanced at Viktor, who was _still_ in the same spot as before, studying Yuuri in an unfathomable stare. With a thoughtful nip to his lips, Yuuri skated up to Viktor and touched his arm gently. At the sudden touch, Viktor blinked and shifted his gaze onto Yuuri.

“Can you skate one of your free programs for me?” Yuuri asked, wanting Viktor to skate instead of standing there frozen on the ice like a clueless person.

“Of course. Which one would you like to see?” At the question, Yuuri blurted out the first answer that came into mind. The free program was one that has remained his favorite for the significance it held to both Yuuri and Viktor.

“Stay Close to Me.” Yuuri pulled out his phone to open his music app. “I have the song on my phone for you to skate to.”

“Excellent choice.” Viktor grinned at him insincerely.

Then, Yuuri skated away as soon as Viktor moved into his starting position. Hesitantly, Yuuri pressed to play the music on the loudest volume possible on his phone. The android jerked into action, imitating the same exact moves as Viktor. As the first quad was approaching, Yuuri found himself tensing in anticipation.

Viktor lurched into a beautiful quadruple loop and continued to follow through on his step sequence, a close replicate of the other performances. Then, he tackled the quadruple flip with success as well. He continued to sway to the music, perfectly on time, and launched himself into a splendid flying sit spin. The quadruple Salchow and his last quad, which was a toe loop, was just as impressive as his other superb jumps.

As Viktor finished up with a combination spin and positioned himself into his final pose, Yuuri looked at the android with a heedful stare, a soft frown on his face. The step sequence, spins and jumps were just as flawless as Viktor’s had been.

The performance was an amazing feat that Yuuri felt like no human would’ve been able to pull off, extremely fitting for a skating prodigy like Viktor Nikiforov, whose skating was simply out of this world. It was incredible how the android was able to pull it off smoothly. He played the part of Viktor Nikiforov with the same skill and success.

However, the android lacked the intense emotions that Viktor displayed into his competitions. The yearning and loneliness that Yuuri experienced alongside his fiancé as he skated was no longer present as the android performed. He felt absolutely nothing during the free skate.

Yuuri expected to feel disappointed at the fact but at this point, there was only feelings of resignation of the current situation. It wasn’t like Yuuri expected the android to be a hundred percent like Viktor. There was bound to be some flaws and it appeared as if the android’s lack of emotions were going to be a problem.

Maybe if he believed it enough, Yuuri could act as if Viktor was now a sociopath.

“Was it brilliant?” Viktor skated up to him, flashing him the same hollow smile Yuuri had been seeing for days. Yuuri swallowed uncertainty and glanced away. He wasn’t sure what to tell the android and he didn’t exactly want to lie as well.

“I thought it was just-”

Yuuri was cut off by the sound of a door slamming close, jolting in surprise at the abrupt noise. He jerked his gaze towards the racket and looked back at Viktor with wide eyes. There was no way someone was here. It was well past midnight.

“Did you hear that?” Yuuri whispered harshly, slightly panicking at the thought of someone seeing Viktor. He wasn’t sure if his mind was making crap up but he needed Viktor to tell him quickly.

“I did.”

Viktor murmured back softly, nodding his head in agreement. At the reply, Yuuri tensed up, looking back in paranoia. If Viktor was right and someone was inside, Yuuri needed to hide the android quickly.

With a muttered curse, Yuuri jerked Viktor out of the ice and pushed him towards the direction of the restroom. When the grey haired android glimpsed back at him in unsureness, Yuuri whispered impatiently for him to hide. Then, Viktor was gone within a flash.

Sweating nervously, Yuuri turned towards the direction of the ice rink, waiting to see exactly who would come this late at night. About thirty seconds, the perpetrator finally walked into the dimly lit room. Yuuri flinched in surprise when the person turned and locked gazes with him, before cursing out loud in aggravation.

“What’re you doing here?” Yurio snapped at him, narrowing his green eyes at him. “It’s too late for you to be here.”

At the spiteful words, Yuuri found himself wondering the same exact thing. It’s too late at night for a young teenager like Yurio to be out. There were plenty of dangerous situations that Yurio could get himself into.

“Isn’t it the same for you?” Yuuri replied quietly, shuffling awkwardly at Yurio’s sharp gaze.

“I’m practicing for the Grand Prix Final, idiot. I'm leaving for my flight tomorrow.” Yuri scoffed at him. Then, he walked closer to Yuuri, studying him intensely. Yuuri froze anxiously under the keen stare. The young blond often had the ability to make him feel on the edge. “Why are you here? Did you find yourself missing the ice?”

“Maybe…” Yuuri whispered melancholy, watching curiously as Yurio’s fierce stare diminished into a dismayed look.

“Well, I’m about to practice. Would you like to watch?”

Yuri offered casually, his green eyes glinting in light hope. Yuuri bit his lips, wanting to say yes, but then he remembered that Viktor was hiding and he didn’t want to risk the possibility of Yurio finding him. If that happened, Yuuri couldn’t even begin to imagine how furious Yurio would be.

“Actually, I should be leaving. It’s pretty late.”

Yuuri watched as the hopeful gleam in Yuri’s eyes died. The blond looked at him impassively and turned away towards another direction.

“Whatever, then.” Yurio muttered under his breath with annoyance. The young teenager then started walking towards the locker room, before freezing. He glanced at Yuuri with a frown. “Have you packed yet?”

“What?”

“Have you packed yet?” Yuri spoke loudly and slowly, articulating his words more clearly like Yuuri was an idiot who didn’t know how to speak English. At Yuuri’s blank stare, Yurio sighed at him like a displeased parent. “You know, for the Grand Prix in one week?”

“Oh…” Yuuri said quietly, his face expressionless.

He hadn’t even bought tickets for the event yet, along with plane tickets. After that, he was going to have to figure out what hotel. Yuuri was too busy worrying about what to do with Viktor.

But since he had it all figured out with Viktor earlier today, he was going to buy them in the morning. It was a little late for him to be doing all of this last minute but it was still possible, albeit expensive.

“I haven’t purchased any tickets yet.”

At his confession, Yurio glared disbelievingly at him. A few awkward laughs escaped Yuuri at the exasperated look.  

“Seriously?”

“I was going to do it in the morning.” Yuuri mumbled, his cheeks starting to warm up in embarrassment. “I swear.”

“You better…” Yurio turned away with an irked huff, before strolling towards the locker room. There was no words of farewell between the two.

Once Yuuri was certain Yuri was inside, he darted towards the direction of Viktor. He entered the men’s restroom in a panic, scrambling to find Viktor and leave as soon as possible. He didn’t need Yurio discovering the android.

Luckily, Yuuri found Viktor hiding in one of the stalls. Viktor’s aloof stare drilled into him as Yuuri grasped the android’s arm firmly and with a sharp pull, he dragged Viktor out of the bathroom. Yuuri carefully peered around him, making sure Yuri wasn’t going to suddenly pop up out of nowhere.

When they finally made it to the entrance, Yuuri grabbed the hat and glasses he left behind at the front. Then, he exhaled in relief and turned to Viktor with clear exhaustion, smiling at the android tiredly.

“Come on.”

Yuuri whispered reassuringly, moving his grip from Viktor’s arm to his hand. Viktor squeezed back gently, smiling contently back at Yuuri.

“Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this chapter was exciting enough. I kinda felt like it was pretty boring for some reason but anyways, the Grand Prix Final will finally be in the next two chapters. I'm eager to get to that. 
> 
> Also, if you're enjoying this story, maybe you'll like my new fic that I uploaded last week called Reality Check. It's similar to this, regarding the fact that they're both inspired by Black Mirror episodes and some things might parallel from each other. I thought about making a story about the new episode, Hang the DJ, but I was liking the other concept I came up with more. So check it out if you're interested, I'll most likely will start uploading for it after I finish this one. 
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Comment because I love hearing your responses as well! :)


	7. Chapter 7

“I'm heading to the Westin Nagoya Castle.”

Yuuri told the taxi driver in Japanese, as the older man helped pushed his luggage into the taxi. Viktor trailed behind him, his face hidden beneath a hat, scarf and glasses. The android was in the same disguise from the night they went ice skating together. Yuuri was also hidden beneath a pair of hat and scarf but he wasn’t sure if it was a decent disguise.

They were currently located at the Nagoya Airport, taking a taxi to their hotel. The Grand Prix Final was supposed to take place tomorrow which meant Yuuri had an entire day to himself, along with Viktor. Though, he had no plans to leave the hotel once they arrived. Yuuri didn’t want to risk people recognizing him, especially since he was in his home country.

When he traveled home to Hasetsu after graduating from Detroit, Yuuri was surprised on how fast he was recognized by the public. He wasn’t aware he was _that_ popular after coming in last at Sochi.

“So, what are you in Nagoya for?” The taxi driver asked him flatly in their language, not appearing too excited to hear Yuuri’s response.

“I’m here to watch the Grand Prix Final.” Yuuri mumbled tensely, reaching to hold Viktor’s hand.

It was comforting to feel the warmth of Viktor’s skin, even if the android didn’t react as fondly as his Viktor. When Viktor didn’t clutch his hand in return, Yuuri squeezed tightly, hoping the android could take the hint. Eventually, Viktor gripped his hand tightly, causing Yuuri to smile lightly in satisfaction.

“Oh really?” The older Japanese man said roughly, before scoffing. “It’s a shame there’s no competitors representing Japan this year.”

Yuuri swallowed nervously at the statement. It was indeed unfortunate that Japan did not have any competitors in the Grand Prix Final. From what Yuuri had heard, Minami made it to his second qualifier before failing to make it to the next round. Yuuri was ashamed to say he hadn’t kept up with skating since the android barged into his life.

“I bet if Katsuki Yuuri competed, he could’ve made it to the finals.” The taxi driver stated abruptly, startling Yuuri from his thoughts. He bit his lips nervously, eyeing the older man in uncertainty. Yuuri wasn’t sure if the man suspected him to be the figure skater he was talking about.

The way the taxi driver peered at Yuuri through his rear view mirror with his beady eyes only failed to make him feel better. The paranoia towards the man only swelled as the man continued to stare at him. Yuuri breathed in deeply and leaned his head against Viktor’s shoulder, instantly noticing the way the man’s eyes flickered to the sight of the two of them.

“Yeah.” Yuuri croaked, before focusing his gaze out the window.

He didn’t attempt to further the conversation, wanting nothing more than to arrive at their hotel already. Viktor was clever enough to stay silent throughout the whole car ride. Yuuri wasn’t sure if Viktor understood the swift Japanese that he was using with the taxi driver. Though, considering the fact that Viktor was an artificial intelligent being, the android must have all the world’s languages implanted in his memory bank.

Yuuri was just glad that the taxi driver didn’t attempt to speak again. The man only focused on the road after that. It wasn’t long before they arrived at their destination which was a lovely hotel that was located next to a lake. The Grand Prix Final was only a five minute drive from the hotel. Yuuri also made sure that the participants were in an entirely different location before purchasing a room in the Westin Nagoya Castle.

He didn’t want to make the mistake of running into them. It would be dreadful for Yuuri to try and justify who Viktor was and if they see past the android’s disguise, then Yuuri would have a lot of explaining to do. Even though Yuuri was wearing accessories to cover himself up, he figured his friends would be able to identify him. Yuuri’s disguise was mostly for his fans.

After receiving their hotel card, Yuuri dragged their luggage to their room, with Viktor following not too far behind him. They had a long day ahead of them before the Grand Prix Final started the next morning.

 

\---

 

Yuuri’s phone was rather popular that particular evening. His iPhone wouldn’t stop blowing up with notifications since he first landed in Nagoya. There were plenty of people that wanted to know if he made it to Japan safely. He decided to ignore the texts. The less they knew about where Yuuri was, the better it was.

Viktor, who was sitting on a sofa from the other side of the room, made a remark on it after his phone ringed for the eighth time. The android was staying on the other side of the room, mostly due to Yuuri’s request.

He was also stripped of his previous disguise, now looking just like his lovely fiancé. His silver hair was on display for Yuuri, while his arctic blue eyes stared impassively into his own pair of brown orbs. He was seated on the couch rigidly, almost looking like a porcelain doll.

“That’s a lot of texts I’m hearing from your phone.” Viktor said, a feigned smile upon his lips. “Do you have a secret lover I’m not aware of?”

“Of course not.” Yuuri griped back irritably, narrowing his eyes at the android. Despite the supposedly teasing note in Viktor’s voice, Yuuri couldn’t help but feel slightly offended. Not in a million years would he ever cheat on Viktor. “It’s just family and friends.”

With a grumpy frown, Yuuri checked through the text messages. He wasn't surprised to find texts from his family and skater friends. Though, he was most stunned by a text from Yakov Feltsman. He didn’t think the older man would ever attempt to contact him after the night Viktor had died. But it appeared as if the Russian coach wanted to know where he was staying, along with others who asked the same.

Yuuri skimmed through all the messages, considering whether or not he should reply to them. After another text popped up on his phone from Phichit, inquiring Yuuri whether he was free that night to go eat with the fellow competitors, Yuuri decided to reply so he could inform them that he wasn’t up for a gathering.

He texted up a quick message to send his friend.

 

_I’m not in the mood to meet up tonight. But I will be cheering you all on during tomorrow’s short program. Good luck!_

 

After directing the message to Phichit, Yuuri shut off his phone. He’ll turn it back on the next morning and he was certain Phichit would relay his message to everyone currently in Nagoya. All Yuuri wanted to do was stay in the hotel and relax until the Grand Prix Final tomorrow. He wasn’t feeling lively enough to go out and hang out with his friends.

He also didn’t want to leave Viktor behind in the hotel. Yuuri was slightly worried that the android would wander off or the staff would enter his room to clean if he were to leave. So staying in their room was the best option for them. Even if it was slightly boring to lay around in a tiny room for the rest of the day.

Sighing softly, Yuuri laid his head against the pillow of the soft bed and closed his eyes. The plane trip from Saint Petersburg to Nagoya was extremely tiring. It was like the long ride had drained the energy from him. He was also appeared as weary as he felt with his disheveled hair, dark eye bags and ashen complexion.

It was slightly unnerving to see Viktor look so unruffled from the trip. Seated on the couch, Viktor was poised and composed, clearly not exhausted after the long hours on the plane. Yuuri didn’t expect much less from the android, who didn’t require an ounce of sleep.

Once again, Yuuri found himself comparing the android to the real Viktor. With plane trips like this, Viktor never looked less than godly in Yuuri’s eyes but it was obvious that the man would be worn out from the lengthy rides. Though, he looked like perfection to Yuuri, it was easy to point out the tangled hair, dark circles and fatigued smile Viktor would flash at his enthusiastic fans waiting at the airport.

Viktor would look similar to how Yuuri would after a fifteen hour plane trip. After all, he was a human being that ran on sleep. Viktor contrasted with the android, who was very much the same to Viktor in many ways, except for the robotic manner it would act in at times.

“Viktor, come to bed with me.” Yuuri said in a whim, slowly opening his eyes to look at the android. The deadpan stare he received in response failed to surprise him at all. This wasn’t exactly Viktor who he was speaking with.

Yuuri was starting to acknowledge that both the android and Viktor were two different entities. There was Viktor, _his_ fiancé, who he held very dearly to his heart. Then, there was Viktor, the android, who would simply play the role of his beloved fiancé, merely a replacement for Yuuri.

It was a well done persona but Yuuri knew his Viktor too much and it was starting to get harder for him to treat the android the same way as Viktor. It hasn’t been even a month since he received the android but Yuuri realized he was getting close to losing his sanity.

It won’t be long before Yuuri crumbles apart with guilt and frustration. But even then, Yuuri wasn’t sure if he was willing to let the android go. His obsession with Viktor was too out of control for Yuuri to even try to handle it.

“Of course, lyubov moya.” Viktor approached the bed automatically, laying next to him without a word of complaint, as if he were a docile prostitute. Yuuri immediately laid his head on Viktor’s chest, craving the warmth the android emitted.

As Yuuri braced himself to say the loving words he always uttered to Viktor, he was dismayed by the fact that he didn’t even have the sensation of Viktor’s chest rising and falling to comfort him. Yuuri swallowed dryly and clenched his teeth in disappointment, loathing himself for the next words that fell out his mouth.

“I love you, Viktor.”

The android smiled back, his frosty grin wide, as his aloof blue eyes crinkled in cruel merriment.

“I love you too, Yuuri.” Frowning in defeat, Yuuri closed his eyes in exhaustion, listening for a heartbeat that wasn’t there. He tried to fall asleep, attempting to ignore the insincerity behind Viktor’s pretense tone.

The scathing words were as frigid as the freezing winters of Russia.

 

\---

 

_“The final round is about to begin here in Nagoya!”_

The announcer spoke loudly through the speakers. Yuuri and Viktor were already seated in the stands. When Yuuri bought his tickets, he made sure that the seats were a bit further back than usual. He didn’t want to risk the chance of someone recognizing him if he sat up too up front.

From what Yuuri knew, the final competitors appeared to be opponents he recognized from the previous year. Among the top six were Yuri Plisetsky, Phichit Chulanont, Christophe Giacometti, Jean-Jacques Leroy, Otabek Altin and Michele Crispino. Yuuri wasn’t too surprised with the candidates.

After Yuuri had settled on the stands with Viktor, he had pulled out his phone to turn it back on. There wasn’t as much people that texted him since yesterday. However, there was a flood of texts from Yuri, who had sent him around twenty messages.

 

**_Yurio_**

_where are you?? why haven’t you been answering my texts?_

 

There were a numerous amount of similar texts from the blond teenager. The text messages indicated that Yuri must’ve been worried about Yuuri. Though, it wasn’t long before they transferred into a more threatening tone. Yurio was furious he hadn’t been answering any of his texts.  

Yuuri moved onto the next unread message from Phichit.

 

**_Phichit_ **

_Okay, let me know if you change your mind! We would love to eat dinner with you. The others are worried about you :(_

 

After Yuuri’s text to Phichit, it seemed as if his friend had accepted the fact that he wasn’t going to be leaving the hotel room. It was nice to have Phichit backing off after Yuuri had texted him. He must’ve relayed the message to the other skaters since everyone except Yurio had stopped texting him after he had sent the message to his friend.

 

**_Mari-Onee-san_ **

_Oi, Yuuri! Are you in Nagoya? Okaa-san and Otou-san are worried since you haven’t been contacting them. Don’t make me find you and force you to call your own parents._

 

Yuuri frowned at the text, as he pondered on the last time he had called his family. It must’ve been a week after Viktor had died and time had flown by so fast after then. He made a note to call them or send them a text after the short program ended and he was back in his hotel room.

There was also one last text from a close neighbor, who was taking care of Makkachin during Yuuri and Viktor’s trip to Japan. She mentioned in her text that Makkachin was being a sweet dog and that she was sorry she missed seeing Yuuri out. However, Yuuri made sure to leave around a time no one would notice. He didn’t want any of their neighbors suspecting that he had an android based off on Viktor.

Suddenly, the announcer stated that the first skater would be performing. Yuuri was slightly surprised to see Chris take the ice, looking as provocative as ever. He expected Christ to be higher up. However, the fans were exactly the way Yuuri remembered them as the loud squeals of fans nearly deafened Yuuri as Chris took his starting position.

As usual, an alluring melody played loudly through the speakers with Chris skating a coquettish step sequence. Throughout the performance, the fans would scream piercingly whenever Chris would teasingly touch himself in spots that made Yuuri blushed profoundly. Chris was definitely more eros in his routines than any other skater and that included Yuuri’s short program from the previous year.

Towards the end of the short program, Yuuri glanced towards Viktor, wanting to discern the emotion on his face. He almost expected to see the same type of expression on Viktor’s face as before. The look of amusement, along with the deep urge in his sky blue eyes to return to the ice.

Instead, there was nothing. Viktor’s face was utterly blank as he stared lifelessly at the display before him. Yuuri almost forgot about the disguise he made Viktor put on before they left the hotel room. Viktor's impassive hazel eyes and marks on his face distinguished the android apart from his fiancé, along with the glasses and cap he hid his silver hair beneath.

Yuuri didn’t know why he even hoped to see an emotion on the android’s face. The android wasn’t able to convey emotions that well unless Yuuri demanded for him to express it. There were some instances that Viktor was able to project expression but those moments seemed rare.

He wondered how much he was staring at the android with rose-colored glasses when they first met that he didn’t notice the indifferent behavior of Viktor. It was now much clearer to Yuuri how emotionless the piece of technology was compared to the first time.

Yuuri looked away from Vikor bitterly, barely realizing that Chris had just finished his short program and was blowing kisses to the audience. The android didn’t bother talking to him and only continued to stare dully at the ice rink.

The next skater who came up was Michele but Yuuri barely paid attention. His mind was occupied with distracting thoughts, drawing him away from the performance. Yuuri barely registered the flubs in Michele’s jumps or the stumbles in his step sequence. It was only until Michele entered the Kiss and Cry with a look of disappointment that he realized it was over.

Then, to his utter surprise, the following person after Michele was Yurio, who approached the middle of the ice rink with confidence. Yuuri briefly remembering Yuri telling him that he barely made it to the Grand Prix Final but from the looks of it, Yuri did better than he made it all out to be.

As Yuri began skating, Yuuri could see the improvement in the short program compared to the first time he saw it. The footwork was light and he effortlessly conveyed the emotions in his performance very well. Despite complaining to Yuuri how he failed his jumps, Yurio did a fantastic job on his jumps. His quad jumps were flawless and the young skater did it gracefully.

Yuuri felt a dull ache in his chest, as Yuri continued to skate powerfully on the ice rink. With the blond skater basically performing a perfect execution of his short program, it provoked a desire for Yuuri to be down there as a competitor.

If he had continued skating after Viktor died, would he have been able to surprise the world like Viktor would have done? Yuuri remembered a fair amount of Viktor’s programs before he passed away. It was just as beautiful as Viktor’s other performances. Yuuri found himself enamored in the programs. Viktor would have made it very far if he had the chance to perform it for the world.

However, his own performances were a different story. Yuuri wasn’t certain if his programs were decent but Viktor thought differently. He _loved_ the arrangements that they had prepared together, just like how he _loved_ Yuuri.

Phichit began performing on the ice, his short program going unnoticed by Yuuri, who once again fell deep into contemplation about the same person who filled his mind a lot as of recently.

Love. It was a complex emotion that humans felt. When Yuuri fell in love with Viktor, he felt the euphoria of being with Viktor. At night, his mind was heavily occupied with the silver-haired man that he lost precious sleep. When Yuuri was in the same room as Viktor, he could feel his body trembling in exhilaration, along with a racing heart and accelerated breathing.

Love was an emotion the android wasn’t able to perceive. The android didn’t know how it felt to be consumed with love. Yuuri found himself thinking of Viktor a lot these days, especially during the moments where he would compare the android to his fiancé.

Viktor, whose heart-shaped smile would greet him every morning, as Yuuri woke him up for practice. Viktor, whose bright blue eyes would twinkle in adoration, whenever Yuuri would foolishly mess up. Viktor, who would whisper, _“I love you,”_ in the most tender voice ever as they made love.

Viktor, who cried tears of sorrow whenever Yuuri told him his decision to quit. Viktor, whose cheeks would flare up in aggravation, whenever Yuuri would leave a clutter of mess in the apartment. Viktor, who would shout at Yuuri in fury one night, before apologizing the next day with shameful tears in his guilt-ridden eyes.

Viktor, who declared to Yuuri in sheer confidence, _“We’ll win gold. Then, we’ll get married,”_ as they passionately took pleasure in each other’s bodies while stating their profound love to each other.

Yuuri loved every emotion of Viktor’s whether it was happy, sad or even mad. It just made Viktor a much more complex human being than he had expected his idol to be in his teenage years. Viktor was perfect the way he truly was.

As Otabek took the stage, Yuuri realized he wasn’t going to be able to sit still and pay close attention. His impetuous thoughts were quickly overtaking his mind until only Viktor was his main concern.

Yuuri peeked at Viktor, the android, who only continued to stare at the stage robotically. He sighed sadly and stood up, causing the android to look at him in basic curiosity.

“Come on.” Yuuri whispered softly, pulling on the android’s arm to make him stand up.

“We’re leaving already?” The android blinked, before complying to the tug to his arm. “There’s two more performances to go. Are we not watching them?”

“Yeah, we’re leaving. I’m feeling pretty tired.” It wasn’t exactly true but he just wanted to leave. Though, Yuuri supposed he wouldn’t have needed an excuse. The android would’ve listened to him without a single complaint.

Thankfully, no one paid them much attention as they exited the stands. It was only when they wandered closer to the exit that they ran into a problem. A young Japanese teenager, who must’ve been in her high school years, approached them. At the sight of her walking up to them, Yuuri panicked and froze in his spot.

He thought he was busted. Someone must’ve recognized Viktor in his disguise, despite the news of his death spreading the world. However, as the person came up to them and opened her mouth, Yuuri was relieved when she proved herself to be a fan of Yuuri. Nothing more than that.

Though, that must’ve meant his disguise didn’t work out very well. With a beanie, scarf and glasses, Yuuri wasn’t sure his disguise was any good at all. Yuuri was only glad that Viktor’s disguise was pulling through.

“Aren’t you Katsuki Yuuri?” The supporter exclaimed eagerly in Japanese, quivering in disbelieving eagerness. Her enthusiastic grin was wide as she exclaimed, “I’m such a huge fan of yours! I loved your free skate last year! It was so gorgeous and you should’ve totally been the one that won gold!”

“Ah, yes! I’m Yuuri. Thank you for supporting me.” At the statement, the girl squealed in excitement, before placing a hand out. Yuuri shook the hand weakly, smiling tiredly at the girl.

Then, her keen gaze flickered over to Viktor, assessing his entire body from top to bottom. Eventually, her observant stare began evaluating Viktor’s vaguely different face. Yuuri stiffened at the analyzing look towards the android, wanting nothing more than to pull Viktor and leave. Though, Yuuri pushed down the urge and stayed still, simply waiting for the fan to say something. He didn't want to give the fan a reason to suspect.

Yuuri had nothing to worry about. Viktor was mostly unrecognizable with his hidden silver hair, hazel eyes and marks on his face. Though, Yuuri supposed the android had the same facial structure and physique as his fiancé.

“Is he your boyfriend?” The fan eventually asked, clearly butting into Yuuri’s personal life. Yuuri smiled in slight discomfort at the intruding question, as he drilled his mind for an answer in alarm.

Though, to Yuuri’s silent objection, Viktor soon answered for the both of him,

“Yes.” Viktor replied in perfect Japanese, causing Yuuri to tense in shock, and he flickered his eyes towards the android in silent horror. He could feel the color draining from his face as Viktor continued to speak in Yuuri’s native language. “We love each other a lot!”

Yuuri wasn’t even aware the android was able to speak in a different language. After all, his Viktor clearly didn’t know a lot of Japanese. The few words his fiancé were able to speak were usually heavily doused in a Russian accent. It must’ve been an odd display for the fan, with a white foreigner speaking Japanese fluently.

At the words, the supporter squinted at the android, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. At least that’s what it looked like to Yuuri.

“Oh, really?” The fan asked uncertainty, her face looking slightly troubled. Yuuri assumed it must’ve been a shock for her to hear that Yuuri moved on from his fiance who passed only three months prior.

“I mean we are lovers!” Viktor exclaimed with a nod. However, his face was clearly blank at his declaration, only a hint of a heartless smile that merely hinted his affection for Yuuri. At the girl’s doubtful look, Viktor continued to pronounce his love for Yuuri, albeit dispassionately. “I love my Yuuri very much!”

In growing panic, Yuuri tried to direct the girl’s attention to himself. He didn’t need the high school student staring any harder at Viktor than necessary. He also didn’t need Viktor ruining his image to the public any further.

“Yep! We love each other tons!” Yuuri smiled brightly at the girl, feeling his face strain at the effort of expressing joy on his face. Then, he looked at Viktor with a fond look, which was slightly tough considering the android no longer had the same appearance as his fiancé. “It’s been really tough for me since Viktor died but Alexei has really helped me cope with his death.”

The fan fell for it, as a sympathetic expression descended upon her face. She looked at him with a downcast frown, along with a pitying gleam in her eyes, causing Yuuri to scream internally in frustration. He downright loathed the look of sorrow on the fan’s face. She didn’t understand how horrible it was to be on the receiving end of such an expression.

“I’m so sorry for your loss. When I first heard about Viktor’s death, I cried for like a week.” The teenager said mournfully, causing Yuuri’s smile to falter. Thankfully, the android kept silent at the statement. “I’m glad you found someone to help you move on.”

Yuuri slightly flinched at the statement, grimacing at the fan’s words. Her proclamation couldn’t have been further from the truth. He hadn’t carried past Viktor’s death at all. If anything, Yuuri was just as awful at coping as the first week after Viktor had passed on.

“Thanks…” Yuuri mumbled awkwardly, reaching for Viktor’s hand again. He was about to utter a farewell to the girl and leave the stadium. Unfortunately, the fan spoke up before he was able to talk.

“Can we take a photo together?” She said hopefully, a renewed look of delight on her face. Gritting his teeth together, Yuuri nodded tensely at the request. Minako always told him he should be friendly towards his fans.

At his nodded approval, the supporter squawked in delight, reaching into her coat’s pocket for her phone. She glanced at Viktor, before handing the android her device. Viktor looked down at it in perplexity and gave the teenager a blank stare.

“Take a picture of me and Yuuri!” The fan demanded from Viktor, who only nodded lethargically.

The teenager than gripped Yuuri’s arm tightly and pulled him closer to her. She hugged his arm and laid her head on his shoulder. Yuuri stood stiffly, smiling politely at the camera, while the fan beamed brightly. After a couple of pictures, the fan pulled away from Yuuri.

“Thank you!” The fan blurted out loudly, with a grateful look on her face. Yuuri nodded at her and advanced towards Viktor, reaching for his arm.

“I actually need to get going.” Yuuri stated softly, watching as the girl blinked before perking up. She waved at him brightly, announcing her goodbye to him with another declaration of adoration.

Yuuri forced a smile at his fan, before turning around and heading towards the exit, gripping Viktor’s arm tightly as he left the arena. As he left with Viktor’s arm in his clutch, Yuuri didn’t notice the soft sound of a camera snapping in the background.

 

\---

 

On the way to the Westin Nagoya Castle, Yuuri barely acknowledged the android. He could feel the irritation brewing and bubbling inside of him, nearly bursting out of him as infuriating thoughts corroded his head.

When they reached their hotel room, Viktor automatically removed his eyeglasses and hat, with his face reverted back to the same appearance as his fiance. Yuuri ignored the android, as he removed his beanie and scarf. He threw the clothing articles, along with his winter coat on the couch. As he did so, Yuuri could feel the analyzing stare Viktor directed towards him.

“Are you mad at me?” Viktor inquired flatly, indifference conveyed in his light blue eyes.

Yuuri peered at the android briefly, immediately turning away with a frown at Viktor’s impenetrable stare. He could feel himself cracking and falling apart at the look. At his silence, Viktor continued to talk to him.

“Was it something I did?” The question set something off inside of Yuuri, causing him to turn towards Viktor and glower at him angrily. Of course it had to do with the android. Yuuri has only had him for two weeks and it seemed like with each passing day, the amount of flaws the android had kept piling up.

“It’s every _single_ thing you do!” Yuuri snapped furiously, clenching his jaw in anger, as he began to pace around the room in agitation.

From the unmoved response to the short programs to his bizarre interaction with Yuuri’s fan, the android only seemed to be creating problems for Yuuri. He was starting to despise staring at the android’s appearance, which was awful considering that Yuuri loved gazing at Viktor when he was alive. In fact, who wouldn’t want to look at Viktor? He was dead drop gorgeous.

“What did I do wrong?” Viktor inquired, raising an eyebrow at him, causing Yuuri to stop in his agitated pacing to send the android a dirty look.

Everything. Yuuri wanted to say but didn't. Instead, he brought up his issues from that day. A few simple errors about the android’s unusual behavior that didn’t exactly match up to Viktor Nikiforov at all.  

“Viktor doesn’t speak Japanese and even if he did, he wouldn’t have spoken it as fluently as you did.” Yuuri reprimanded critically, grimacing as he recalled the moment Viktor had opened his mouth and began speaking a language he did not know.

He remembered staring open-mouthed in surprise at Viktor, as dread flooded his body at the android’s remark. Yuuri had not wanted the fan’s attention on the android at all, for fear that she might realize the android looked very similar to a certain person. Also, the declaration Viktor made about them being in love had caused both Yuuri and the fan to react in shock.

“I’ll make sure not to do that again.” Viktor stated frankly, looking unworried of Yuuri’s frustration. To Yuuri, it seemed like the android did not simply care.

“It’s not just that.” Yuuri told Viktor brusquely, wanting to bang his head against the wall in exasperation.

Yuuri could go on a rant on all the issues he had with the android and his tirade could go for an entire day. He was _so_ irritated with Viktor that he just wanted to kick him out and not deal with him for another week. He was starting to regret his decision of ever purchasing the android.

“Then, what is it?”  Viktor asked, furrowing his eyebrows together to convey a troubled expression but it wasn’t sincere enough for Yuuri. In fact, the android wasn’t enough for Yuuri at all.

“You…” Yuuri tried to jumble his messy thoughts together to form a sentence. “You need to start initiating things yourself without me telling you to do so.”

He needed Viktor to display profound emotions without Yuuri needing to nudge at him to make a specific look. He didn’t want to have to tell the android to put on a certain expression whenever it was obvious he should be conveying some sort of feeling on his face.

What he wanted was for the android’s sky blue eyes to glint with elation the same way Viktor’s eyes would brighten in excitement. He wanted the android’s smile to be extremely wide to the point that he could see all his shiny white teeth just like Viktor’s grin would do. He wanted the android’s fury to display itself in his stiffened posture and angry scowl just like Viktor did whenever he was aggravated by Yuuri.

Yuuri wanted a genuine expression from the android.

It was clear to Yuuri that the android was confused by his declaration. Viktor paused, probably trying to grasp what Yuuri exactly meant. Though, Yuuri supposed he could have formed a better sentence to explain his personal issue with the android.

After a long halt to Viktor’s actions, it appeared as if he finally understood where Yuuri was coming from with the way he jolted in realization. He peered at Yuuri with comprehension on his face and a soft smile appeared on his face.

Yuuri allowed himself to hope at the emergence of Viktor’s tender look. However, the android’s next words disappointed him.  

“Then, do you want to fuck, solnyshko?” Viktor whispered lowly to him, as he stepped closer to him in a sensual way.

“No! I don’t want to have sex! I wasn’t talking about doing anything like that.” Yuuri hollered in annoyance, as he stepped back in response, holding up a hand to gesture towards Viktor to stop moving towards him. Viktor faltered, his sultry expression slipping into an uncertain stare at Yuuri.

At the android’s usual blank look, Yuuri sighed in frustration, sliding a hand over his hair tiredly, before continuing to explain what he had meant.

“I want you to express emotions better than you do. There’s only a few times where you’re good at it but usually, you’re bad at showing any type of feelings on your face. It’s not sufficient to act human if you can’t act the role.” Yuuri said seriously, watching dubiously as Viktor nodded at him in understanding at him.

“Then, how’s this?” The android questioned, smiling at Yuuri widely as his blue eyes shined happily. In response, Yuuri made a face at Viktor, conveying his disapproval.

“No. You can’t just fake emotions whenever I ask you to. You have to react to the situation right away. You need to do it genuinely which you can’t.” Yuuri stated critically, his mouth twisted downward in displeasure.

Yuuri removed his glasses and went to place it on the nightstand. Then, he plopped down to the bed and sighed loudly, rubbing his eyes in pure weariness. After a brief glance at the motionless android, Yuuri dropped his gaze to the floor.

He gave up in trying to explain any further. The android was never going to act entirely like Viktor.

“You’re not enough of him. You’re not complex enough to be Viktor Nikiforov.” Yuuri stated bitterly, making sure to clearly indicate the disappointment in his voice. “You’re not enough for me... ”

“I am.” Viktor said immediately, causing Yuuri to flicker his eyes towards the android. He raised a perplexed eyebrow at him.

“What do you mean…?”

“I’m wearing the appearance of Viktor Nikiforov, your fiancé, which means I’m enough. At least for you. I wouldn’t think you’d be so eager to sleep with a stranger who looks nothing like Viktor.” Viktor stated flatly, his dead blue eyes staring at Yuuri indifferently. “Or would you?”

At the dispassionate words, Yuuri flinched back, feeling his cheeks warm up in shame. He looked incredulously at the android, shocked to hear such cold words being spoken. Then, he started to grow livid, his body tensing up in fury as he glared furiously into Viktor’s detached expression.

How dare that scrap of technology even suggest something like that?

“Get out…”

Yuuri grit out in frustration. When the android stood still in his exact spot, not moving an inch, Yuuri grabbed for one of his pillows on his bed to throw at him. It struck Viktor exactly in the face but unfortunately, he didn’t wince at the smack.

When Viktor refused to budge from his spot, Yuuri screamed louder in infuriation. He turned away from the android, not even wanting to glance at the _thing_ any longer.

“Get out of my sight! I don’t want you in here!”

He fumed silently, glaring in irritation at the wall. It was only when he heard the _clink_ of a door opening and closing that he turned around. Yuuri inhaled heavily as he peered at all corners of the room to make sure the android was no longer in the room. It was only when he could confirm the departure of Viktor that he was able to breath more easily.

Good riddance.

In the back of his head, Yuuri knew he should’ve been worried about Viktor leaving the hotel room. There could be people that would be able to recognize Viktor and it could create all sorts of problems for Yuuri. However, he couldn’t find it in him to care at all in that exact moment.

He was having a bad day and the android was doing absolutely nothing to help that issue.

Yuuri moved into his bed, attempting to calm himself, as he placed himself beneath the large blanket and made himself comfortable. Eventually, all his anger slipped away from him until there was nothing but fatigue.

Unfortunately, feelings of anxiety and misery began rise inside of him until it felt like Yuuri was filled to the brim with intense emotions of sadness. Yuuri shut his eyes tightly, trying to imagine his loving fiancé that he couldn’t help but miss more than ever.

“Viktor…” He moaned quietly, as tears of frustration began to swell up.

Soon, his whole body was wracking in sobs and he began to sniffle loudly in distress. Yuuri’s mind became occupied with his fiancé and at that exact moment, he began grieving the death of Viktor more intensely than he had done in the past three months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I hope you enjoyed reading Chapter 7! I'm actually really happy about the way this chapter was written. The past few chapters I've been writing in like the past month always felt iffy to me. I was also kinda feeling uninspired on writing before this chapter so I'm glad I was feeling inspired for this particular one. 
> 
> So hopefully, you guys like this so as well! I was really excited to get to this part of the story, so I'm glad I'm happy with it. Though, I kind have hoped this chapter would've been longer. I have more notes written about chapter 8 so hopefully that'll have more length. I'm back in college classes though so I'm not sure if I'll be able to write as often.
> 
> Anyways, I'd love to hear your responses about the chapter! They always make my day and motivate me to write more :) See ya'll next chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

The instant Yuuri woke up in his hotel room, exhaustion had struck him. Yuuri had spent most of his night crying to himself. It was a fitful sleep for him. He rubbed his weary eyes and reached for his glasses on his nightstand.

Then, Yuuri glimpsed around the room, trying to find the android that resembled his fiancé. When he couldn't spot Viktor, he stiffened from his spot as dread quickly devoured him. He completely forgot that he demanded the android to leave in his fit of grief the day before. Yuuri briefly remembered hearing the sound of the door closing before he had thrown himself onto the bed.

With a pounding heart that nearly felt like it was going to burst out of his chest, Yuuri bolted out of his bed fearfully. He breathed in shakily, as he pulled his hair tightly in panic. If someone in the hotel found Viktor, it would be terrible for him. If they figured out exactly who the android was supposed to be, everyone would be quick to label Yuuri as mentally ill.

Yuuri shoved his feet into his shoes in a rush and darted out of his hotel room. He didn't bother changing out of his clothes after his argument with Viktor so thankfully, Yuuri wouldn’t be running out of the hotel room in his sleeping attire.

He didn’t have a sense of direction on where to exactly go. Yuuri wasn’t sure where an android would think to go after an argument. He didn’t exactly have the mindset of a technological being.

Yuuri started by glimpsing around the hallways of the hotel but he didn’t have any luck. He began to grow discouraged after racing around the hotel for at least ten minutes.

Before giving up, Yuuri decided to go to the front desk and ask the hotel receptionist if she has seen anyone strange. By that, Yuuri actually meant someone who was supposed to be dead but wasn’t. Though, he decided to leave that important detail out during his explanation.

In response, the employee only stared at him oddly and claimed that they did not see anyone of the sort. In dismay, Yuuri decided to return back to his hotel room, as fatigue and frustration only continued to consume him.

His room was the same as he had left it which meant that Viktor had not come back. He dragged himself to his bed and sat down on it in fear. Yuuri dropped his face into his hands, trembling in horror at the question that invaded his mind.

Did Viktor leave him?

Yuuri breathed harshly, shaking his head in denial. There was no way the android could leave him, especially after all the time and money Yuuri had put into him.

The argument was mostly Yuuri’s fault in the first place. He had allowed himself to overthink everything. Yuuri was aware how unstable his head could be since it was where his thoughts could easily wear at him until he broke and project all of his ugly concerns.

It happened the year before at the Grand Prix Final where he made Viktor cry in their hotel room and he did it again last night. Yuuri knew he had been senseless. He already knew before purchasing the android that there were going to be clear differences between the android and his fiance. He shouldn’t have freaked out the way he did.

Yuuri pulled his hands away from his face and stared down at the floor in misery. Then, Yuuri called out Viktor’s name weakly, hoping to hear a reply. Any response would help him up from the pit of despair Yuuri had landed himself in.

“Viktor…”

Miraculously, Yuuri did hear a reply, causing him to jolt in shock because the voice sounded incredibly close to him. It was also Viktor’s voice answering him.

“Yes, lyubov moya?” Viktor had said faintly.

At the reply, Yuuri stood up quickly, trying to pinpoint where he was hearing Viktor before shifting his eyes onto the closed bathroom door. Yuuri walked slowly to the door, oddly nervous about opening it.

Once he did, Yuuri glanced inside and exhaled a sigh of relief when he found Viktor sitting on the toilet. He rushed towards the android and knelt down on the floor. Then, he wrapped his arms around Viktor and laid his head against the android’s chest.

“Please don’t do that again, Viktor.” Yuuri whispered, feeling his eyes strain as tears began to well up again. With a sniffle, Yuuri tried to blink them away. Whether the tears were from fear, sadness, exhaustion or a mixture of them all, Yuuri didn’t know.

Yuuri was probably overreacting over the situation and making it a bigger deal than it actually was but he couldn’t help it. He was always unreasonably anxious whenever it came to Viktor.

“Okay.” Viktor replied softly, slowly blinking down at him from his seat. Yuuri breathed out, content now that Viktor was here with him. He wasn’t sure if the android understood what he was reprimanding him for but it was a relief to hear Viktor abide.

Yuuri glanced around the small washroom, furrowing his eyebrows together in curiosity. The night before he had thought Viktor had left the room but it must’ve been the sound of the bathroom door closing.

“Why are you even in the bathroom?” Yuuri asked, as he stood up. He did not think to check the bathroom before he had left the hotel room.

“You told me to get out of your sight.” Viktor replied, his blue eyes staring into Yuuri’s, almost as if he were challenging him to say otherwise.

“I did.” Yuuri answered. He didn’t ponder on the subject too long, not wanting to be reminded of the night before. It was better off if Yuuri could put the incident behind him, no matter how much his hasty thoughts prodded at him.

Yuuri supposed it was a good thing that the android decided to retreat to the bathroom instead of the hotel lobby. The outside world didn’t need to know anything about Viktor. The android was much safer when he was hidden where only Yuuri could see him.

“Let’s just go back to the room. We should be getting ready to head to the Grand Prix.” Yuuri said, as he reached Viktor’s hand to pull him up. The android followed along without a word of complaint.

He started to change out of the clothes he wore the previous day. After placing on a new pair of jeans and a beige sweater, Yuuri reached for his black coat and brown scarf to wear to the Grand Prix Final.

Once he was dressed, Yuuri took a glimpse at Viktor, who was wearing the same clothes as the previous day. Yuuri pursed his lips, narrowing his eyes at Viktor, as he contemplated on whether he should bother making the android change his attire. After pondering for awhile, Yuuri determined it wasn’t necessary. He didn’t intend for anyone to notice them at the event.

Before heading out, Yuuri reached for the phone on his nightstand. As he picked up his device, Yuuri was surprised to find the phone vibrating in his hold. Yuuri glanced down, hesitating once he noticed it was Yuri Plisetsky that was calling him.

After deciding on whether to pick up the call or not, Yuuri determined it wouldn’t do any harm to talk to the Russian teenager. There was a possibility Yurio was calling him to talk about his free skate. Yuri also seemed worried about him when he didn’t text him back. The least Yuuri could do was wish Yuri the best of luck for his Grand Prix performance and guarantee he was fine.

However, Yuuri did not expect the greeting he received once he had answered.

 _“What the fuck?”_ Yuri snarled at him, clearly furious at Yuuri, who could only blink in perplexity at the aggressive welcome.

He wasn’t exactly certain what he had done that elicited such a crude response from Yurio. Yuuri didn’t think Yuri would be _that_ mad over not responding to a few texts. Though, the young teenager did seem to threaten him a small number of times.

“Is something wrong?” Yuuri responded worriedly, furrowing his eyebrows together. He glanced at Viktor, who only stared at him impassively. With a frown, Yuuri looked away, not exactly sure what he had expected from the android.

 _“The post…”_ Yuri muttered out, rage covering his voice thoroughly. _“Is it true?”_

Yuuri swallowed anxiously, as a wave of uneasiness struck him. The bitter tone of Yuri’s voice left him on edge. He didn’t know exactly what Yurio was referring to when he mentioned the post but it most likely didn’t refer to their texting incident from the day before.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Yuuri said uncertainty, as he bit into his lips relentlessly in his distress. Whatever Yurio seemed to be talking about, it didn’t sound good at all.  

 _“Your new guy!”_ Yuri shouted angrily into his ear, causing Yuuri to gasp sharply and wince at the loudness of the voice. Once he processed Yuri’s words, Yuuri could feel his heart dropping in terror.

Yuuri could only breathe out one word in reply. He didn’t think he was capable of putting together any coherent sentences with how severe his brain was malfunctioning.

“What?"

Did someone find out about the android?

 _“Don’t play dumb.”_ Yuri growled out to his dumbfounded response. Yuuri gripped his phone tighter and sagged down onto the bed. He started to breath faster in panic, as he began to rattle his leg in anticipation for Yuri’s words. _“Your fan posted a photo of the two of you. Your were holding his arm.”_

“I-I… W-what? I-I don’t know.” Yuuri stammered.

The reality of the situation was starting to hit him bad. Yuri must’ve been talking about the encounter he had with his supporter as he was leaving with the android. But Yuuri didn’t recall anyone taking a photo of the android. The only picture he remembered was the one he took with the fan.

He should’ve ignored the fan from the start. If Yuuri had, he would have avoided this discussion altogether.

_“Did you already move on from Viktor?”_

“What! No!” Yuuri gasped in horror, shaking his head vigorously. In the beginning, Yuuri had tried to deal with his mourning and accept Viktor’s death but he never managed to, especially once he had brought the android into his life. “Never.”

At Yuuri’s distressed behavior, Viktor had walked up to him and tried placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, attempting to pull together a worried expression that didn’t look entirely authentic to Yuuri. He supposed the android must’ve detected Yuuri’s anxiety and had tried to placate him. However, Yuuri jerked away, ignoring Viktor entirely.

 _“Then, who is Alexei?”_ Yuri whispered bitterly to him, sounding as drained as Yuuri felt. The blond teenager must’ve been exhausted by the whole ordeal.

At the probing question, Yuuri moaned in dread and dropped his face into his one hand. He didn’t answer for awhile, causing the silence between the two to grow more tense. Yuuri supposed it was a miracle that Yuri didn’t drill him endlessly over the subject. He was giving him time to answer.  

“I’m sorry.”

It was the only response Yuuri granted before he hung up on Yurio.

Then, he began searching intensively for the post. Since Yuuri had deleted his social media apps, he decided to search his name online to see if he could find anything. It didn’t take long for him to find what Yurio had been talking about.

Beyond the tasteless headline, Yuuri didn’t read much more of the article, only scrolling down until he reached the picture of the tweet on the website. He stared in trepidation at the two pictures and the caption the user had posted.

The first picture was of Yuuri and the fan. He looked awfully tense in the picture, as his strained smile spoke in volume just exactly how Yuuri was feeling about the situation. On the other hand, the fan beamed at the camera in delight.

The next photo showed a side view of Yuuri and Viktor. They were shown to be walking out of the door with Yuuri gripping Viktor’s arm tightly as they exited. He looked incredibly exhausted while the android had an inscrutable expression on his face.

Yuuri thankfully seemed to be mostly blocking Viktor with his body. However, Yuuri wasn’t tall enough to hide Viktor’s face from the camera. It was a smart move to have the android wear a disguise. Viktor wasn’t nearly as recognizable with his hazel eyes, hidden hair and skin marks in the photo. It was also a blurry picture as well which seemed to hide Viktor’s distinguishable face.

After studying the picture for quite awhile, Yuuri decided to check out the caption the supporter had written in Japanese.

 

 **Chisato Erizawa** _@erizawachisato • 2hrs_

_I had the honor of meeting Yuuri at the GPF! I’m glad to see him doing well after Viktor’s death and I’m thankful he introduced me to his new boyfriend, who goes by Alexei. I will continue cheering you on, Yuuri!_

 

Yuuri groaned in dismay and scrolled down to the bottom of the article to see exactly how people reacted to the news. Just like he feared, there weren’t many understanding comments over his case.

 

**_AndrewEats_ **

_lol it didn’t take long for the jap to jump into another man’s arms_

 

**_iceskatez_ **

_i feel bad for Viktor :(_

 

**_Victuuri_ **

_It’s only been 2 months??? What’s wrong with Yuuri?_

 

There were a few comments from users that sympathized with Yuuri but they were rare in the flood of incriminating opinions. Though, Yuuri mostly sensed confusion from the skating community over his choice.

After a few seconds of processing everything he had just read, Yuuri decided to skim through his texts to see if anyone had any idea about the story spreading around. There were plenty of new messages Yuuri had received since the last time he had went through his phone.

 

**_Phichit_ **

_Just know you can talk to me whenever you need someone to talk to._

 

That was all Phichit had texted him since his last text that Yuuri had read during the Grand Prix Final. He figured his friend must’ve been referring to the recent news about Yuuri and his ‘new’ man. Yuuri supposed it was nice to have someone on his side after reading countless vicious messages about him.

 

**_Chris_ **

_We’re always on your side, Yuuri._

 

Yet another person on Yuuri’s side. He thought the text was rather unlike Chris, who would often send him risqué messages. Though, Yuuri supposed this was a serious matter in their eyes since Yuuri supposedly moved on from Viktor onto a new man named Alexei.

Yeah right. As if Yuuri could do that to Viktor…

 

**_Mari-Onee-san_ **

_Please answer, Yuuri. Minako and I have been in Nagoya for the GPF. Please don’t make us try to find you during the free skate. Call our parents soon._

 

With a sigh, Yuuri closed his eyes, deliberating on his next steps. He’d think that people would definitely try to put in more effort in trying to find him today and since Yuuri was in Japan, he would definitely be spotted more quickly with how easily people recognized him.

Yuuri opened his eyes and peered up into the calm gaze of the android, finding solace in the familiar blue eyes. It was obvious to Yuuri that he shouldn’t consider bringing Viktor along with him to the event. There would certainly be plenty of people curious to figure out the android’s identity.

“I’m going to the Grand Prix Final alone today.” Yuuri told the android, watching as Viktor nodded obediently at his proclamation. “When I come back, we’re heading to the airport so please pack all of our stuff. I want to leave the hotel as quickly as possible.”

“We’re not staying for the exhibition in two days?” At the question, Yuuri sighed wearily.

Before he had purchased airline tickets and a hotel room, Yuuri had contemplated on whether he should stay an extra two days to watch his friends perform their exhibition skate. However, Yuuri didn’t think he could handle staying away from his home in Saint Petersburg for so long, especially with Viktor’s birthday coming soon.

“No. I never intended on staying that long.” Yuuri responded, consoled when he heard Viktor hum in affirmation at the answer. He relaxed slightly, as he instructed the android. “Stay here in the hotel room and keep out of anyone’s sight, Viktor.”

“Okay. I will."

With a bit of hesitance, Yuuri moved close to the android and placed a short kiss on his lips. He was utterly relieved when Viktor decided to respond to his kiss, as his lips moved gently against Yuuri’s. Yuuri pulled away with his cheeks growing flush, as he headed to the door.

As he exited the hotel room, Yuuri made sure to place the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the door. He didn’t want any employees entering the room to find Viktor waiting inside.

Then, Yuuri headed to the Grand Prix Final, as his nerves began to consume him.

 

\---

 

At the GPF, Yuuri was recognized by a few people. Some of them were only fans who wanted a quick picture while others wanted to interrogate him about his new boyfriend. Yuuri tried his best to ignore those who desired to know more about his mystery man.

He quickly tried to seat himself in the stands. Yuuri didn’t know if it would help him but he wrapped the brown scarf up a little higher and pulled the hoodie of his black coat over his head.

When the long programs began for the men’s figure skating, Yuuri attempted to pay attention to the performances. However, he was dismayed to find out that his mind was just as occupied as the day before. He couldn’t stop thinking about Yurio’s phone call to him and the fact that the world noticed the android he had brought along.

Yuuri supposed he expected people to find out no matter what, even though he took extreme measures to disguise himself and Viktor during the short program. He didn’t try as hard to hide his identity today since he had left Viktor behind at the hotel.

Despite all the troubles that suddenly arose, it was good that Yuuri was careful enough to change the android’s appearance that people didn’t exactly know who the man in the photo was supposed to be other than ‘Alexei.’

Michele was the first one to skate since he came last after all the short program scores. Once again, Yuuri barely paid attention as Michele performed. It was slightly better than his short program but it wasn’t worthy enough to land him on the podium.

The next performer was Chris, who performed as eros as he he did during his short program. As Chris went through his step sequence, he was saddened to see that there wasn’t as much passion in his performance as the previous year. He remembered briefly during Chris’ visit to St. Petersburg that this was supposedly his last year in figure skating before he retired.

Then, it was Phichit who performed his personal best with his long program. He looked like he was having the time of his life as he leaped into his jumps and danced enthusiastically to the music booming through the speakers. His friend’s performance caused Yuuri to smile gently, somewhat yearning Phichit’s presence in his life again.

Otabek proved to be a challenge with his firm jumps and serene demeanor on the ice. Yuuri regretted not staying behind to watch his short program. The young skater’s long program was solid but Yuuri wasn’t exactly sure if he would be able to make it to the podium. There were plenty of great competitors this year.

JJ was next up to compete. As he carried out his long program, Yuuri instantly noticed he was different from his previous Grand Prix performance. There were no nerves as JJ flung himself into his quad jumps and step sequence. Yuuri watched in intriguement, knowing that JJ would be a challenge for Yurio. Judging from his flawless jumps, his technical component score would be marvelous.

As Yurio took the middle of the ice rink, Yuuri livened up in his seat. He watched attentively as Yurio swiftly followed his routine on the ice. However, halfway through the performance, Yuuri frowned in bewilderment. Yuri looked troubled and it showed in his skating. There wasn’t as much emotion in his performance as Yuuri remembered that one day he watched Yurio. It might affect his current ranking.

When Yurio came to a stop, it was obvious the young competitor looked frustrated by his own performance. Yuri stomped off the ice rink and followed Yakov to the Kiss and Cry. Yuuri waited in anticipation, sitting at the edge of the seat, expecting to hear the scores soon.

He couldn’t help but wonder if he was at fault for Yuri’s performance. The blond teenager had called him earlier and flooded his phone with texts. Instead, Yurio should’ve been preparing for his day. There was a chance Yurio’s mind was occupied on Yuuri when he should’ve been thinking more about his long program. Yuuri bit into his bottom lip, feeling guilty for Yuri’s blunders.

But Yuuri didn’t focus too long on it. He couldn’t hold himself accountable for Yuri’s mistakes in his long program.

Then, the scores were announced and he could see Yurio deflate on the large screen. There was disappointment in in his expression, while Yakov mirrored Yurio’s face with the heavy frown placed on his face.

Yurio didn’t score high enough to maintain his first place ranking. Instead, he fell behind to second.

During the medal ceremony, Jean-Jacques Leroy stood high on the podium, eagerly displaying his gold medal with his smug smile. Yuri Plisetsky held his silver medal stiffly, appearing irked by JJ’s egotistical attitude, but stood in his spot just as proud as if he were winner. Phichit Chulanont, his beaming friend who earned bronze, looked to be having the greatest time as he grinned happily at the applauding audience.

Yuuri smiled softly, reminiscing of the time when he stood on the podium the previous year. The nostalgia of the memory caused him to sigh sadly, as he rose from his seat. It was time for him to leave before the ceremony ended. He didn’t want to be caught in the traffic of the people rushing to go home.

Yuuri took a taxi to the Westin Nagoya Castle. He made his way to the hotel and up to his room. Somewhat nervous, Yuuri opened the door to his hotel room. He almost expected the android to be gone. However, Viktor sat on the made bed, smiling faintly as soon as Yuuri entered the room.

“Hi, Yuuri!” Viktor said enthusiastically, as he waved fervently at him.

Yuuri blinked at the android, somewhat surprised by the excited attitude. If he remembered correctly, Viktor displayed a bit more emotions than normal during the morning as well. He must’ve taken Yuuri’s words last night to heart… or maybe memory bank would be more appropriate to say.

“Hello.” Yuuri replied quietly, a bit less eager than Viktor’s greeting had been. He felt sort of drained from his packed day. In the past few months, Yuuri hadn’t been doing much during his days and would spend his days indoors. This whole trip was taking quite a toll on him. 

“I’ve packed everything already.” Viktor announced, gesturing his hands towards the direction of the suitcases by the desk. The room was clean and clear of Yuuri’s belongings. “How was the competition?”

“It was good…” Yuuri stated flatly, sarcasm leaking into his voice.

He had wholeheartedly believed Yurio would’ve came in first again. His scores were very close to JJ’s but he guess it wasn’t meant to be. Yuri would definitely do better the next year. The young teen has won gold before and he could do it again.

“That’s great!” The android exclaimed, his heart-shaped smile looking exactly like his fiancé’s. Yuuri sighed tiredly at the animated assertion. The android didn’t seem to detect the deception in Yuuri's words.

“Yeah…”

Yuuri took a glance around the room one last time, making sure there was nothing left behind. Then, he grabbed the android’s cap from the desk and placed it onto of his head, making sure there was not a single strand of gray hair in sight. Then, he reached for the pair of fake glasses and put it on Viktor’s face. After that, he wrapped a scarf around the android’s neck and face.

He stared deeply into Viktor’s beautiful blue eyes and flawless face, before turning away with a frown. Viktor needed his disguise before they went anywhere.

“Change into your disguise.” Yuuri murmured, as he reached into his suitcase to grab a beanie.

After he placed it onto his own head, Yuuri turned to the door with his luggage in one hand, glimpsing back at the android to see if he followed his instructions. At the sight of Viktor’s different colored eyes, Yuuri quickly changed his gaze back on the door.

“Let’s head out.” After his soft statement, Yuuri was out of the hotel room, as Viktor followed behind him.

He wanted to be out of Japan as quickly as possible.

 

\---

 

After the excruciating plane ride back to Saint Petersburg, the two of them were finally back into the apartment. Yuuri had shoved Viktor into their home before he went to his neighbor’s apartment to bring Makkachin home.

Makkachin immediately tackled him, licking him ecstatically. Her loud whines caused him to scratch her in comfort, as he laughed in amusement at her ardent behavior. It seemed as if Makkachin had missed Yuuri as much as Yuuri had missed the old, loving poodle.

With a huge smile, Yuuri thanked his neighbor. Then, he was back in his apartment where Viktor was waiting for him in the living room. The android no longer wore his disguise. Instead, he was sitting patiently on the couch, instantly peering at Yuuri the moment he had entered the apartment. His blue eyes stared silently at Yuuri, who promptly ignored the gaze.

Feeling drained, Yuuri swiftly poured Makkachin food and water. Then, he reached for his phone in his back pocket.

Even though he wanted to pass out in his bedroom right away after being on a plane for roughly fifteen hours, Yuuri had texted his sister a short message about how he would call his parents once he came home. He wasn’t going to back out of his promise, especially after he had refused to contact them for weeks.

“Okaa-san?”

 _“Yuuri!”_ His mother exclaimed, before she continued to talk to him excitedly in Japanese. _“It’s been so long since I’ve heard your voice. How have you been doing?”_

Her doting words caused Yuuri to chuckle tiredly, as he sat himself down on the kitchen table. There have been plenty of stuff he’s been up to since he last called his mom. He wasn’t sure if he should tell her any of the details though.

“I’m okay.” Yuuri claimed, as he decided to bring up what he’s been up to the past few days. “I went to the Grand Prix Final in Nagoya. It was nice to see an ice skating competition with my own eyes. I haven't gone to one since I've retired.”

 _“That’s great! Your sister went with Minako. Did you see them?”_ Hiroko asked him curiously.

Yuuri grimaced at the inquiry. When he was at Nagoya, Yuuri tried his best to go unavoided. He didn’t have the desire to be noticed by any of his relatives or friends. It was a relief that no one he knew caught sight of him. The only people were strangers which he didn’t care much for.

He was glad his sister didn’t find him in Japan. It was an awful thought but he couldn’t help the honest opinion from popping up in his head. His sister must’ve still been in Nagoya, waiting for the exhibition skate tomorrow.

“No, I didn’t see them.”

His mother was silent for a few seconds, causing Yuuri to fidget nervously. She must’ve been catching onto something. Yuuri didn’t know how much she was aware about his time in Nagoya but he wasn’t too eager to talk about it. He knew his mother would be saddened if she heard that he had spent all of his time away from his friends.

Unfortunately, the next question his mom had to ask was about it.

_“Did you try hanging out with any of your friends?”_

“No.” Yuuri said hesitantly, not sure if that was the right response.

_“Yuuri.”_

Yuuri winced at the tone of her voice. It was the authoritative tone she would use on Yuuri whenever she had something crucial to tell him about the way he was behaving. He didn’t want to make her worried.

“Yes, okaa-san?”

 _“I know you're an adult but I can't help but worry about you sometimes.”_ His mom murmured, her voice smothered in concern. The last time she heard her sound so worried about him was around the time Vicchan had passed away.

Yuuri couldn't even muster up the annoyance he usually felt whenever his mom chided him. He knew that he was at fault. Since Viktor’s death, he’s been mostly recluse. Yuuri didn’t keep in contact with much of his family or friends and he rarely left his apartment anymore. He supposed his solitary lifestyle wasn’t a healthy sign that he was improving since Viktor left the world.

“I know.” Yuuri frowned, petting Makkachin gently when she nudged his hand. “I’m sorry.”

 _“Well, I guess as long as you say you’re alright.”_ Hiroko said softly, sounding just as worried about Yuuri as before.   

“I’m alright.” Yuuri whispered weakly. The words slipped out of him quickly but his response was shaky, clearly indicating the lie. From the deep sigh Hiroko released, she must’ve known Yuuri was being dishonest to her.

 _“Okay then.”_ His mom murmured. Her next words were spoken in false cheer, causing guilt to arise in Yuuri. _“Do you want to talk to your father? He’s been missing you as well!”_

“Yeah, of course.”

Then, his mother went silent, as sounds of bustling transferred through the call. She must’ve been trying to find his father.

 _“Yuuri?”_ Toshiya said, as his mother’s voice rumbled in the background. He didn’t hear the words his mother muttered to his father.

“Hello, otou-san.” Yuuri greeted quietly.

After his greeting, his father asked him how he was doing. Yuuri mentioned a few short statements about how he was fine which seemed to satisfy his father. The conversation was brief and before Yuuri knew it, he was telling them farewell. His mother made him promise to call back soon which Yuuri fully intended to keep.

Once he ended the call, Yuuri stood up, purely exhausted from the phone call and long trip from Japan. He glanced at Viktor, who immediately flashed him a friendly smile.

“Is your parents doing well?” Viktor asked with interest.

“They’re fine.” Yuuri nodded tersely, tiredly rubbing his eyes. Then, he motioned the android towards the bedroom. Viktor promptly locked eyes onto his hand gesture and stood up curtly in response.

“Come on, Viktor.” Yuuri whispered, as he walked to the bedroom, satisfied when Viktor followed right after him. “Let’s go to sleep.”

 

\---

 

The next morning, Yuuri felt more dead than usual. He woke up around noon, feeling more despondent than ever. There was no motivation in him to leave his room at all. He turned over to observe Viktor, who had opened his eyes and ‘woke up’ once Yuuri had laid his eyes on the android.

Viktor smiled at him but Yuuri didn’t smile in return. Instead, he frowned and turned his back on the android, dully staring at the wall. He must’ve focused on the wall for an hour before he finally decided to start his day. Before he left his bed, Yuuri skimmed through his texts briefly.

Today, there were a lot more messages than normal but it made sense. Yuuri always received tons of texts this time around the year. However, he ignored them all and shut off his phone. Then, he placed it on the nightstand. He didn’t plan on using his phone the whole day.

He rose from his bed, heading to his closet to change out of sleeping attire. Yuuri placed on a pair of comfy pants and a sweatshirt. Then, he turned towards the android, who was now sitting on the bed and studying him intently.

“Change into a casual outfit.” Yuuri instructed softly. Viktor nodded and walked to join him in the closet. “Come join me for breakfast once you’re done.”

He walked out of the bedroom, aware of the android’s heedful gaze as he stepped away. Once he was in the living room, Yuuri quickly took Makkachin outside. When he came back inside, Viktor was already dressed in a long sleeved, navy blue shirt and black sweatpants. He sat at the dining table patiently, waiting for Yuuri.

Yuuri silently went to the kitchen and began cooking a simple breakfast meal. After he finished, Yuuri had two plates of bacon, eggs and toast. He placed a plate in front of the android, who blinked at it curiously. Yuuri didn’t say anything and began eating his breakfast.

Once Viktor understood Yuuri’s intentions, he began digging into his food. At first, the android ate tentatively, as if he were testing the waters. Then, before long, he started to devour the food enthusiastically. He supposed it must’ve been odd for the android. After all the weeks Yuuri has been with him, this was the first time he was making him eat.

“This is really good!” Viktor beamed at him, smiling graciously, before he declared the word his fiance had seemed to favor. “Vkusno!”

Yuuri didn’t respond, only staring down at his food impassively. He stabbed the yolk of his egg with his fork, watching as the yellow center dribbled out. After a few minutes, Viktor had finished all of his breakfast but Yuuri had barely ate his bacon and eggs. He had less of an appetite than the android.

There was a few attempts from the android to make conversation but Yuuri ignored them all. He wasn’t in the mood to talk. When Viktor was done eating, Yuuri grabbed both of their plates and walked into the kitchen. He threw away his mostly uneaten dish into the trash and placed the dirty plates onto the sink.

Then, Yuuri wandered towards the couch and sat down. Makkachin had scooted closer to him from where she was resting on the furniture. The android stared at him in confusion from the dining table, most likely not certain on what action to take.

However, Yuuri didn’t say anything and reached for the remote controller. He turned on the television and changed the channel to one that was showing holiday programs. He watched the TV screen inattentively, mindlessly stroking Makkachin’s fur. Eventually, Viktor joined him on the couch. They watched the screen for hours.

Once the apartment started to dim from the sun setting down, Yuuri switched the TV off. He turned towards Viktor and reached for the android’s wrist softly.

“Let’s have sex.”

Yuuri stated quietly, keeping his face blank as he pulled Viktor the direction of the bedroom. The android complied and followed him along. Inside the bedroom, Yuuri pushed Viktor onto his back on the bed. Then, he took off his sweatshirt and tossed it to the floor. His pants and undergarments quickly joined the sweatshirt.

A brief look towards the android proved that Viktor was still dressed and Yuuri frowned, not pleased that there was clothes on him. He immediately tugged the hem of Viktor’s shirt and slipped it off. He pulled off the android’s other clothes as well.

Yuuri stared silently at the android for a few seconds, his face carefully blank, before he reached towards the dresser for lube. Once he had the bottle in his hand, Yuuri poured the oil onto his hand. Then, he slicked up his behind, placing two fingers to slide in. He thrusted into his anus and spreaded his fingers apart, stretching his hole.

When he felt comfortable enough at the intrusion, Yuuri removed his fingers and looked down at Viktor’s cock, frowning in discontent at the sight. He reached down and gripped the android’s soft dick, sending Viktor a pointed look. Viktor quickly understood and the cock stiffened in Yuuri’s hold.

Sighing softly, Yuuri reached to grasp Viktor’s shoulders and slowly settled himself down. He breathed sharply at the feeling of fullness, waiting briefly to adjust to the sensation. After Yuuri was relaxed, he began rocking himself up and down, gripping Viktor’s shoulders tightly.

He breathed out soft moans as the android’s cock thrusted in and out of anus. At the sound of the lube squelching whenever Yuuri fucked himself down on Viktor, he gritted his teeth and started to move faster.

After awhile, Yuuri peered down at Viktor, who was lying down on the bed with a vacuous look. At the sight, Yuuri closed his eyes tightly, feeling his face redden, as he continued to drill himself on top of Viktor.

Panting softly, Yuuri adjusted his position, attempting to find a certain spot. After bouncing himself for awhile, Viktor’s cock finally nudged itself against Yuuri’s prostate, making him release a stifled moan. Yuuri trembled and gripped Viktor tighter, digging his nails into the android’s skin, as he tried to jerk himself back and forth on the cock more heavily.

Once Yuuri felt his orgasm nearing, he stilled on top of Viktor and reached for his erection, pumping it vigorously. Then, he groaned loudly and shuddered as he came, his fluid spilling onto the android’s stomach.

Breathing out harshly, Yuuri closed his eyes and removed himself off of Viktor’s dick. He laid himself on top of Viktor and nestled his head against the android’s neck. He took awhile to compose himself.

After he started to breath properly, Yuuri stood up and reached for a dark blue bathrobe from the closet. He placed it on himself and grabbed another bathrobe, the green one that Viktor wore often. He tossed it towards the android, who put it on right away.

When Yuuri returned to the room, he didn’t immediately go on the bed. Instead, he knelt down and opened one of the cabinets from the nightstand. He digged around the drawer, shuffling around before he found the object he had been searching for.

He pulled out a small black box. It was the same one he had bought in Barcelona during his visit the previous year. Yuuri gripped it firmly, frowning to himself as he went to sit right besides Viktor on the side of the bed. He took a brief look at the android, who was staring at the black box with a penetrating stare.

Yuuri swallowed, as his throat tightened, making it difficult to breathe. He opened the ring box, freezing at the sight of the gold band gleaming once the light of the bedroom hit it. It looked exactly the same from the last time he had laid his eyes on it.

There was a tense silence between the two of them as Yuuri continued to stare down at the ring. Once he calmed himself enough to move, Yuuri grabbed the ring and pulled it out of the black box. He laid the ring box on top of the nightstand.

He held the ring between his fingers, studying the shimmering object that once belonged to his dead fiance. There was a similar gold band that Yuuri had on his ring finger, a bit more worn from wearing it constantly for about a year now.

A week after Viktor's death, Yuuri had received Viktor’s ring from the mortician who prepared his fiance for the funeral. Yuuri hadn’t known exactly what to do with the object so he placed it inside the ring box and shoved it deep into his nightstand where he didn’t have to be bothered with it. But he had a feeling he should’ve just had the ring buried with Viktor.

Since then, Yuuri had not tried to open the black box. Well, at least until this particular moment.

Without a single word, Yuuri held out a hand in front of the android, staring into Viktor’s blue eyes with a grim frown on his face. At the silent command, Viktor placed his hand on top of Yuuri’s. Yuuri breathed in deeply, as he clutched Viktor’s hand tightly.

Then, Yuuri gently slipped on the gold ring of his dead fiance onto the android’s finger. Viktor’s ring finger. There was a slight nagging itch in the back of his mind that immediately murmured to him that _this_ wasn’t right but Yuuri ignored it.

Once Yuuri placed the ring on Viktor’s finger, he started to feel tears slide down his face unexpectedly. He stiffened and reached up towards his face, tensely wiping away his tears. Yuuri stared at his wet hand dully, not exactly certain when he had started crying. As the droplets of water streamed down his face, Yuuri stayed silent.

A soft touch to his face caused him to glance up. Viktor was rubbing his silent tears away, examining the wetness with an analytical gleam in his eyes. Then, the expression melted away and he peered at Yuuri with a worried expression on his face. At the thoughtful gesture, the tears on his face started to run down harder but Yuuri continued to stay mute.

He glanced at the window in their room, watching wistfully as snowflakes sprinkled down on Saint Petersburg. It was nice to have snow pouring down for Christmas. Then, he peered back at Viktor, who was observing the shimmering ring on his finger with a pensive expression. The musing frown that Viktor wore had Yuuri tearing his gaze away.

As tears continue to fall down, Yuuri realized he wasn’t going to improve. At this point, he didn’t think he could ever live his life without Viktor.

In a fit of heartache, a shaky whimper finally ripped out of Yuuri. He stared back at Viktor’s perfect face, sobbing quietly at the concerned look Viktor directed towards him. Yuuri scrunched up his face tearfully. Then, he whispered the words that have been plaguing him the whole entire day.

“Happy Birthday, Viktor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote this chapter while listening the soundtrack of Howl's Moving Castle and I swear it really helped me get into a somber mood. :')
> 
> Also, anyone excited for the Winter Olympics? I'm anticipating the figure skating part and there's two skaters I'm excited to watch. I really have YoI to thank for making me so interested in it. Can't wait for it.
> 
> But anyways, here's chapter 8! I'm really excited that we're getting closer to the end and the next two chapters shouldn't be too long I believe. Just wanted to mention that putting the ring on the android is the turning point in Yuuri's behavior towards the android. I'm hoping didn't make anyone too sad with this chapter. Hopefully, I can get the next chapter out faster because I took a little awhile on releasing this one. 
> 
> Until next time! :D


	9. Chapter 9

In the kitchen, Yuuri hummed a tune as he cooked his favorite meal, Katsudon, for dinner. Sadly, he didn't make the Japanese dish as well as his mother. The last time he had cooked it was a few months back when he was still talking to Viktor on the phone. It was insane to think about how long Yuuri went without eating it.

After spending at least an hour in the kitchen, Yuuri brought out two steaming bowls and placed them on the dining table. Viktor, who was waiting for him at the dining table, sent a delighted smile to Yuuri.

“This looks amazing!” Viktor declared, as he studied his bowl with satisfaction. Yuuri blushed, staring down at his bowl bashfully.

“Thank you.” Yuuri said, grateful that Viktor seemed to like it. “I'm sure it's not as great as my mom’s but I tried my best. Though, maybe it might be better than any other Japanese restaurant here.”

Sadly, there were a lack of good authentic Japanese cuisine here in St.Petersburg. It was tough whenever Yuuri craved for a good Japanese meal. He often found himself comparing the food to the restaurants, as well as homemade food back home.

“This is still really tasty.” Viktor exclaimed, as he took a large bite of his food. At the enthusiasm Viktor displayed, Yuuri chuckled in amusement, as he dug into his bowl. At the first bite, Yuuri blinked in surprise. It actually did taste like a replica of his mom’s dish.

Whenever Yuuri decided to cook Katsudon, he made sure to carefully follow his mother’s recipe. However, he’s never been able to replicate the taste of his mother’s dish completely. Somehow, the essence of a comforting meal that made him feel at home whenever he took a bite of his mother’s meal wasn’t there in his own cooking.

Though, it seemed to be in his meal today.

“You’re right. This is good.” Yuuri stated in bewilderment, as he continued to eat his meal slowly, savoring the taste.

“Aren’t I always correct?” Viktor teased, his blue eyes gleaming mischievously. Yuuri let out a short bark of laughter in reply.

“Not always.”

“Are you sure?” Viktor questioned, smiling lightly. The gentle expression on Viktor’s face caused him to blush, flustered by the teasing remark. Yuuri didn’t know exactly what to say in return but eventually he was able to muster up the words.

“Stop joking around.” Yuuri replied, cheeks still hot, as he ate the last bite of his pork cutlet bowl. He glimpsed at Viktor’s bowl to find it empty as well. At the sight, Yuuri smiled, pleased to see Viktor had finished his portion of the meal.

He picked up the empty dishes, placing them in the sink, before returning to the dining table. Viktor was still in his seat, studying Yuuri as he approached the table. The pensive expression on Viktor’s face had Yuuri scrutinizing him intensely. Somehow, Viktor appeared contemplative, which was a rare look to find on Viktor these days.

“So how is everyone?” Viktor suddenly said, causing Yuuri to blink in surprise at the abrupt question. After processing the words, Yuuri tilted his head inquisitively.

“I’m not sure what you mean by that.”

“Our friends. Have you talked to any of them lately?” Viktor stated, his penetrating gaze piercing into Yuuri, causing him to shift in discomfort and stare back hesitantly.

He didn’t understand why Viktor was curious about them all out of nowhere. Viktor usually didn’t show much interest unless Yuuri was the one who brought them up. Maybe it was because Yuuri hasn’t spoken about them lately. His parents were the only ones Yuuri bothered to reach these days.

“I don’t know why you’re bringing them up all of the sudden.” Yuuri said, furrowing his eyebrows. “Do they really matter? It’s not like you’ve seen them in months.”

“You’re right.” Viktor replied smoothly, as he smiled pleasantly at Yuuri. “Sorry for mentioning it.”

“It’s alright.” Yuuri stated, eyeing Viktor suspiciously with a slight frown. “Let’s just go relax.”

With those words, Yuuri reached for Viktor’s arm and pulled him up. Viktor, as well-behaved as he always been, followed him along to the couch. Yuuri gently pushed Viktor so he would lay down on the furniture. Viktor obliged, as he propped himself down on his side.

Once Viktor did so, Yuuri settled down right next to him, as he wrapped his arms around to pull Viktor into an embrace. There was a familiar sentiment that came along with the act of cuddling with Viktor on the couch that Yuuri loved to appreciate from time to time.

“You know…” Yuuri murmured, pressing his cheek against Viktor’s chest. He basked in the warmth of the body, as he started to reminisce on the past. “There was a moment where we would just lay on this couch, holding each other close like this, and just talk for hours.”

Yuuri always looked forwards to those particular nights. They were the days where Yuuri blindly believed nothing in their life could go wrong. During those times of his life, Yuuri has never been more content with his life. He couldn’t really say the same for the present but maybe, just maybe, Yuuri will reach that point where he’ll feel just as elated with Viktor again.

“You would always tell me how we would win gold. If we ever did, you promised we’d get married.” Yuuri quietly claimed, as he flickered his eyes upwards to examine Viktor’s still face.

Viktor looked unfazed by the statement, causing a sigh of dismay to release from Yuuri. Yuuri wished Viktor would pay more attention to him whenever he talked about their past. Or at least show some sort of emotion.

Compared to back then where he would listen to him with a warm smile on his face, Viktor now always seemed to be detached when Yuuri spoke of his fond memories, almost like he wasn’t the one who experienced those occasions with him.

Yuuri gently reached for Viktor’s hand, intertwining their hands together. The gold rings on their fingers shimmered brightly, fascinating Yuuri by the bright gleam it emitted. The sight of the rings always caused his heart to tighten. Yuuri always found himself musing about that particular fond moment in Barcelona where they slipped the rings onto their finger.

“During those nights, you would show me how much you loved me.” Yuuri murmured, releasing his hold on Viktor’s hand to hold a palm against his cheek, staring deeply into the neverending pools of arctic blue eyes.

Viktor’s endless love was always demonstrated in many ways. Whether it was a soft kiss against the cheek, a warm embrace, or a murmur of admiration, Viktor always liked to convey his affection for Yuuri in the most doting manner.

Yuuri hugged Viktor closer to him, soothed when Viktor clutched him just as firmly. This was what he wanted to experience every second of his life. All Yuuri needed to continue his life was a tender caress from Viktor, just like those previous nights many months ago.

“I miss those times.” Yuuri admitted faintly, before closing his eyes, fully intending to drift off to his dreams. He didn’t receive much sleep the night prior and the thought of falling asleep in Viktor’s snug hold wasn’t too bad of an idea.

“I know.” Came Viktor’s quiet reply as Yuuri drifted off to sleep, as his exhaustion faded away into a pile of oblivion.

 

\---

 

In early May, Yuuri began to realize he was slowly running out of money to continue living in his home with Viktor. After some heavy thinking, Yuuri calculated he had quite enough to live off on for the next two months.

Yuuri needed to find make cash quick and if he didn’t, he would soon lose the apartment and he didn’t want that at all. After some time contemplating on the matter, Yuuri believed it would be best if he went out to look for a job.

It wasn’t what Yuuri would have liked, especially since he lived in Russia. He didn’t speak the language as well as he would have liked. Yuuri has only lived in Saint Petersburg for a little more than a year but his Russian was only exceptional.

There was also the issue where Yuuri had to leave Viktor at the apartment while he worked. Even though it wasn’t desirable, Yuuri believed it would be okay to leave Viktor at the apartment to take care of Makkachin whenever he was away. At least Viktor would have Makkachin as company while Yuuri was off working.

After some searching on the Internet, Yuuri managed to receive a job interview as a bartender at a nearby coffee store. He thought it would be a sufficient job until he figured out a more solid plan on how to earn money.

He went off to his interview early in the morning a week after he had arranged the job interview. Once he had finished, with doubt plaguing his mind on whether or not he had earned the job, Yuuri decided to make a quick trip to the grocery store. They had been running a little low on food.

Once he had finished, Yuuri used Uber to take him home. It was a bit difficult for him to carry the four bags of groceries up to the second floor of his apartment but somehow he managed.

However, the sight of two people waiting at the doorstep of his apartment caused him to freeze in his spot. The urge to scamper away immediately smacked him, prompting Yuuri to take a clumsy step back but the sound of his thunderous footstep caused the two of them to glance back.

Feeling his stomach drop, Yuuri turned away, not wanting to view the expressions on their face. He took one step back down the stairs when someone gripped his arm tight and jerked him around to confront a pair of furious turquoise eyes.

“You’re just going to walk away after not contacting anyone in five months?” A voice snarled irritably. “We came here so many times and you never answered the door once.”

“Yurio.” Yuuri whispered, wincing in pain when Yuri only clenched his arm more firmly. He bit his lips anxiously, thinking back on all the times he had heard a knock and didn’t respond. He usually kept the door locked so there was no way anyone could walk into his apartment, unlike the day after Viktor’s death where Yakov and Yuri had barged into his unlocked apartment after Yuuri refused to reply to them.

“The landlord told us that the tenant moved out.” Yakov spoke up gruffly, staring at Yuuri with beady eyes. “But you’re still living in Vitya’s apartment. Did you tell him to inform us that?”

Yuuri glanced away from Yakov, guilt enveloping his mind. After the Grand Prix Final, there were plenty of people that tried to reach him but he refused to answer. Responding to everyone’s texts and calls became a chore so Yuuri simply stopped.

Then, the door knocking began, along with shouts of his name. Since January, both Yurio and Yakov would come to visit him once a week. However, Yuuri never answered the door and after ten minutes, they would eventually leave.

Once he pleaded to his landlord to tell the two of them he moved out, the hammering of his door stopped, allowing Yuuri to relax in his home. From what Yuuri recalled, Yakov and Yurio had not visited his apartment since March. He didn’t understand why they decided to stop by after two long months.

“I…” Yuuri fumbled through the right words in his head, before admitting quietly. “Yes.”

There was a sharp intake of breath, causing Yuuri to peer up in shame at the two of them. Yakov and Yuri were staring at each other silently, as some hidden message was exchanged between the pair.

Yurio then lurched his head towards Yuuri, causing him to recoil at the sudden movement. There was a tenacious gleam in his eyes, as he stared boldly at Yuuri, who could only swallow nervously at the unwavering demeanor.

“Let us in.” Yuri ordered, his rough demand only making Yuuri grimace. “It’s the least you can do after avoiding us.”

“I don’t think today is a good time.” Yuuri said uncertainty.

“Then, when is a good time?” Yurio bit out sarcastically, before another acerbic retort fell out of the young teenager. “Another five months from now?”

“I-I… I don’t know.”

Yuuri would rather not have to invite them in, especially since Viktor could be anywhere in the apartment. He didn’t want anyone other than himself looking at Viktor. There was also the concern of how Yakov and Yuri would react to Viktor if they were to see him.

“You should invite us in.” Yakov said, not as scornful. Even though his words were a suggestion, the adamant tone of Yakov’s voice left no room for argument. Viktor’s old coach stared at him firmly, his flinty eyes causing Yuuri to fidget nervously.

Feeling like he had no other choice, Yuuri complied.

“Okay.”

Yuuri walked up to the door, straining to grab his key with the amount of bags he was carrying. Once he managed to pull the key out his pocket, Yuuri faced the door and breathed in sharply, his nerves all over the place. Hands shaking, Yuuri shoved in the key into the hole and twisted, praying Viktor would be nowhere in sight.

As he opened the door and walked in, Yuuri surveyed the room, sighing out in relief when he didn’t see Viktor or Makkachin. With a strained smile, Yuuri turned and gestured towards the couch.

“Please, take a seat.” Yuuri mumbled, as he dropped the groceries on the dining table. The sound of two bodies knocking against the furniture filled his ears as he began to silently deliberate on how to speak to Yuri and Yakov without making it awkward.

“Yuuri.” Yakov announced, causing Yuuri to turn towards Yuri and Yakov. The two of them appeared solemn, almost as if they had just endured through a funeral. Yuuri nervously gnawed at his lower lip, uneasy with the grave looks on their faces. “We wanted to talk because we’re concerned about you.”

“I’m fine.” Yuuri said faintly, as he went to stand near the two rather stiffly. “I’ve been okay for months.”

“How have you been handling Viktor’s death?” Yakov asked, looking unconvinced by Yuuri’s answer, before drilling him with another question. “You didn’t seem like you were coping well that time you came to visit us at the ice rink. Are you fine now?”

The last time Yuuri visited the ice rink was when he watched Georgi, Mila, and Yuri performed their programs for the skating season. Then, as he left, Yuuri dropped his phone and reacted badly to it. It wasn’t particularly a memory Yuuri would like to recall.

“I’m dealing.” Yuuri stated flatly, as he narrowed his eyes in slight irritation, not appreciating the way Yakov interrogated him.

Yurio must’ve not liked his answer because his serene expression abruptly contorted into a look of animosity. The livid glare Yuuri received from the young teenager only caused him to take a step back in uneasiness, not enjoying the inklings of spite on Yuri’s face.

Then, Yuri spat out in irritation. “As if you are!” The harsh retort had Yuuri recoiling at the malice bleeding from the bitter tone of Yuri’s voice.

“I am…” Yuuri whispered weakly, causing Yuri to glare at him with more vengeance.

“Maybe you are if you’ve already jumped from one man to another. What’s his name, again?” Yuri quipped back scathingly, as he thumped a finger against his chin mockingly, clearly pretending to think. “Alexei? Isn’t that right, Yuuri?”

The calm facade Yuuri was miserably trying to keep together crumbled at the mordant retaliation, as he stared at Yuri in disbelief. Yakov only looked back at him with criticizing stare, furthering the trepidation Yuuri felt.

“Don’t pretend those news tabloids weren’t speaking the truth. There was a picture of you with someone at the Grand Prix.” Yurio continued when Yuuri refused to reply.

Yuuri felt his throat clog up, feeling that if he were to speak, he would start choking on his words. He couldn’t say a single word to defend himself. Any words he wanted to say couldn’t make it past his throat.

He breathed in shakily, watching anxiously when he was subjected to Yakov’s evaluating stare. At the judgemental look, Yuuri brought his eyes down to the floor, as shame began to overwhelm him.

A strained stillness overcame the apartment, failing to make Yuuri calmer. Instead, Yuuri felt like he was on edge, almost as if it were the beginning of a storm. His breathing began to quicken but he wasn’t receiving any oxygen. He couldn’t breathe and the harsh stares weren’t helping any bit. It was like Yuuri had committed a crime and this was the moment where he was going to finally caught.

There was no way for Yuuri to stop the disaster that was just simply waiting to happen. He wasn’t even certain if he was entirely prepared if they were to find Viktor in his apartment today.

The tense silence collapsed when Makkachin started barking from the bedroom. The high-pitched howls Makkachin released had an instant effect on both Yakov and Yurio. They both blinked simultaneously, their pointed looks disappearing, as they jerked their heads towards the direction of Makkachin’s loud yelps. It was eerie how similar they looked as they both reacted to the sound.

When the barking refused to cease, Yuuri breathed out loudly, tightening his hand into a fist. He couldn’t stop shaking once an alarming concern besieged his mind. If Makkachin was in the bedroom, then that would mean Viktor was in there as well. There was no way Yuuri can let Yuri and Yakov anywhere near the bedroom.

“I’ve been wondering if that dog was alive.” Yuri said with a heavy frown. “I really never see her anymore.”

“Of course she’s alive.” Yuuri countered back immediately, upset that Yuri would imply Makkachin was dead.

Makkachin was Viktor’s dog and Yuuri would do anything to make sure she was taken care of. Yuuri treated Makkachin like his last dog, Vicchan, and that was with cherishment and adoration.

“You look like you’ve barely been able to take care of yourself. If you can’t simply do that, then how can I expect you to pay attention to an animal?” Yuri gritted out, narrowing his eyes irritably. “And plus, the last time we came here, Viktor’s dog was literally pawing at the door to go outside.”

Shame creeped up as Yuuri recalled that he overlooked to pay attention to Makkachin the week his life deteriorated into shambles. Despite that, Yuuri was better now, way better than he was before.

“Well, I’m doing fine now and so is Makkachin. She’s mine too. I wouldn’t neglect her.”

“Do you even take her out for walks?” Yurio only continued to quarrel with him, refusing to let the issue go away easily. “Or play with her?”

Yuuri couldn’t answer to that.

It has been months since he really took Makkachin on a walk or properly took the time to toy around with her. These days, Yuuri spent more time with Viktor than he did with Makkachin. There was always something melancholy with the way she would just lay there, staring glumly at Viktor and Yuuri. His chest pang guiltily, as he reminded himself that Makkachin didn’t have much time in the world with her old age.

“I thought so.” Yurio scoffed, before he abruptly stood up from the couch. Yakov rose up as well. At the sudden movement, Yuuri swallowed heavily, as terror began to rip through him. There was no way the two were preparing to depart.

Which meant they were headed to his bedroom…

“Where’re you going?” Yuuri asked, his panicked voice causing Yakov and Yuri to glance at him suspiciously. Unfortunately, his frantic nerves were all over the place, meaning Yuuri was starting to act oddly. Yuuri could never behave in a composed manner whenever he felt anxious.

“We’re going to see your dog.” When Yuuri’s distressed expression refused to fade, Yurio narrowed his eyes dubiously. “Exactly what do you have to hide? We’ve been here plenty of times before you even lived here.”

Having said that, Yuri and Yakov began walking to the bedroom where Makkachin’s needy whimpers have yet to cease, as Yuuri trailed after them in a frenzy. When they both approached the door to his bedroom, Yuuri grabbed both their arms tightly.

“It’s fine!” Yuuri shakily declared, attempting to pull them away from the door. His strained, urgent smile most likely indicated that something was clearly wrong. “I can grab Makkachin for you. I need to take her out to use the restroom anyways.”

Yuri only shook out of Yuuri’s grip roughly, while Yakov gently tugged his arm from him. Yuuri let his hold go in despairing resignation. There was no escaping his situation now. But as Yuri started to twist the doorknob, Yuuri couldn’t restrain the petrified moan that escaped him.

“Stop...” Yuuri whispered, hoping that his one last attempt for them to walk away would be in his favor. However, Yuri didn’t listen to him. Instead, he opened the door, causing Yuuri to breath in sharply.

The first thing Yuuri saw when the bedroom door open was Makkachin dashing to them with a loud, enthusiastic whine. All three of them stared at the excited dog while Yurio knelt down to pet Makkachin with a murmur. She whimpered, clearly thrilled to have someone familiar in her presence.

But Yuuri didn’t keep his focus on Makkachin too long, as he urgently shifted his gaze up to scan the room. His eyes stopped dead on a figure sitting pliantly on his bed. Viktor was perched on the bed, as still as a statue, as he stared straight at Yuuri with a look of curiosity, most likely wondering about the two guests with him.

Yuuri froze in horror, paralyzed to the spot, as his mouth grew dry. Viktor sat there quietly but it wouldn’t be soon before they discover him.

If Viktor moved, they’d _see_ him. If Viktor breathed, they’d _hear_ him. If Viktor talked, they’d _know_ it wasn’t him. From here, there was no turning back for Yuuri. He couldn’t take anything back. Not a single choice.

There was no way he’d be able to dodge this inevitable dilemma. If anything, he should’ve expected it for months now. Sooner or later, they were going to find out Viktor was here with Yuuri the whole time and that moment was now.

From the slowly tensing body to his right, Yakov must’ve finally seen him. As the seconds, feeling more like hours from the delayed reaction, rolled by, Yuuri swallowed heavily, restlessly waiting for a word from the old coach. Anything from the man who basically raised Viktor.

Eventually, that word came in a hesitant wheeze of Viktor’s nickname.

“Vitya…?” Yakov whispered weakly, sounding close to having a heart attack from the way he began to breath heavily. The proclamation of Viktor’s name catched the attention of Viktor, who slowly shifted from Yuuri to Yakov. However, the gray-haired man stayed silent, analyzing Yakov with a blank look.

“What’re you talking about?” Yurio muttered in puzzlement, his focus entirely on Makkachin from the second they opened the door. After a few more pets to Makkachin’s head, he finally looked up to see what the commotion was about.

A distressed sound filled the air. Once Yuuri had time to process what exactly was going on, he realized the noise came from him. He darted his eyes away from Viktor and onto Yakov and Yuri, as he tried to discern the expressions on their face.

They were both incredibly pale, as the color from their faces only continued to drain away.

“Yuuri? What’s wrong?” Viktor murmured, furrowing his eyebrows when Yuuri had made the distraught sound. He ignored the other two, fixated only on Yuuri.

This wasn't how he wanted this to go.

“What the hell is going on?!” Yuri shouted in horror, face still as ghastly white, before taking a step back in fear. He pointed a quivering finger at Viktor, who only glimpsed at the young teenager with mild interest, before aiming his attention back on Yuuri. “There’s no way Viktor would be alive.”

Alongside to Yuri’s shocked shout, Yakov didn’t seem to be faring the situation well, clearly in utter disbelief from how he began to babble lowly to himself, almost sounding like a crazed lunatic from the way he spoke in circles.

“Vitya died. Vitya was dead when we held his funeral a week after. He was dead in the casket. We saw him dead. He was dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. ” Yakov muttered under his breath, before continuing to mumble incomprehensibly in Russian.

Suddenly feeling like he was responsible for their disturbed behavior, Yuuri quietly said, “I can explain.” From the way two pairs of unnerved eyes locked onto his, they evidently wanted answers from him.

“Yes, Viktor was dead but he came back to me. I promise he did.” Yuuri stated seriously, frowning when Yakov and Yuri only shook their heads dubiously.

“That can’t be.” Yurio stated incredulously, as he flickered his gaze back onto Viktor, who was still sitting peacefully on the bed, as though there weren’t two people in front of him that are scared to death at the sight of him. Then, Yurio rubbed his eyes harshly, like he was wondering whether his eyes were deceiving him.

“Well, it happened and if I was wrong, Viktor wouldn't be standing in front of you.” Yuuri argued stubbornly, turning to look at Vikor, who has not change his expression since they entered the bedroom. His face was still as composed and tranquil as ever.

Yakov grunted in doubt, his shocked attitude vanishing as his eyes narrowed analytically on Viktor, staring at him cautiously. The old coach appeared mistrustful, staying locked to the bedroom door. His body was rigid, not daring to move an inch.

“Why is Vitya like that?” Yakov questioned, as he grimaced heavily at Viktor, knitting his eyebrows together in skepticism. The huge frown on Yakov’s face, caused a cluster of wrinkles to form on his face, emphasizing his old age.

“Like what?” Yuuri didn’t understand what Yakov was trying to say.

“He’s not talking to us at all. It’s like we don't even exist in this room.” Yakov said, bringing up Viktor’s odd behavior. Next to Yuuri, Yurio stiffened up, like he had just noticed the strange quirk. At the words, Yuuri blinked, frowning as he peered at Viktor, slightly upset that Viktor has not bothered to acknowledge Yakov and Yuri.

“Oh…” Yuuri mumbled, as he looked disapprovingly at Viktor, who only fluttered his eyes inquisitively at the look. “Viktor, why aren’t you greeting Yakov and Yuri? Don’t be so rude.”

“Sorry. My manners must be a bit rusty these days.” Viktor finally said, as his mouth shifted upwards in a lukewarm, polite smile. He didn’t remove himself from the bed to shake their hands or give them a hug. Instead, Viktor continued to lie there, sitting there as if he had strings holding him up like a marionette. “Yakov. Yuri. It’s been forever. It’s nice to see you again after all this time.”

Silence filled the atmosphere. It was constraining and hard to breathe in. Somehow, the lack of reaction from the pair made Yuuri more anxious than he has felt during their entire stay. Yakov and Yuri didn’t say anything, just standing there stiffly with an incomprehensible expression on their faces.

“Who are you?”

When Yakov finally spoke, Yuuri could feel his heart plummeting down into his stomach. He felt like he was going to throw up any second. The accusation in Yakov’s voice was evident and straightforward. The biting tone in Yakov’s voice simply promised to beat Viktor down if he said anything out of the ordinary.

“I’m Viktor.” Viktor stated cooly, not perturbed in the slightest by Yakov’s harsh attitude. “Viktor Nikiforov. Yuuri’s fiance.”

“You’re not.”

“Why not? What makes you say that, Yakov?” Viktor seemed to say in amusement, as his lips quirked upwards. Yuuri could only tense at the look, not enjoying the inhuman smile that appeared on Viktor’s face. It was too cold of an expression to belong on Viktor’s face, unlike the pleasing ones Yuuri was used to.

“From the emotions you express to the way you move. You act nothing like Vitya.” Yakov stated grimly, clenching his jaw in concealed enmity. “I don’t know how you’re able to look or sound like him but I don’t think you should be here.”

“Plastic surgery...” Yurio muttered quietly but Yuuri paid no heed to the insulting remark. Instead, he stared at Yakov in irritation, miffed that he would imply that the man sitting in front of him was not Viktor. He knew they would be shocked to see Viktor again after his death but he didn’t think they would go so far to treat Viktor as coldly as a stranger.

“W-What are you talking about?” Yuuri said furiously, facing Yakov heatedly. “Stop that.”

“Yuuri, I don’t know what person you’ve found here but you can’t let random people come into your house, especially if they’re claiming to be Vitya, who is dead. This person is screwing around with you. You need to kick him out.” Yakov told him urgently, as he went to grasp his wrist and squeeze it insistently, as he looked at Yuuri in grave concern.

“I’m not going to do that.” Yuuri said, his eyebrows raising up in bewilderment. Viktor wasn’t some random person he picked off the streets. Viktor was Yuuri’s coach, friend and lover. For what reason would he want to kick out Viktor?

“Then, I’ll do it.” Yurio spoke out for the first time since Viktor greeted them. He glared at Yuuri impatiently. “You need to wake the fuck up! This weird ass stranger probably came up to you, wanting something from you. I swear to god, I hope you didn’t sleep with this creepy fucker!”

Yuri began to stomp towards Viktor, his intention clear in his vehement gaze. Yuuri darted after him, before placing his body between the two of them. He placed a shaking hand on Viktor’s chest, distancing him from Yurio.

“Get out of my way.” Yuri demanded, his turquoise eyes glinting dangerously. In response, Yuuri tentatively shook his head, frowning at Yurio. There was a strong possibility Yurio might be aiming to hurt Viktor and Yuuri didn’t want that at all. This was his home and he wasn’t going to allow Yurio to give him demands.

When Yuuri refused, Yurio flushed in fury, before raising a hand up. The way Yuri jerked his arm downwards made Yuuri believe he was aiming to hit him so he recoiled back and squeezed his eyes shut, terrified to be the receiving end of the blow.

However, he didn’t feel anything, not even a flutter of air from movement. Hesitantly, Yuuri opened his eyes, blinking in a daze when he saw Yuri’s arm clutched in someone’s hand. Yuuri shifted his eyes on Viktor, taken aback when he saw Viktor had stood up, holding Yuri’s limb in his tight grip.

Viktor stared impassively at Yuri, his stoic expression and icy blue eyes drilled into the young teenager indifferently. There was a shudder of terror from Yuri as Viktor towered over him almost menacingly. Yuuri froze up, not liking the tense atmosphere.

“Viktor…” Yuuri whispered cautiously, silently warning Viktor to not pull any strange moves. But Viktor promptly ignored him, as he started to speak.

“Since you insist on knowing…” Viktor began automatically, his face aloof, causing Yuuri to breath in sharply as he flicked his head to stare at Viktor in wide-eyed horror. There was no way he was going to admit it to them.

However, Viktor continued anyways, spilling out the details about himself that Yuuri didn’t want a single person to learn.

“I’m an android that Yuuri purchased to be Viktor Nikiforov so he could cope through his fiancé's death. He reached out to me from an online service that people use to contact their deceased loved ones.”

Yuuri stood there, shocked that Viktor would reveal such a secret. In the past several months, whenever Yuuri would grow devastated by Viktor’s unnatural behavior and fault him for being nothing like his fiance, Viktor never said anything, only continuing to play the role that he was given. Eventually, Yuuri never pondered over the issue any longer.

Until now where Viktor chose to reveal such a thing so easily to the very people Yuuri didn’t want knowing.

“An android...?” Yakov whispered in bafflement, as he glanced at Yuuri, who only stared back nervously, Realization flooded the man’s face, as he began to comprehend the words that Viktor had exposed. Yuuri swallowed heavily, as he shifted his focus down to the floor. “Yuuri, you…”

“What nonsense are you spouting? Androids aren’t as detailed as you. They don’t even look human. You can’t prove that you’re an android.” Yurio turned to Yakov, trying to see if the man would agree with him, but when Yakov only looked back with a solemn frown, Yuri turned back to Viktor with an irked scowl. “This nutcase is as mad as Katsudon.”

Viktor only stared back dryly, before the blue eyes his fiancé donned flashed a vile green. Yuuri winced and jerked back at the sudden change in eye color, hearing an alarmed gasp from Yurio, as they both took a step back from Viktor, whose eyes have returned to their original color. The same bright blue eyes that Yuuri loved to admire everyday.

There was a few seconds of quiet as everyone in the room tried to comprehend what had exactly happened.

“T-That’s.” Yurio stammered, before shaking himself out of it. He declared firmly, albeit a little jittery. “That doesn’t change anything. You still have to go. You’re not helping him cope at all. Look at him! He’s living in a shitty fantasy and you’re only feeding him illusions of his dead fiance. That can’t be good for him.”

The furious look Yurio conveyed to Viktor suddenly shifted to Yuuri, causing him to stare back uneasily.

“You can’t keep this thing in your house.” Yuri stated lowly, leaning closer to mutter into Yuuri’s ear, as if he didn’t want Viktor to hear. But Viktor was only several feet away, probably hearing every single word with that fixed stare of his. “It’s brainwashing you.”

“He’s not an it! Viktor is not a thing!”

“What if it’s watching you?” Yuri questioned harshly, promptly ignoring Yuuri's angry retort, as the volume of his voice increased until the loudness of his voice was of him yelling in infuriation. “It could be keeping an eye on every single move of yours, feeding data to whoever the fuck sent this to you! They could be observing you in your sleep like a goddamn weirdo!”

Yuuri blanched, turning as pale as a sheet, at the thought. It never occurred to him that someone could possibly be watching him through Viktor’s eyes but it was an issue he should’ve considered earlier. Yurio might’ve been spouting crap but he was bringing up some fair points.

“Viktor’s not like that. He wouldn’t do that.” Yuuri said uncertainty, glancing at Viktor to see if he had anything to offer.

However, Viktor only peered at him with a soft frown, not giving a single reply in defense. When he was not presented with a response, Yuuri felt himself tremble in horror at the idea. He hoped Viktor could clarify with him after this all this ruckus died down that nothing was being fed to the people that was behind the company.

“It’s not Viktor!” Yuri spat at him, directing his hateful glare onto Yuuri.

Having said that, Yuri gripped Viktor’s arm and attempted haul him to the door. Strangely enough, Viktor followed along, his distant facial expression not changing in the slightest. Dread filled Yuuri, as the thought of Viktor leaving instantly flashed through his mind, panicking him further. Yuuri held Viktor’s other arm, adamant on keeping Viktor in the bedroom.

“Let go.” Yuri snarled irritably, as he pulled on Viktor’s arm.

“You can’t. You can't!” Yuuri shouted desperately, sounding like a hysterical child, as he jerked back on Viktor’s arm. Yurio gripped the other arm, heaving back on his side. It was as if they were playing an aggressive version of tug-a-war, with Yuri and Yuuri as opposing sides, and Viktor as the rope they were fighting over.

From the corner of his eye, Yuuri noticed Makkachin had scampered out of the room, frightened by the violent argument that had suddenly occurred. Yakov stayed away, staring at the two of them quarreling with a sober look in his eyes.

“Enough!”

Yuri suddenly shouted, as he let go of his grip, startling Yuuri who had only continued to tug. The force of his pull had Yuuri and Viktor tumbling onto the bed. Yuuri let go of Viktor’s arm and stood up, attempting to compose himself. He breathed in shakily and attempted to glare at Yurio, whose cold stare had him faltering.

“You’re delusional.” Yuri snapped out bitterly, as he stared at Yuuri grimly. “If you think that’s Viktor, you need to get a grip on reality. I don’t know if you realize this but having this android, who looks exactly like Viktor, is only hurting you more! What would the public think of this? If Viktor was actually here in this room, what do you think he’d feel about this? Don’t you think he’d hate you for replacing him?”

At the assertive tirade, Yuuri broke down. The tears that suddenly flooded out from Yuuri’s eyes were expected, as he wept loudly. Of course he had thought of every single problem Yuri had yelled at him. It always tormented him from time to time, troubling Yuuri on whether he picked the right path.

“I know… But still, I miss him so much...” Yuuri sniffled, his voice quivering weakly. He removed his glasses to wipe his tears briefly, before placing them back on. However, he couldn’t stop crying. “Even after his death, I thought about him constantly. This was the only thing that really helped.”

Yuuri began begging to Yuri and Yakov hopelessly, wishing that they would let him stay with Viktor a little longer.

“Please…” Yuuri whimpered, as heavy tears continued to flow down his ruddy face. He sobbed, watching sadly when Yuri only stared back at him, frozen, not knowing what to do. “Please, please, please. Don’t take Viktor away from me. I can’t live without him.”

Yuri and Yakov turned to each other silently, as a rush of emotions shot through their faces. Yuuri watched tearfully as they seemed to come to a decision, staring at him with resolve. By the dour expressions on their face, it couldn’t have been good for Yuuri.

At that point, Yuuri no longer knew what the future held for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONE. LAST. CHAPTER. LEFT. I am so excited to finish this! So, did Viktor's confrontation with someone other than Yuuri happened in the way you expected it to? Also, sorry for leaving you on a cliffhanger! 
> 
> Well, until next time! (AKA the last time) (hopefully there's no problem with the notification email since it doesn't seem to be working for me)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just before you read on, I just wanted to thank everyone who has read this story. I've written plenty of other long stories for other fandoms but I never managed to complete any of my works that weren't a one-shot. Despite not receiving a lot response on this story like some of my other fics, I'm proud of this nonetheless. 
> 
> Go ahead and refresh your heads with the last chapter and enjoy this last chapter!
> 
> BTW, this chapter is in Yurio's POV.

Yuri Plisetsky entered the skating rink, twirling the car keys in his hands. The sound of blades scraping the ice reached his ears as he walked in. He watched impassively as a young skater attempted a triple toe loop, before landing roughly against the ice.

“Whenever you jump, you need to tighten your arms closer to your body so the spins flow more quicker. Then, you’ll be able to land a triple jump more easily.” A stern voice instructed in English, a slight Japanese accent heard in his voice.

Yuri paused from his spot, simply observing as Yuuri critiqued one of his students. There were several of other younger skaters on the ice that were practicing their step sequence or attempting jumps but none of them skated close by to where Yuuri was commenting on his student’s skating.

It didn’t take long for Yuuri to notice him and the steely expression on the Japanese man’s face melted away into a softer one. With a stoic look, Yuri approached the ice rink, not saying anything.

“Hey, Yurio. Is it already time?” Yuuri asked, skating up to him with a soft smile, before looking down at the watch on his wrist. Yuri felt his face twitch in irritation at the nickname, wanting to deny the silly name that always caused annoyance to flare up whenever he heard it.

“Yeah, it’s about time to go.” Yuri replied back, observing quietly as Yuuri yelled back to a few of his skating students that he was going to leave. There was another coach in the ice rink that assisted Yuuri on teaching the blooming skaters. The other Russian coach usually stayed behind a few more hours to help out and make sure the young students leave the ice rink with their guardians safely.

Eventually, after saying goodbyes, they left the building and entered Yuri’s brand new car. He received his car a few months ago, along with a driver license in his hands. Once he had his license in his hands, Yuri declared to Yuuri that he won’t allow the older man take Uber any more and that he was willing to drive him anywhere he wanted to go.

It seemed stupid to Yuri that Yuuri would want to ride in a stranger’s car when Yuri had access to a car.

After some reluctance about burdening Yuri, which the blond teen claimed was bullshit, Yuuri finally accepted. This meant that Yuri would have to take Yuuri back and forth between his coaching job and his apartment but it didn’t really bother him.

At age nineteen, Yuri had grown a couple of inches while his body filled out a bit. He was an accomplished figure skater with a few gold wins from previous years. Yuri even won gold at the men’s individual skate at the Winter Olympics at PyeongChang. Even now, Yuri continued to skate professionally.

On the other hand, Yuuri was now twenty-seven, the same age Yuri recalled Viktor being when he had dropped everything in Russia and flew to Hasetsu to coach Yuuri. As of before, Yuuri was no longer a skater but he was now coaching junior skaters.

Compared to the first time Yuri had first met Yuuri, his appearance didn’t look too different from back then. He was at a healthy weight and he didn’t looked as ragged as Yuri had seen him before. Back when Yakov and Yuri had went to visit Yuuri after they went months without contact from him, Yuri was horrified to see how filthy the pig looked and the way he was way _too_ skinny, as if he hadn’t been eating properly.

At that moment, Yuri couldn’t help but be appalled by how much Yuuri had changed. He had closed himself up in the apartment, not leaving the place unless there was absolutely _no_ more food left. It was a miracle Yuuri and Makkachin didn’t starve to death. It was horrendous that Yuuri let himself go like that, like he didn’t care about his life any longer if Viktor wasn’t by his side.   

Yuuri had rushed off and allowed himself to live in a pipe dream in that home of Viktor’s.

Yuri didn’t like thinking about that particular day because whenever he did, there would always be a biting pain coursing through his body, stabbing his heart in a sharp, _agonizing_ form until he acknowledged just exactly the emotion he was feeling.

_Guilt._

Guilt for not knowing the signs of Yuuri closing himself off from the world. Guilt for not giving Yuuri the comfort he needed after Viktor’s death. Guilt for not trying _harder_ to reach Yuuri.

He knew how much Viktor’s death had hurt Yuuri. Hell, Yuri was physically there right after he had heard the news when Yuuri sat on the couch in shock, crying hysterically for at least an hour. Yuri understood how much it pained Yuuri. Everyone did. From Yuuri’s family to his friends, they all knew how torn up Yuuri would be after Viktor passed on.

Everyone said he only needed _time_ to mourn so Yuri backed off and gave Yuuri _time._ It’ll only take _time_ and then, Yuuri will be fine. But _time_ was all Yuuri needed to toss himself into a deceiving fantasy.

At least now, Yuuri was better than before which wasn’t much but it was better than nothing and nothing was what Yuuri was in that bleak, secluded apartment of his _._

“So how are your students?” Yuri asked, as he shook himself away from his unsettling thoughts.

He tried to think of the more positive side since they’ve intruded on Yuuri’s life. Yuuri had a job in skating where he was coaching students in the junior level. Yuuri was talking to his friends and family again.

Yuuri was beginning to smile again.

“I think Nikita has promise in him. I’m sure he’ll be able to win the Junior Grand Prix Final if he continues to put in the work.” Yuuri smiled proudly, looking pleased as he talked enthusiastically about his student.

“Well, he better not be slacking off if he wants to win gold, especially since it’s off-season.” Yuri stated surly, frowning as he began to drive down the street.

He used to do laze around as a junior skater during the summer after the skating season was over. It wasn’t until his first year as a senior where he had began to take skating more seriously, considering that he was then in the big league.

“I’m sure he’ll be able to succeed.” Yuuri said with a dimming smile, before he began to whisper softly. “He kind of reminds me of Viktor when he was a junior skater…”

After hearing the dreaded name being brought up, Yuri scrunched his face in dismay, almost stomping on the break to his car to say something in contempt to Yuuri. However, Yuri immediately changed topics, not wanting to discuss a sensitive issue.

“Do you want to go anywhere to eat? There’s a new restaurant that opened last week just down the street.” Yuri said carefully, not wanting to distress Yuuri any further by mentioning Viktor. At a stoplight, Yuri glimpsed at Yuuri, who wasn’t revealing much as he stared out the window with a faraway gleam in his brown eyes.

“Can we visit Yakov?” Yuuri uttered quietly, as a frown began to form on his face. At the look, anger flared up in Yuri, as his mouth began to twitch noticeably. Yuuri didn’t show any signs of noticing Yuri’s displeasure as he continued looking out the window distantly.

“Why? It’s not a special occasion or anything.” Yuri muttered irritably, gritting his teeth as he jerked his wheel to the right, sharply turning the car. At the sudden lurch, Yuuri tensed up in his seat but didn’t gripe about Yuri’s reckless driving.

“I just miss his company. That’s all.” Yuuri mumbled sadly, heartache clear as he continued to speak. “And I don’t really have any company at home now that Makkachin is gone. It’s lonely being alone...”

Yuri’s heart clenched painfully at the reminder of the loss of Makkachin. She died a couple months back due to old age. Yuuri was heartbroken and wouldn’t stop crying for days. The sight of Yuuri’s tears had made Yuri uneasy, as he was instantly reminded of Yuuri’s reaction the week of Viktor’s demise.

Every moment with Yuuri made Yuri felt like he was dealing with a ticking bomb. It was frightening to Yuri how devastated Yuuri easily got.

When Yuri suggested adopting a poodle, Yuuri only rejected the idea tearfully. He said that he couldn’t replace Makkachin with another dog, especially not after what had happened with Viktor. At Yuuri’s response, Yuri could only shrug off the remark uncomfortably, not wanting to be reminded of it.

“Fine.”

Yuri said reluctantly, as he swerved his car to the opposite direction of Yuuri’s apartment, heading the way of Yakov’s house. He glanced at Yuuri, who instantly began to liven up. Yuuri smiled gently at him, his brown eyes gleaming in delight.

“Thanks.” Yuuri said softly. In return, Yuri only scoffed, annoyed at himself for giving in so easily. He really needed to learn how to handle Yuuri’s spiraling emotions better and learn how to ignore how sensitive Yuuri was over every single, _little_ thing.

Yuuri continued to smile happily, completely different to the sad persona he put on earlier.

At the content look, Yuri bit his tongue and turned to the road with a vexed glare, speeding the rest of the way to Yakov’s house. 

 

\---

 

It’s been more than two years since Viktor’s death. Yuri reminded himself as he knocked on the door, waiting patiently with Yuuri by his side until Yakov opened the door, a grouchy expression on his face. His coach looked at the two of them in dismay while Yuuri only smiled back timidly.

“Yuuri wanted to stop by your house.” Yuri said dully, before pointing with his thumb at Yuuri. “He says he missed you.”

“Really…?” Yakov dubiously questioned, his eyes narrowing at the two of them tiredly. The old coach looked entirely exhausted. “The both of you just came last week and the week before that.”

“I guess it’s becoming a weekly ritual to visit.” Yuri bit out sarcastically, giving Yuuri a mean side eye. Yuuri didn’t say anything. He only flushed, anxiously glancing the other direction, away from Yakov’s scrutinizing look.

Yakov released a resigned sigh, before opening his door wide open. The two of them walked in, following Yakov in as he turned on a few lights to illuminate the dark rooms of the house.

“Did you want to eat dinner?” Yakov asked lowly, glancing back at the two of them.

Yuri felt his stomach growl in response, answering Yakov’s question for him. However, Yuuri only looked unwilling at the idea. When there was no reply from Yuuri, Yuri and Yakov stared at each other discreetly, fully aware of what Yuuri wanted.

“I-I want to…” Yuuri swallowed nervously, stumbling over his words before stopping completely. He looked at them pleadingly, brown eyes drenched in desperation. Yuri could only scowl bitterly as he glared at the floor as Yakov breathed out loudly, appearing ten times more exhausted than he did before.

“Come on then.”

Yakov muttered faintly, as he began to lead them down a hallway filled with rooms. There was one room at the end of the hall that led down to a basement and unfortunately, it was the one door they’ll be entering through. It was completely eerie to Yuri that they’d be walking down to a dark, isolated storage room.

Once they reached the bottom of the stairs, Yakov reached to switch on the light, which flickered on slowly. Yuri breathed in heavily, as his heart started to race. Yakov was in a similar state, his body stiff next to him. Despite coming here plenty of times, Yuri didn’t think he could ever prepare himself for the sight.

However, Yuuri was the exact opposite from them. He shivered in excitement, clearly waiting in anticipation.

As the light turned on, the sight of dull, icy eyes greeted him, blinking gradually at them as they stared back at him. Once he saw Yuuri, a languid smile slowly appeared, which looked entirely false to Yuri. At the spectacle of the android, Yuuri only beamed excitedly, as he raced to hug the android that was standing in the corner of the basement.

“Viktor!” Yuuri exclaimed in delight, hugging the gray-haired android tightly, burrowing his face into ‘Viktor’s’ neck. The next words were muffled against the android’s skin. “I missed you so much.”

“I saw you just last week.” The android replied back in fake enthusiasm, hugging Yuuri back just as firmly. Yuri only grimaced at the phony reaction, narrowing his green eyes hatefully at the android, who only flashed him a crisp smile in return, emotionless like the piece of junk it was.

Yuri stared stiffly at the sickening display, his jaw clenched tight. When Yakov turned away and began walking up the stairs, his footsteps deafening in Yuri’s ears, he peered back at Yakov with an inquiring frown. Yakov didn’t usually run off so early in their visit with the android.

“I saw him earlier today so I’ll be heading to my bedroom if you need anything. There’s food on the dining table if you want to eat after.” Yakov muttered with a stern frown, before exiting the basement, leaving Yuuri and Yuri alone with it.

Yuri breathed in deeply, before glancing back at Yuuri, who clearly didn’t hear a single word that Yakov had stated. Yuuri was talking to the android cheerfully, his eyes shimmering more brightly than Yuri has seen him look like outside of this room. In a response to Yuuri’s remark, the android expressed a synthetic reaction in return, grinning brightly in an attempt to please Yuuri.

“My students are really talented. I’m sure they’ll be able to succeed to do well in the skating season that’s coming up.” Yuuri said proudly, smiling even harder when ‘Viktor’ hummed in a gratifying manner.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying your job.” The android said tenderly. Yuri wanted to gag in disgust at the words. Just exactly why did Yuuri believe in such nonsense? It was clear the android was faking it, despite how legitimate his expressions looked or how much he sounded like Viktor. Yuri wandered to the corner of the room, sitting in a worn-down chair, as he observed the two with sharp eyes.

Even now, Yuri had to ask himself, how did it come to this? If Yuri would have had his way back then, the android wouldn't even be in this room in the first place.

When they had first discovered the android in Yuuri’s apartment, they had tried getting rid of it.

After seeing the unsettling mindset Yuuri was in, both Yakov and Yuri reached towards the decision to split both Yuuri and the android apart. It was obvious that Yuuri wasn’t in the right state of mind and just spending more time with some counterfeit of Viktor would not help him at all. Despite his never-ending tears, it appeared as if Yuuri knew he didn’t have the power to deny their choice.

When Yuri questioned the android at Yakov’s house, it didn’t say anything of useful information. In fact, the android informed them that it never told Yuuri in great detail about where it came from, just that it offered a solution to Yuuri’s loneliness. At the revelation, Yuri had wanted to punch the piece of useless junk in its listless face.

After hours of relentlessly drilling the android for answers, it was obvious the android wasn’t going to blurt out any secrets. The adamant interrogation eventually worn out Yakov and Yuri. It had been a long, unbelieving day for them. Before going to sleep for the night, with Yuri sleeping over at Yakov’s house, they had ended up locking the door to the basement where they kept the android in.

The next day, they went over to Yuuri’s apartment, who seemed slightly better but still distraught over being apart from ‘Viktor.’ Yakov and Yuri had a long conversation on their concerns about Yuuri, trying to knock some sense into the Japanese man. Thankfully, Yuuri was compliant enough to listen to their worries and promise them that he’ll try harder to recover.

However, before leaving, they made sure to ask Yuuri on where he even obtained the android. In response, Yuuri had furrowed his eyebrows together in thought, before uttering the name that had started it all for him. Diana Vadimovna, someone who Yuuri claimed was Viktor’s sponsor. Apparently, Yuuri had met her at Viktor’s funeral, where he was unwilling to listen to her nonsense until she had emailed him insistently.

On the drive back to his house, Yuri noticed that Yakov had seemed more irritable than usual, with his eyebrows scrunched together in thought. It wasn’t until they reached his house where Yakov revealed to him what was bothering him.

There was _never_ a sponsor of Viktor that went by the name, Diana Vadimovna. She wasn’t even in the list of guests invited to Viktor’s funeral, which was a fairly-sized event, meaning that there was a possibility that the mysterious stranger could’ve sneaked in. They couldn’t exactly figure out what Diana’s intentions were and why she wanted Yuuri to join the strange service.

Once again, they went down to the basement to drill the android about who exactly Diana was but there was no answers. As they continued to talk to ‘Viktor’, Yuuri felt a chill overcome him as he began to ponder on the obscure origin of the android. They knew next to nothing about where the Viktor look-alike came from and about exactly _who_ informed Yuuri about the weird software.

In frustration, they had left the basement and locked the door. In Yakov’s living room, they had contemplated endlessly on whether to dispose the android. Yuri proposed that they should take a hammer and jam it into the android’s head until it stopped functioning. The android was bound to stop working if that were to happen and then, they could ditch it in a junkyard somewhere.

However, Yakov had looked disturbed by Yuri’s suggestion. He then denied Yuri’s idea, deeming it to be cruel while saying it would feel like killing off Viktor for a second time. Yuri argued back that it was only an object, a _thing_ that looked like Viktor but wasn’t.

Yakov sternly dismissed Yuri’s reason and ensured him that he’ll keep the android in the basement and have the door locked at all times. In spite of it sounding like a bad plan and somewhat creepy, Yuri reluctantly agreed.

Then, a year passed and despite Yuuri’s difficulty to move on from the android, he eventually began falling into a normal lifestyle again, with Yuri and Yakov by his side on a regular basis, making sure Yuuri was able to easily go through his daily routine. Yakov even managed to get Yuuri a teaching job as a coach for Junior skaters.

But, just when life seemed to be going okay for them again, misfortune came back to bite them all in the ass.

A dinner at Yakov’s house after a year of living their lives comfortably was all it took. Yuri wasn’t even sure who to blame for it. Yuuri, who asked curiously about the locks on the basement door, or Yakov, who revealed to Yuuri _what_ exactly was in the basement. When Yuuri had seen the android again after so long, he broke down into tears and had sobbed into its chest for at least an hour. 

Yuri was frustrated when Yakov allowed the visits to continue on certain holidays until they were eventually seeing the damn android on a weekly basis. When Yuri confronted Yakov about it, Yakov stated that Yuuri seemed well enough to let the visits slide on by. At the response, Yuri had grown irked and somewhat suspicious of Yakov but he didn’t argue any further.

Now, they were all in this current, enormous mess.

As Yuri continued to observe the conversation between the android and Yuuri, he pondered on whether this was truly okay of them all to do.

“I’ll try to visit you again next week, Viktor…” Yuuri whispered quietly, like he didn’t want Yuri to hear him. But Yuri heard him anyways, narrowing his eyes before sending an irked scowl to Yuuri, who smiled back sheepishly.

“Okay then, solnyshko.” The android whispered back, his blue eyes crinkled, as he smiled down at Yuuri in amusement. “I’ll see you next week.”

With those words, Yuuri pulled the android into a hug again, squeezing it hard as if this were the last time he would see it. Yuri clenched his hands into a fist, glowering darkly at the insincere expression of content the android feigned. Yuuri was too far gone to see the pretend smile that would emerge on the android’s face everytime it attempted to display a shred of happiness, or the way ‘Viktor’s’ emotions never reached its eyes.

This ‘Viktor’ was simply artificial. It was emotionless. He didn’t understand why Yuuri couldn’t see that. Despite the recognizable appearance of Viktor, the dishonest grin on its face and _dead_ look in its familiar blue eyes just screamed to Yuri that this _couldn’t_ be Viktor. It was _nothing_ like Viktor’s warm, heartfelt faces.

The android was awful at putting on a mask of Viktor’s. Unlike Viktor, who excelled at putting a charade right on the spot.

“Yurio?” ‘Viktor’ said inquisitively when Yuri continued to watch the two of them with a penetrating gaze. Then, with a serene look, the android opened his other arm, the one that didn’t contain Yuuri in it, inviting him for a hug. Yuri looked at the open arm warily, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.  

If he were to fall into the android’s hug, it would be an insult to Viktor, almost like if Yuri were to spat on his grave.

But despite the abhorrence Yuri contained towards the android, he couldn’t resist the inviting pull towards it. The _familiar_ face that smiled cunningly at him, with his short gray hair and tall stature that only induced wistful memories within his head of Viktor. It looked exactly the same as Viktor had looked before he had died. It was uncanny to see Viktor appear young as everyone grew older. 

Yuri stepped towards the android cautiously, as it watched him with calm, blue eyes, a faint trace of a smile on its face.

At one point in these past two years, Yuri had visited Viktor’s grave and brought the dead man flowers. He had came to the cemetery, wondering if Viktor had maybe, _just maybe,_ really ascended from death. But the gravesite was undisturbed, confirming Yuri’s thoughts that the android wasn’t Viktor.

Yuri distantly wondered if Yuuri had ever worked up the courage to visit Viktor’s burial site. But seeing how Yuuri seemed to be in denial over Viktor’s death, Yuri doubted it.

Viktor’s death was the catalyst for all the shit that has happened. Silently, in his head, Yuri cursed Viktor for leaving them, hoping that the man was rolling around in his burial home, weeping at the disaster that has disturbed them all. That moron only continued to cause troublesome problems for them even after he has left the world. It was just like Viktor to heavily influence them like that.

Unlike Yuuri, Yuri wouldn’t let himself fall into this lie that Yuuri had led himself to believe. Even Yakov was starting to fall into such a trickery. Yakov never told him but Yuri _knew_ that the old coach came down to the basement of his home to visit the android and talk to it for hours as if it were an old friend. It bothered Yuri that Yakov was growing senile in his old age.

However, Yuri was different from the both of them. He didn’t miss Viktor and he knew this _thing_ wasn’t Viktor. It was merely an android, an artificial being that was made to bring comfort to the grieving people that continued to mourn after many years.

But as Yuri fell into ‘Viktor’s’ embrace with Yuuri by his side, his eyes started to sting. Yuri scrunched his face bitterly, trying to bottle up the conflicting emotions rising up in him. Gritting his teeth together, Yuri stubbornly smothered the tears waiting to fall.

Yuri attempted to reassure himself that he won’t fall for ‘Viktor’s’ deceiving lie, unlike Yuuri and Yakov.

But despite Yuri’s crumbling resolve, there was a voice in the back of his mind, cruelly whispering that he has already tumbled down the black void of deception and falsehood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, the ending didn't make you too sad! I wanted a bleak and dreary ending because the whole service of being able to talk to the 'dead.' I still wanted Yuuri to be happy, even if it is in his own head, hence him being able to reunite with the android while being able to return to a functional life. When I first planned this story, I had wanted the ending to be much darker but it just seemed to pessimistic and rather unrealistic when I pondered more on it. This story is sad enough and I assume no one needs an even sadder ending. Plus, I'm sure I had Yuuri crying in at least half the story, which is really depressing but I swear I didn't intend on it at first.
> 
> There's a few things I wished I could've changed about the earlier chapters, including the way I wrote it but oh well... Anyways, thanks again to any of the readers reading this last chapter, I commend you for reading this all the way until the end!


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